[Peonie30]

Is it just me and my obsessive personality that I can't seem to totally let go of the influence of the people who aren't already present in my life?

My former friend's birthday is today/tomorrow May 19th and I feel like that day is somewhat a burden that I have to endure for 24 hours when it's not even obligatory in my part to make something out of it other than it being her birthday since she's not anymore a friend of mine...

I really hate this feeling... I hope to talk this out with my therapist the next time we have an online consultation...

I feel weird and ashamed to confess this feeling about someone else's birthday and the bad effects on me... Just like to know if anyone also experiences the same or just will give me advice on this...

[mote.of.soul]

Hi,

I can relate to your dilemma in a number of ways, yes. That sense of obligation to someone rather than it coming from a place of love.

At the end of the day, for me, if I can't say that a certain person is a proper friend, then it's best to honor that fact rather than pretend that they are a friend. It may be a very awkward step to take but I say to myself, if the other person is going to respond in a funny way, then so be it. That's okay, they have a right to reply. And that's all. Doesn't mean you don't respect them as a human being, though, of course.

That's all I can think of on that matter, Poenie30. And thanks for reaching out. Very interesting subject.

[Peonie30]

Originally Posted by mote.of.soul

Hi,


I can relate to your dilemma in a number of ways, yes. That sense of obligation to someone rather than it coming from a place of love.


At the end of the day, for me, if I can't say that a certain person is a proper friend, then it's best to honor that fact rather than pretend that they are a friend. It may be a very awkward step to take but I say to myself, if the other person is going to respond in a funny way, then so be it. That's okay, they have a right to reply. And that's all. Doesn't mean you don't respect them as a human being, though, of course.


That's all I can think of on that matter, Poenie30. And thanks for reaching out. Very interesting subject.

Thank you...

[SorryShaped]

I miss people that I've had to cut ties with. I don't know how to get past it. My t has not been a help either