The abusive alcoholic

Its been a while since i’ve been here but i need help. Im suffering as the guy i’ve been with for a year has been awful to me. Im embarrassed and ashamed. He is a functioning narcissistic alcoholic who refuses to acknowledge it. He says he drinks to relax. Well large bottles of straight liquor a day to me is not relaxing as one glass of wine is. He”s an angry drunk too. He refuses to spend time with me now, has poor hygiene won’t tend to his foot odor, won’t brush his teeth, spends only about 2 minutes in shower so he never really smells good, has verbally abused me, taken food out of my hand and thrown it to the floor and expected me to eat it he felt it was ok to eat it since it was still in a box. Im always to blame for everything. He said I was breaking him financially when he has never paid a bill of mine or bought me anything and we don’t Go anywhere so how is it me!?!? He said I was weak and fake when he’s the alcoholic (weak) and lied about how he wanted to do this and do that for me in the beginning only to never do anything but degrade me. He criticizes my food and praises the food of other mens wives. And honestly some of there food was bland. The gifts ive gotten him for birthday and Xmas were not worn because he said he already had clothes or he would question the item and say what made you buy that. So he was ungrateful as well. He got mad once because i never took him to meet any family other than my parents yet he’s always too drunk or smelly or working so how could i!??! I think he’s even gone to work after drinking because now he can’t operate the company machines anymore because they’ve been getting damaged. He got defensive with his boss about that and i think he’s guilty of damaging the machines. Typing this i see I have endured a lot and now its like i have to beg him for time when I really should be glad he doesn’t wanna be around but im at battle with myself and ashamed for allowing this and just wish he would see the person i am and have been to him. I want to block him without saying why i just want to be done without the feelings and tears. Who i met last year is noT who he is today so i feel like he was the fake one.