[beautifullife1]

Im super confused and i guess i could need some perspective on this one.

Im seeing someone for about 6 months now. In the beginning we had a Mutual understanding, much fun together, same interests, cooking, taking walks enjoying each others Company, got lot of compliments, felt understood and liked.

After a while i realised there are some red flaggs, like how he was torwards other people, totally other person than when we were alone.

A few weeks ago our relationship made a super big change, out of nowhere, no warning, nothing.
He ignored my texts, replied Days later and Sayed he did not see it and that im nagging. He kind of totally lost interest in me, no attention or affection anymore. A week ago i was the best and kindest woman in the World according to him. When i adressed those issues i had or the things i felt he told me that im causing drama and that is all just in my head. or when i named a certain feeling he said no you dont feel that, its that kind of feeling. he does not respect or validate my feelings at all, he makes me feel like im maybe really too much or too sensitive, but than on the other side, i just wanted to adress that i do not like how things have changed and that i wanted to know what happened. I aked him about a small amount of Money he had to pay back and he replied just that he knows, and i said, why dont you pay than? He answered in a really rde tone: Are you telling me what to do? i was so schocked.
He changed from a funny and affactionated guy to someone who just contacted me in case he needed something. So maybe this is a form of mental or emotional abuse. I tried to adress things a few times but now i gave up because it will just end in me Crying and feeling insecure and not sane and he would tell me that he does not care at all. I now ended this after weeks of this emotional roller coaster. Is it too dramatc or sensitive to ask someone several times where this changed behavious is coming from? When i ended this and explained myself, that i even feel scared about certain things he said again that im so dramatc and that those things are only in my head and how im supposed to really feel and so on. And now i feel a bit insane and even abused in a way, ashamed that i even tried to communicate, i adressed those things so kind and polite and still, this outcome. i left him but now he made me feel he did mot want this drama anyway. im confused
so im wondering what your thoughts are about that. Thanks in advance!

[Open Eyes]

Hi beautifullife as I mentioned in your other thread this guy is clearly unhealthy for you and yes he is showing you important red flags that he doesn’t care about how you feel. My advice is to throw this fish back out and find another one that will treat you better. Don’t waste your time with this one.

[MsLady]

It's really unfortunate he made you feel this way. There's definite concerning red flags here. The good news is, he's now out of the picture. The problem is HIM, not you. Go treat yourself to something nice to boost yourself back up. Don't put any more thought into this guy because he was clearly bad news.

There ARE nice guys out there for you.

[Have Hope]

He was the one creating the drama. He blamed you for his own actions and reactions by telling you that you're creating drama and it's all in your head. Don't let his manipulations make you believe that you were creating drama or at fault. Your questions and responses to him changing suddenly were very reasonable; his responses were manipulative and abusive. Stick to your gut feelings. Be glad to be rid of this man. He is bad news. You did yourself a huge favor by walking away.

[guy1111]

How was he different with other people? If you can identify specific behavior you don't like and how it makes you feel, you can avoid people like that in the future. Sometimes we don't know we don't like certain behavior if we're not used to it. We don't see it coming until it's too late. Then manipulators will deny it and we will feel confused.

[Rive.]

You did the right thing. He was not open to listening to you or offering emotional support... instead he invalidated and caused you pain.

It's not you who is too much or too sensitive, it's him who is 'not enough'. I say you are well rid of him.

[beautifullife1]

Hej @guy1111

Thanks for the reply!
I have one situation in my mind, when we took a walk and he was more quit this day, what is no big deal, but than we met a old friend of his and from totally quit and not very talkative he was super chatty and told this guy about that he wanted to study to become a teacher, he never ever mentioned this before to me. When I asked him about that plane he said it was just ********, a white lie to make conversation. Another red flag I guess. There were so many things. But anyway, I fee stupid that I did not put one and one together earlier. I put myself together right now and just hope for the best.
Thank you again and have a wonderful day!

[guy1111]

Ya, at first glance that sounds suspicious. Plus, you can trust your gut. If things aren't adding up and his explainations are dismissive, that also sounds suspicious. Hopefully those 6 months were a learning experience! You are worth a caring man who listens and validates your feelings.

[divine1966]

He owes you money? Hmm 6 months into knowing a person and he borrows money from her hmmm

Demand your money back and be done with him. He sounds quite nasty. Not boyfriend material