[rdgrad15]

Do you think it's okay to be friends with someone when there is a huge age gap? Like more than 10 years old or something? It could be someone who is either way older than you or way younger than you. Wasn't sure what your thoughts were. I've heard that it's okay for some people but for others, not so much. Also I think age comes into play as well. I know one person, who is 27, thinks it's okay to be friends with someone who is only 17. The person thinks that if it's between two females then it is okay. It's only not okay when it's between a male and female or two males.

Personally, I think that is not okay at all. Mainly because I work at a high school so all my instincts start screaming, "No! Bad idea!" It makes me nervous when I hear anyone, who is way over 21 and even out of college claim that they are friends with someone under the age of 21 and still in high school. The person doesn't work at a school, neither does her 17 year old coworker, but still, way too young in my opinion. I think it's very inappropriate and nothing good comes out of that, regardless of gender. As for people who are both over the age of 21, it may be more acceptable and more lenient, but I think it could still be seen as weird. Do you think it's weird to be friends with someone with a huge age gap? Just wondered what you guys thought.

[divine1966]

I don’t see it making any difference. Why is it weird? A good friend of mine is 77 and I am 54. And the other friends are are 64, 67, 33, 38, 40 etc Some are my age or about

Now being friends with 17 year old is different because they aren’t of legal age. That’s weird. But if both people are adults then who cares. Most of the time people don’t care what other people do as long as it’s legal

[Discombobulated]

I think it's entirely up to the individuals themselves to decide although obviously when someone works in education they should keep to professional boundaries.

[Fuzzybear]

I don't think it's weird at all. Some 20 year olds are more ''mature'' and sensitive to others (in a ''good'' way) than some 50 year olds, probably. If someone is 17 though, with a 10 year age gap as you mentioned, that is not ideal, and maybe weird, imo.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I don’t see it making any difference. Why is it weird? A good friend of mine is 77 and I am 54. And the other friends are are 64, 67, 33, 38, 40 etc Some are my age or about

Now being friends with 17 year old is different because they aren’t of legal age. That’s weird. But if both people are adults then who cares. Most of the time people don’t care what other people do as long as it’s legal

Makes sense. In terms of both people being over 21, honestly, I personally don't care. I know some people that would. I guess it depends. Now being friends with a 17 year old is weird but oh well, can't do anything about that. And I agree, as long as it's legal, then it is okay.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Discombobulated

I think it's entirely up to the individuals themselves to decide although obviously when someone works in education they should keep to professional boundaries.

Yep true and in terms of working in education, yes most definitely want to maintain professionalism. That's why it bothers me when I see someone who is over 21 and has a friend who is 17. It wouldn't fly very well in the education field but honestly, outside of education, not much can be done. As you mentioned, it's their choice.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I don't think it's weird at all. Some 20 year olds are more ''mature'' and sensitive to others (in a ''good'' way) than some 50 year olds, probably. If someone is 17 though, with a 10 year age gap as you mentioned, that is not ideal, and maybe weird, imo.

Yeah I agree. Got that right.

[birdcrazy]

My late husband was 21 years older than me... It was a legal relationship but well people always thought he was my dad... If I find another relationship I want someone that is closer in age.

[divine1966]

Are you concerned about this person befriending a 17 year old (a minor) or you in general think there’s something weird with grown up people befriending others of different ages? Those are two very different scenarios

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by birdcrazy

My late husband was 21 years older than me... It was a legal relationship but well people always thought he was my dad... If I find another relationship I want someone that is closer in age.

I think romantic relationships and friendships although have similarities aren’t exactly the same things. I have zero issues with having much older friend (we share a hobby) however I’d not want to have 77 year old husband. It’s my parents age. Not saying it’s weird. Just not something I’d consider

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by birdcrazy

My late husband was 21 years older than me... It was a legal relationship but well people always thought he was my dad... If I find another relationship I want someone that is closer in age.

Yeah I totally get that.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I think romantic relationships and friendships although have similarities aren’t exactly the same things. I have zero issues with having much older friend (we share a hobby) however I’d not want to have 77 year old husband. It’s my parents age. Not saying it’s weird. Just not something I’d consider

I agree.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Are you concerned about this person befriending a 17 year old (a minor) or you in general think there’s something weird with grown up people befriending others of different ages? Those are two very different scenarios

This was more out of general curiosity. I've talked about this before with other people and was just curious about what you guys thought. Some people find it weird, others don't. As with the person befriending a 17 year old, I am not concerned. I find it weird but the person is not working in a school. That would be major problems. I would just hope she doesn't get caught up in unnecessary high school drama when she is close to 30, and also would ask for advice from a 17 year old too. Just not necessary but that's not my choice to make.

[MsLady]

I think once you become a certain age, it all becomes a blurr. We are people who have something in common. There's a definite distinction between minors and adults though.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by MsLady

I think once you become a certain age, it all becomes a blurr. We are people who have something in common. There's a definite distinction between minors and adults though.

Yep I totally agree.

[Rive.]

It is not okay if one is a child/minor.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Rive.

It is not okay if one is a child/minor.

Yeah that's when it gets weird. And even worse if it happens in the education field. Luckily this is not in the education field but it still looks weird.

[SorryShaped]

I've usually been friends with older people more than any my age. No biggie to me.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

I've usually been friends with older people more than any my age. No biggie to me.

Oh okay cool.