I wanna be a better man for her

Hi I have an issue I started dating a girl I fell in love with 5 years ago I got out of a serious relationship with another girl of 4 years but I realized that I wanted the other girl more I waited till I was ready to be with her and it was going good for the first little bit but then I started trying to change her and wasn’t giving her the support she needed like not being a shoulder for her to cry on all I want to do is be the man she deserves but I feel I’m to self absorbed and scared of being hurt again can anyone give me help on what I should do

How old are you?

I will say....showering someone with your love can come across as smothering & a huge turnoff especially if she is rather independent.

Proving yourself just doesn't work. If you can't win her by being yourself there is no way you can prove anything.

That is exactly why I selected you need more help on your poll. You need to learn how to have relationships & truly connect with others. Everything else falls into place when you truly connect with someone

I think you need more help. Also if you give us a bit more information here, we will be able to provide more detailed responses. I also think that being yourself is the only way to ''win'' her. I am doubtful if showering her with more attention will help. But as I really do not know much at all about you I can't be completely sure. I have no idea of her personality. I'd be interested to know more

You do not want to be too loving, that will cause her to feel something is wrong, You should prove your love for her from time to time, women naturally like bad boys and are attracted to them. I am not saying be a bad boy, just do the right things at a the right time. The best part of men women like is when the man is protective of her and is very independent.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prycejosh1987 You do not want to be too loving, that will cause her to feel something is wrong, You should prove your love for her from time to time, women naturally like bad boys and are attracted to them. I am not saying be a bad boy, just do the right things at a the right time. The best part of men women like is when the man is protective of her and is very independent.

Hey @Prycejosh1987
Dont you feel like this is a bit sexist?

I can assure you most women do not like bad boys at all. And one can’t possibly be “too” loving.

What do you base your advice on? Research? Personal opinion? Experience?

Experience. Being attention junky who crossed the line every chance he got I can tell you that women like bad boys a lot. By "like" I mean attraction and attention. You'd be amazed how some of them responded to me even with their partners being around. **

* - I'm talking about women 22-35 years old.
*- I'm not talking about relationship-like kind of situation, just social encounters.

Like I said yes there are men and women who are attracted to trouble and are drawn to bad treatment, sadly it’s stemming from childhood and the way they were brought up. Therapy is a good first step in combating this unhealthy attraction

NONE of that means that it is a good advice to tell men to treat women badly because “that’s what women like”.

That depends on what do you mean by "treating women badly". I've seen confident douche...gs with nothing to offer winning over smart, attractive girls way too many times... And there was always that decent guy standing in the corner, watching.

Point being, I think people (especially women) love what's interesting more than anything else. Being safe and respected has very little to do with the thrill.

Yes sadly people are often drawn to bad partners versus looking for nice people instead. Unhealthy patterns are common.

It doesn’t mean it’s wise to encourage people to be less loving. Not a good advice.