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#1
Jul 24, 2020, 10:23 PM
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I feel horrible tonight... I feel defeated and humiliated. I went out on a date with this guy I met online, and near the end of the date he said, "This is a serious question: do you want to hike that?" referring to the large, rocky hiking trail in the distance. "Now?" I asked. "Sure, why not?" He answered in all seriousness. In all honesty, I didn't, because I hadn't planned for this, and I wasn't dressed for hiking-- I was wearing a flimsy top, leggings, and ballet flats... you know, for a dinner date. But, for some retarded reason, I said yes. So there I am, huffing and puffing behind this Army guy who's practically bounding up the rocks, already feeling like a total loser. We get to a climbing point where I am simply not comfortable going up any higher, and so we go down and I fall, hurting both my ankles, scraping my wrist and knee. I felt utterly humiliated and pathetic. He was very nice and helped me back down, but I don't think he'll be contacting me again. I feel awful. I ****ed up. Again. This has to be one of the worst dates I've ever been on, worse than the guy who lied about being totally bald on his profile and spent our entire date looking out the window instead of into my eyes while we talked. I really feel like there is no hope for me. Now I have an ACE bandage on one of my ankles and ice on the other, and I'm trying not to be horrifically upset as I type this. Not working though.
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 Bill3, Crazy Hitch, Travelinglady
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#2
Jul 24, 2020, 11:21 PM
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No two ways around it. That was a bummer of a date.
May have been trying to impress you or show off, as a real hiker would have noticed your footwear, and realized they weren't good for hiking. The day will come when you will laugh about it as your date from hell. Perhaps even with him. |
 Bill3
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#3
Jul 25, 2020, 08:05 AM
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Maybe I'll laugh about it eventually... but not with him. I don't blame him completely-- after all, no one forced me to go on that hike. But the fact that he kept pushing me onward during the hike and even admitted on the way down that it was harder than he had remembered shows a lack of judgment and consideration for the needs of others. No thanks.
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| Bill3
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#4
Jul 25, 2020, 08:40 AM
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That is a bummer for a date, and I am very sorry to hear that you got hurt while hiking. That does truly suck.
There is something to be learned here though. You said 'yes', despite not being properly dressed and despite not really wanting to go hiking. Did you say 'yes' because you wanted to please him? The lesson from this is to say 'no' when you really don't feel like doing something, even if it means displeasing a date. I have people pleasing tendencies myself, so I am not cutting you down for it. I am simply pointing out something valuable you can learn from this. I have learned the hard way that I don't have to say 'yes' when I really mean 'no'. The other aspect I want to point out is that I find it very odd that he asked you to hike when clearly you were not dressed OR prepared for it. A thoughtful date would prepare you ahead of time and would ask ahead of time rather than on a spur of the moment and while under pressure on a first date. So there's that to consider too. I hope your ankles heal up soon.... hugs to you.
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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#5
Jul 25, 2020, 09:07 AM
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Indigo, don't beat yourself up about this date. Truth is you just learned some things, about this guy and about yourself.
He was thinking more about himself when he mentioned hiking up that steep terrain. Yes, he should have realized you were not really dressed properly to go along with that. And you wanted to go for it and please him even though you were not dressed properly. You should have instead answered that you would love to try it another time when you have the right clothes on to do so. Chances are he is probably a bit embarrassed as well and may avoid you because of that. However, he also may surprise you and admit it was wrong of him to expect you to do that hike in that you were not dressed properly. We can all make dumb mistakes, it's not the end of the world, lesson learned. |
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#6
Jul 25, 2020, 10:09 AM
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The elephant in the room? You may need to go to Urgent Care for your injuries.
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#7
Jul 25, 2020, 11:28 AM
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Hiking on a first date is fine if it’s discussed ahead of time and both parties are prepared for it. I had some bizarre first dates in life and men were very surprised I wasn’t interested in a second date every single time. I wonder if this guy thinks is it was an awesome first date too.
I agree with una. Seeing a doctor might be a good idea if it’s not getting better soon |
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#8
Jul 25, 2020, 11:57 AM
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Was your date dressed for hiking??
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#9
Jul 25, 2020, 12:22 PM
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Quote:
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| LilyMop, unaluna
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#10
Jul 25, 2020, 12:38 PM
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I want a man who will bring me tampons, not crampons!
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| Open Eyes
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| seesaw
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#11
Jul 25, 2020, 12:41 PM
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Quote:
To the OP, if he calls to ask how your injuries are, maybe think about a second date. Sometimes people are just not really thinking. Otherwise, like others have said, you learned something about boundaries.  I hope you feel better and heal fast!
__________________
 What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
| unaluna
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#12
Jul 25, 2020, 02:30 PM
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Thanks for the feedback everyone...and yes, I shouldn't have agreed to do it in the first place... Which I did admit to him as we were going back down. My ankles are feeling better, I'm icing them, keeping them elevated, taking Aleve, etc. He was dressed in a t-shirt, cargo shorts and sandals. So not really dressed for a dinner date at all. I don't want to talk to him again even if he does text me eventually. This date was a disaster and I don't even want to think about it. I just want to forget it.
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| Bill3, Have Hope, Open Eyes, seesaw, unaluna
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| seesaw, unaluna
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#13
Jul 25, 2020, 02:54 PM
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Quote:
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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