[Bookworm257]

My dad's gf says that I didn't use any toilet paper because she changed it in the morning and when she got home from work (I am currently at home all day), it was still unopened (the end was still stuck to the roll).

I DICTINCTLY remember using toilet paper. It is distinct because it was the start of my period so there was blood (apologize if tmi). I didn't say anything because I didn't want to start an argument or anything but I was shocked and hurt that she would literally lie to me about this; I even remember the roll being about 2/3 through and when I went into the bathroom after she said this it was like a full roll. She had jsut been in the bathroom so either she changed it to make it seem like a full roll or my memory is off, which is totally possible (I have adhd and my memory is not always the best).

I literally remember using toilet paper. And then later she was like, "hey, do you want to take a shower after dinner?" I said I had already taken one that day, trying to use a calm, non-sarcastic tone of voice because I didn't want to confront her or fight. And then in a total passive-aggressive and sarcastic tone that REALLY rubbed me the wrong way she said, "Well I think you should take another one." I wanted to tell her to eff off but didn't.

She's never really done anything like this (there were two similar incidents where it felt like she was lying to me but when I thought about it later I realized her memory was just off). Literally never. It's not like gaslighting where the person does it all the time to make the other person question their reality, but it sure felt like it!

She's not the type of person who would deliberately gaslight anyone or do stuff like that but tonight that's what it felt like was going on.

Maybe my memory's off and I really didn't use it. Maybe her memory's off and she didn't change it, or changed it later than she thought she had. But it really feels like she's lying to me and ever since she said that I have felt really hurt and confused.

Why would someone do that? Why would someone lie about something like that or try to make someone seem like they did something they didn't do?

I know I probaby shouldn't be posting this to here but I have no one else to tlalk to and I'm really confused and can't stop thinking about it.

[SorryShaped]

Maybe she's worried you haven't been awake?
If it had triggered anger with me, I'd probably have said something about her favorite sweater felt so much better back there.

[mote.of.soul]

Originally Posted by Bookworm257

...Why would someone do that? Why would someone lie about something like that or try to make someone seem like they did something they didn't do?

Yes, 'why' indeed. When it comes to the workings of peoples minds, I guess there could be a whole plethora of reasons why she would say/do those things, so, at the end of the day, I don't know why.

There's the possibility that right or wrong, she honestly believes you didn't use the toilet roll and so asked you later on to have another shower, for the personal hygiene. Maybe she forgot she replaced it? But if she did in fact replace that roll then lied to you, well, that's just really weird, to me. It's a bit twisted.

Maybe just let it go this time Bookworm257, notch it up to a misunderstanding, a mistake, on her part, and just see how things go from there.

Also, if it's possible, call her out, in a very calm way, on any future gaslighting. Say something like, "Please don't gaslight me, it's not right." And hopefully a peaceful discussion can eventuate from there.

All the best.