[justneedtotalk76]

Weird topic I know, but my wife gets mad at me because of involuntary hypnic jerks that I experience at night. We have the same routine every night. We get our 2 year old daughter to sleep between 8:30 and 9:30 then we go lay in our bed and watch tv. Laying there in the dark watching a show that I really don't enjoy my body starts to drift off, then I jerk awake. It makes her furious like to the point where she shut the tv off last night, went to the other side of the bed and told me not to touch her. When I tried to talk to her she screamed at me.

I feel like we could do something else at night to help keep me awake. Like play a card game, sit outside, talk. I can't help it that I am tired and laying in bed makes me drift off. I have never heard anything as silly as someone getting mad about an involuntary twitch.

She is diagnosed at bi-polar with ptsd and has a very short fuse. I feel like all I do is aggravate her to the point I am always feeling anxious. She won't take any meds, so won't talk to me, she won't do couples therapy anymore. She blows up and then stonewalls me for a day or two. I feel so alone.

[Open Eyes]

PTSD is tough in that the individual is often stuck in the fight/flight mode which makes them very sensitive the way you describe. Honestly, she should look into taking an antidepressant as often that can bring her some relief. Yet, it takes a good three weeks for her to notice the difference where she is less hypervigilant. PTSD tends to be a constant battle with self as the affects of ptsd are intrusive and can be exhausting. I too have ptsd and what you describe would bother me too. Yet, I would not keep insisting you lay there quietly when it clearly makes you drift off and experience that period of half asleep and jerking awake which is normal. You may need to consider setting up twin beds in your room to sleep. Sometimes it just doesn't work out well to sleep together in the same bed.

[justneedtotalk76]

I understand that it really bothers her. She said it makes her feel anxiety. I don't want to make her feel that way, but at the same time I don't know how to make myself not do it. I can't lay there after 9:00 without dozing off. I just want to do more things instead of watching tv quietly every night. I have anxiety now laying down at night because I know it's going to happen.

[divine1966]

Your wife’s behavior is extreme.

But I concerned about other stuff...

I’d check with your doctor about your breathing. You might need to see respiratory specialist. “Jerk waking up/twitching”might be a sign of a trouble breathing in your sleep, my husband has central sleep apnea associated with Tourette’s. If he doses off without bi pap, he immediately wakes up with a twitch. He doesn’t do it often because he knows better. According to his respiratory doctor he could pretty much pass away at night or during nap if he doesn’t wear bi pap. His body doesn’t remember to send a signal to breath

Now as about tv. If you want to sleep and she wants to watch tv, she should watch it on a tablet/iPad with headphones or read ebooks. That’s what we do if one of us wants to sleep and the other is still wide awake. We don’t keep tv in the bedroom, only in a living room. Individual devices work just fine in the bedroom for those occasions

[Travelinglady]

I'm wondering if you've talked to your doctor about these jerks. I get restless legs and Xanax helps me. It could be a side effect of some med you take, I'm thinking--or maybe, just maybe something like tardive diskinesia. (Sp) At any rate, I know you can't help it. Perhaps the two of you should sleep in different beds in the meantime.

[guy1111]

I twitch in my sleep, snore, and I'M the one with PTSD! My poor wife. Ha ha. Sorry, just thought I'd put a little humor in here.

All seriousness, I can see how this would give you anxiety. I'm sorry that you have to endure angry outbursts over something you can't control. That is never ok.

Sounds like she needs to deal with her anger issues. My wife texts in bed and the little tapping sounds drive me nuts, but I find healthy ways to deal with it and not take it out on her.

Maybe you could see if she will meet you in the middle. You could get some help for your twitches and she could get some help with anger.

[Prycejosh1987]

I guess you could sleep in a different bed or different room until you heal.

[Prycejosh1987]

It can be frustrating when someone does irritating things, i know you cant help it. You may need to consider options and alternatives that will make you and your wife happy separately and together as a couple. Your wife married you for a reason.