Why do some people expect you to always be happy no matter what?

I think it’s unrealistic & impossible to be truly happy all the time. We all have bad days & bad moods here & there.

What I don’t understand is why some people expect other people to always be happy & positive all the time.

I’ve known a few people including my dad who’ll change the subject or ignore & dismiss any complaints of mine most of the time.

I have even known people who don’t even watch the news since it’s to depressing. I feel that I have been rejected by a few people for being to ‘negative’ according to them.

One time I lost a good job since I didn’t pass a test & this former friend didn’t want to hear about it & she then started making stupid jokes.

I felt very upset & I felt that her behavior was rude, dismissive, disrespectful, & cold. She thought of me as being to ‘whiny’ at times.

She told me that people don’t want to hear about other people’s problems. Aren’t friends supposed to offer support at times?

I have issues with depression & anxiety & she’d constantly tell me that I have nothing to be depressed about & that other people have it worse than me. That’s true, but I can’t just fake being happy.

Why do some people have a very strong aversion to anything or anyone they perceive as being ‘negative’?

It’s very invalidating to have someone tell you that you have nothing to be deprecated about. Who the f**k are they to tell you how you’re supposed to feel?

I think it’s because everyone has their own issues so when it comes to other people they either a.) find comfort in helping someone else with their issues or b.) would rather avoid the negativity all together and use your interaction as a distraction from their issues.
The second theory is that people just genuinely don’t have empathy or sympathy... some people just don’t know what to do or say when someones crying.. some people don’t know the right words to say when someone dies... so when bad things happen, you’re not always sure what to say or do so they prefer changing the subject or joking as a way of dealing with it. It comes off as insensitive but the person may genuinely not know how to handle the situation because they’ve never been there or because they just dont have the words. Theory three is that some people are just selfish. Ive had people in the past ask why im so negative all the time when i share my issues yet when they break up with their bf/gf, get in a fight with a family member, run into work or money troubles, guess who they pick up the phone and vent to? Me.....relationships are give and take no matter what kind of relationship and some people would rather take advice left and right but cant be bothered to offer you any comfort or support..... you just have to find the true souls who wont invalidate your feelings, who don’t dismiss you, who could hear you rant about the same things 100x and would still give you a hug. You deserve support. 100%

I guess for me I have hard time listening to people saying how hard life is for them. It's probably because I'm a highly sensitive person plus I feel like I'm empathetic (feeling their pain a lot). There had been times when someone tells me about how hard something is and then I don't have anything to say back. Because I had not experienced what they are feeling.

Years ago I had a good friend. In fact he seemed like a "soul mate" for me. Lots of times, as I recall, he would complain about something that would happen to him or what was said to him. I had agreed with him a lot and felt like I had appreciated what he had to tell me. I would reply back to him saying that I felt the same way or experienced the very same thing. Perhaps him complaining to me was what made me feel like I could bond with him.

I feel like I'm not a "happy-all-of-the-time" kind of person myself. And I've had times when I would say something to someone about how I feel and they would just invalidate me. I would never want to invalidate anyone's bad feelings.

I think that you deserve support, not invalidation. Comparing people's pain is.. not helpful.

Because it makes them uncomfortable to deal with their own unhappy feelings. Easier to pretend all is happy and jolly all around.

I think part of the problem is people, in our culture at least, aren’t taught how to process their negative feelings. We would be so much more resilient and able to help others if they needed it.
I’m sorry you were invalidated by your friend. It’s disappointing that someone you thought had your back didn’t want to listen to you.

People that haven't had depression and anxiety just can't understand. That's only my experience through life.

I've noticed the 'always be happy' at my workplace. We have troubling issues at our company, but managers and my coworkers want to hear everything is going great. I've tried to start discussions of the issues, but get silence. We've had major issues (some that affected our customers negatively) and internally, the company almost never speaks of the problems. It troubles me.

Thats how my last job was. I had to quit because it got so bad and I was literally sending email and text after text and being ignored.

I ran across this post from the author Susan David on social media and thought of this thread:

The worst is when people think you should be happy when you're depressed. "You have nothing tobe depressed about!

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I agree with what you said. It sure is invalidating!

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You're probably right about what you said. Thanks for the insight. Some people probably don't care or they don't have any empathy or sympathy in them, etc....

Thanks for your kind words.

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That's probably part of the problem, some people just don't know how to respond to certain things. Thanks for sharing your insight and experience.

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That's true, I sure do need support! That's why I'm here. Thankfully I'm getting it here. And telling me that other people have it worse is just dismissive and invalidating.

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Maybe. But then it's hypocritical of them to vent to me about their frustrations and expect me to care about how they feel. Maybe some people only care about their own feelings.

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You're probably right about that. I'm no longer friends with that woman. I can't be friends with rude insensitive people who don't care about my feelings.

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You're right about that. My former friend always told me that I have nothing to be depressed about and that other people had is worse than me all the time.

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I'm sorry to hear that. They sound like they're scared of "rocking the boat' or actually trying to do what it takes to do a better job. Hopefully they'll come around sooner or later.

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Sorry to hear that. I was also mostly ignored when I complained about bullying and harassment at work at a few places. I had to quit a few jobs because of that.

It depends how you come across. Your negative mindset could be overbearing, or it could be irritation. Its perfectly normal to have bad days and not feel good.

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I don't have a negative mindset usually. I just don't go around pretending to be happy or pretend to smile and be social when I'm not feeling good. I'm a terrible actress. I usually just keep to myself during those times and vent only to a few trusted people once in awhile and on here these days.

Almost everyday i try to make happy face ..not allowed to be angry or sad ..