[Whatislifealready]

Hello everyone! I'm posting this because i found out my mom is having an affair with another married man and I'm asking for help on what to do. I found out that my mother was having an affair with a married man when my mother told me to delete some photos off her google photos storage on her laptop because it was full. As I was scrolling through the photos, I saw some things that made me really sad and confused(it's so bad that I cannot explain it here). Right now I have been extremely sad and confused and have no motivation to do anything at all. I also haven't told anyone which means I'm the only one who knows about this. I am also planning to tell my grandmother(my mother's mom) because I believe she knows what to do and say considering she has a deep relationship with the Lord and a close relationship with my mother, but for now, I'm keeping it to my self. I'm completely asking for help on what to do because this is extremely new to me and I am completely frustrated and I'm depleted both physically and mentally. If you have the time to explain to me what to do, it is much appreciated. Thank you.

[Raindropvampire]

I was the only one that knew that my mom was having an affair. It was horrible keeping it from my brother and father and I finally broke down and told my dad. I told my mom first that I knew and she got angry and it turned into a huge fight. In the end she left us for the new guy and things got much better for us without her around.

Unfortunately every situation is different and I can't tell you what to do. All I can say is I know how hard it is to know something like this. You have my utmost sympathy

[MsLady]

What do you think would happen if you spoke to your mom? Tell her, as you were clearing photos off her storage, you came across some questionable pictures.. then quietly listen to what she says.. and go from there? I wouldn't talk with grandma, just yet.

How old are you?

[Crazy Hitch]

There's no right or wrong answer here, you're in an extremely difficult position. Perhaps get advice from your grandma and ask her to speak to your mother.She might know how best to handle this situation.

I was going to say perhaps speak to your mother about it and tell her to tell your dad or else you will.

Your options are limited but I do think you need to speak up, to someone. And congratulations on reaching out to us. You've done the right thing and I hope we can support you in whatever you decide to do moving forward.

[divine1966]

Personally I think it’s not our business what our parents do in their private life. For all you know maybe they have open marriage or maybe your dad likes the kind of stuff. It’s no ones business. Certainly not grandmas business either

Having said that, it’s ridiculous your mom wants you to clean up storage full of inappropriate pictures. I’d tell her to never ask me to do such a thing

[MsLady]

Having said that, it’s ridiculous your mom wants you to clean up storage full of inappropriate pictures. I’d tell her to never ask me to do such a thing

Agree! Gee, mom.

[Open Eyes]

Sounds like your mother doesn’t care to respect boundaries. Not yours or caring that the man she is having an affair with is married. Selfish and self satisfying. You can’t change her and it’s not your job to do that either. Instead you are going to have to set boundaries with her.

[EagleTears]

You mention "I found out that my mother was having an affair with a married man when my mother told me to delete some photos off her google photos storage on her laptop because it was full. "

I'm starting to think that perhaps this was intentionally done. Why didn't your mother delete the unwanted photos off of her laptop herself???... instead she made you do it, and allowed you to see these questionable photos.


I'm so sorry to that you're in this difficult situation. I would sit down with both your mother and father, and have the talk.. discuss what you've observed. Show her the questionable photos to your mother, and have her explain.