[Jayme]

I am struggling in my relationship with my husband. He is getting ready to be deployed for 2 years and we have been battling for about month. Neither of us has a clue what we are fighting about, but we are constantly biting each others heads off. Also, I am very much in touch with my emotions and he isn't, so therefore, I am always talking about how the girls and I are going to survive without him and how sad it will be and all of the stuff involved, and his way out of it is simply to say he doesn't want to talk about it. He says that he just wants to go over there, do his job and then come home to us. What if he doesn't come home? My girls are a nervous wreck at home and I am partly to blame. I am so unsure what to do to make him be honest about what he is feeling. He says he isn't sad at all.

[gloria]

The military has special programs (support) for families of deployed members.
Please make sure you hook up with them, the stress in your relationship may be caused by the anticipation of his departure, or maybe not, but hook up with them. It really helps a lot.

gab

[Jayme]

I am aware of the Family Support Groups out there. I am the Leader of our FRG for his unit (ironic right?) He is the manly man that can't (or won't) admit to having communication problem. I am major stressed and possibly in need of medication. The last thing I want to do is have the last few days of our time together to be fighting. Especially for the kids sake. I totally see where he is coming from, but I guess I can't force him to talk to us.

Jayme Newton

[gloria]

that doesn't make you unvulnerable, we all suffer from the same stuff

gab

[Jayme]

Absolutely, but I have always been the one to hold it all together and my kids think that I am losing it. I am not even sure how to tell them to feel right now. He is walking around making us feel like we are crazy for crying or being scared. Do you suppose that he truely feels like we do, but can't express it for fear it is a weakness?

Jayme Newton

[gloria]

I think so, it is a "man" thing, specially for those in the military (my husband was in the Navy, I remember the days, sadness=weakness, not allowed in the military, you know)

gab

[Jayme]

Yeah. That is it exactly. I guess I am more sad for my kids. They deserve to really have emotions and not feel guilty about it. I am a big girl and will survive. Thanks for the talk. Sometimes that is all a girl needs.

Jayme Newton

Jayme,
1st of all, thank you so much! I am so grateful for those whome are serving our country right now; my little brother left for Fallujah last Sunday--he has a wife, and two precious little children. Your communication problems are probably just the stress of his deployment. Though it must be tough, don't over-analyze it too much.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Thanks for yours/his service.
Jon