How do you get through NO CONTACT?

How do you get past the NO CONTACT anxiety ?? I want to feel better..I guarantee you he isn’t losing sleep! I have cbd to help me sleep, but I wake up and my heart is racing from the anxiety. I’m on meds too. I know I did the right thing, my friends who have boyfriends enjoy their weekend and do things together..I feel a little depressed right now. Could Kick myself for letting it go this long! Every time I would plan on moving on, he would do something and I would be fooled thinking things would change, but then I just fooled myself..I’m not mad at him for not having romantic feelings but he did have me as a space filler especially during this pandemic. He said things he knew would keep me around..I should have been smarter and known better..but I kept hoping for nothing. I really wish I would have set boundaries.

You can’t change the past. Don’t worry about what happened before

Just get yourself busy even if with household tasks or hobbies.

I’d not worry about other women enjoying their relationships. You don’t know that. For all you know they might envy you having all this freedom, they might not be as happy as you think they are. Don’t worry about them

yes, been keeping busy but my mind still wanders. I had to block him on my other IG because I know myself and I don’t want to torture myself.

As time goes on and you find other interests, my expectation is the current anxiety will fade and you will begin to cherish your freedom from him.

I think you will begin to appreciate your freedom from him, as it sounds as if he used you which is not cool.

Yes, he is a big time user

A few suggestions to get through NO CONTACT:

Journal -- write him pretend letters and let him have it -- tell him what a huge a-hole he is for how poorly he treated you... .let it all fly and don't hold back. But don't send. Just keep these in a private place like in a journal.

Make two lists: one list which details every single thing he did that was hurtful, neglectful and disrespectful. Then make a second list of all the things you want, need and seek in a relationship -- compare the two lists. You will see how far he falls short.

Any time you want to cave and contact him OR look him up again, review your two lists.

Sing your praises that you are no longer allowing yourself to be mistreated. And exorcize him as you would a demon.

Block-block-block. Do not be tempted to unblock and check.

You need to learn how to focus more on your own value and how your worth and personal value is more important than exposing yourself to someone who clearly has no respect or ability to value you. This type of person tends to leave everyone that gets involved with him broken. You are capable of loving and caring, clearly he isn't. You did not fail him, he failed you!

Distract yourself.
Retrain your brain: when you want to contact him on social media immediately do something else. Repeat this reconditioning behavior until it becomes automatic.

Time is the only thing that will heal your anxiety about your breakup. And, it's what you do with that time, that speeds up your healing process, or slows you down.

You have to go through the whole emotional process of your breakup. You can't just speed dial it to "healing" and be over him. Our human physiology won't allow that. You will go through lots of emotional ups and downs until you reach the point where thinking about him doesn't trigger your desire to contact him. Then, you'll get to the point where you don't even think about him.

It sounds like you may need to move onto the next person. If it doesnt work out there are always new opportunities available in everything, including love.

some good advice I had a while ago was "you just have to go through it." I mean, it hurts like hell......but when I realized I didn't NEED to do anything......just be with myself. it took some weight off....

Delete them from your contacts so you are not tempted to contact them again, as well as not letting them contact you. Reframe what you thought the relationship was to what you now understand it to be. Know you are doing what’s best for you. Distract yourself with new, better experiences.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TishaBuv Delete them from your contacts so you are not tempted to contact them again, as well as not letting them contact you. Reframe what you thought the relationship was to what you now understand it to be. Know you are doing what’s best for you. Distract yourself with new, better experiences.

Yes! Block, delete and hide anything from this person.

Going through same thing hun, some days are better than others. Feel free to msg me if you need support, this is the hardest thing ever...

Use a middle man. That knows you and the other person.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prycejosh1987 Use a middle man. That knows you and the other person.

for what purpose?