Social Media Posts

What's the best way to respond to a mean post on your social media? Do you stoop to that person's level? Or is it best to just delete the comment and snooze or delete/block the person?

Whenever I post something personal about myself, I have this one acquaintance who will go out of their way to post something very snarky in response. I really want to confront this person about their behavior. Because I don't know why they are being so mean.

Part of me feels like it would be a waste of time to confront them b/c they clearly don't like me (per their snarky posts), so confronting them wouldn't change their behavior.

Anyone deal with this type of behavior? We're not great friends, just acquaintances.

If it happens every time you post something personal I would probably block them permanently.

Or confronting them if you are curious as to why they are mean in this way. It does seem that they either don't like you or have picked you as someone they want to get a reaction from.

Thanks Fuzzy.

I messaged the person to ask them about their most recent snarky comment. They responded that I was just overreacting (which I wasn't since its been a pattern for nearly a year) and said I couldn't take a joke.

I just deleted their profile. What a waste of my time. Why do people act this way anyway? Obviously, they posted snarky comments to try to get a reaction from me. Don't they have anything better to do?

Do not respond or message unless you feel its harrassment that you may report to the police. If that is the case only once tell that person to stop harassing you or you will go to the police. Block them. Its goading and tempting to get into it on social media but then your business is out for your friends to see. Its also tempting to message them and argue but it isnt worth it. If they were a friend they wouldnt do that to you. I regularly purge friends that either argue with me or arent really people I would want to talk to. In fact i have about 80 friends and I only have people I would actually speak to in real life. Block them.

Do not respond, it does take you down to their level. Then block them. It may be harsh, but they are feeding off your continued posting. Today, for the first time ever, I've blocked someone from my e-mail. Decided I didn't want any more contact. It's given closure, although there are other ways I can be contacted (not social media).

No one should have to put up with this in a so-called friendship. These people are cowards and need to confront their issues. Rant over!

I agree:

1. They post snarky messages on my FB to goad me.
2. It's tempting to argue in public w/them on my thread but then all my FB friends would see this happening.
3. It's not worth messaging the person to find out why they're acting like such mean jerks to me posting snarky messages.
4. Real friends won't post snarky messages on my FB posts to get a negative reaction from me. Real friends don't do that.
5. Responding to snarky FB posts takes me down to the person's level. It won't change the fact that for whatever reason, this person doesn't like me but isn't emotionally intelligent enough to tell me that they don't like me or why. That would just solve all the snarkiness wouldn't it? Tell me if I wrote something to them or said something to them that hurt their feelings, so that I could apologize. I am not the type of person who is snarky. I want to know if I hurt someone's feelings so I can apologize.
6. It's perfectly reasonable and healthy to delete and block someone on FB who consistently posts snarky messages bc their agenda is to embarrass me on my own FB wall for all my friends to see.
7. IF they harass me, I can contact the police and file a report.

I just wish that people could act like adults with me, and tell me "Hey, Motts, you hurt my feelings when you did/said a,b,c.." or "I'm upset with you because of a,b,c..." I don't get it. I must attract these people with poor boundaries or I ignore the red flags in the friendship, or I don't know what. I just assume that once you become an adult, you can express how you feel to someone else, esp. if you don't like them instead of acting out, by posting snarky messages on social media. It's just so dumb and so immature. And this person went to a top 10 ivy league school, if you can believe that! They have several masters degrees! And THIS is how they behave on social media. I mean, Christ! WTF!

Deleted the comment. Block the person. Report the person but don't let them know they been reported. Stay safe.

Great advice. I wish I did that two year ago.

I wish that I had that advice four years ago.

It's often this type that can be the most offensive and entitled and judgemental.

It's often the case when teachers sit in their ivory towers believing that just because they learned how to read and learn about things others achieved that they are intelligent. Truth is, while they may have read about and share that with others, it doesn't mean they can apply and achieve the things they read about that others achieved. This is one of the themes to the movie "Good Will Hunting".

Block them or put them on ignore. Something is missing in their own lives. Typically people who look for fights on social media or other online venues are deeply dissatisfied with their own lives, so they project their own misery and unhappiness on anyone who’d listen. Don’t waste your time on them, unless you are obligated to interact with them in real life, cut them off. They are a waste of your precious time.

Good post

I did finally put the person on block after I deleted their Facebook profile and deleted them from my cellphone and email. I agree with you divine1966 that this person was probably projecting their misery about their own life, on to me, on my Facebook wall, to embarrass me for attention, to get satisfaction. This person is 55 years old too. It's shocking to me. I am so naive. I am nearly 50 years old and would never bully someone in real life or online.

It makes me feel more lonely to realize that I have the "wrong" types of people in my life and I'm nearly 50. I like using FB to post stories from other pages I belong to. I rarely post personal posts and I never post selfies either.

I find that ''adult'' bullies are... @divine1966 described the phenomenon accurately. It's very sad.

An example of this person's posts on my FB (their snarky tone):

I posted a FB status about a nickname I was given at a local bird store, "Ms. Audobon." I thought it was great and was feeling proud about it.

This person was very snarky, posting this message on my FB wall:

"While my mother was waiting in line outside the movie theater in NYC in the summertime, a pigeon pooped on her head."

Talk about snarky. Right?! Instead of something fun or supportive like, "Oh, that's a cute nickname and suits you since you love birds!" Does that make sense? Their response was dismissive and mean.

Could it be that she just thought of funny bird story and didn’t mean any offense? I like to tell the story how pigeon pooped on my head in Paris. My daughter and I sat under the tree on this beautiful boulevard very much enjoying ourselves and then we heard this splash sound and it was literally the largest pile of bird poop, then my daughter tried to wipe it off using a napkin and bottle of water and ended smearing it all over my hair. No disrespect to bird lovers. Just funny story? My dad is big bird lover, he thinks this story is funny too.

My best friend is very much dog lover but I think it’s ok to tell a story how my brother went looking for his tennis ball that fell in the bushes and he grab a handful of dog poop. She isn’t offended because she herself stepped into her own dog poop in her own yard! My best friend dislikes birds and is scared of them. She makes jokes about birds all the time. Yet others like birds. It’s ok though.

I mean these are stupid poop stories and there’s nothing meaningful or deep about them but they don’t necessarily mean to offend. Maybe it’s annoying when the timing is wrong? How well do you know this person? Do you communicate outside of Facebook? If she told this story face to face would her voice sound snarky? There’s a lot of miscommunication online. Social media is really so drama and arguments inducing and lately there is a lot of hate so there is that.

I don’t know this person so I believe that if you say she is mean, of course she is mean. But there must be more than her telling stupid jokes

No because her anecdote was meant to poke fun at me. You are trying to discredit me, and minimize my thoughts and feelings about this person which is pretty low of you to do. And nice try at trying to twist and reframe my situation with your friendship story that has zero to do with me.

You and I clearly have a different set of values where friendship is concerned. Consider me offended by your attempt to invalidate my feelings the way that you are.

You gaslighting me in my own thread is exactly the type of behavior I won't tolerate. From anyone.

I was just trying to understand what was the point of her joke. Sorry if I offended you.

I think I just misunderstood the story about bird pooping. If she is mean and snarky and makes fun of you and means it (not offended you by accident), I’d say she isn’t your friend. I’d not be friends with her.

I don’t understand friendship like that. We really might have different values about friendships. I am not friends with anyone who is mean and snarky and makes fun of me. I think it’s a social media kind of thing. I don’t understand social media friendships. People are either my friends or they aren’t.

That’s why I originally suggested to block her. But then since you referred to her as someone you know (a friend?) not just random person I tried to give her benefit of the doubt. Sorry. Clearly she isn’t a friend.

Being social media friends with people who really aren’t friends is not my cup of tea. That’s maybe where our misunderstanding on this thread comes from. Again my apologies.

You did discredit and undermine my feelings. Here is what you said:

First, no, you don't know this person yet you are defending her with your statement. Then you discredit me, when you say, "Of course she is mean but.." and "there must be more..." that is discrediting me. It is. You can't deny that. Because that is exactly what it is.

Then you proceeded to tell me that my reaction to her FB post was wrong, when you wrote this:

A NORMAL response would be to agree with the storeclerk's nickname for me, or comment on how cute or accurate it is. But to blatantly mock me telling a story about a bird that pooped on her mom's head?

And here you are again, gaslighting me in my own thread, telling me I'm wrong, when you write this:


Your whole post just wreaks of gaslighting. There's nothing actually empathetic in it for me or my situation. You just try to deflect by making statements about social media and friendships to justify your gaslighting. There is no misunderstanding here. There is only your gaslighting me. Which you refuse to acknowledge.

Maybe you can gaslight everyone else on your life or here on PC, but not with me. It won't work.

I'm putting you on ignore now, b/c you clearly refuse to take any responsibility for the way you tried to defend this person, tell me I'm wrong, and then you apology for how I feel - which is not actually an apology it's a deflection tactic - not for the way you actually treated me.

I have unfriended several who are just acquaintences (friends of friends) who have gotten on my last nerve & I have just unfollowed friends I just don't want to see their posts (good way to disconnect & still stay friends without causing hard feelings.

I am at a low tolerance for crap in my life lately & just don't even give those choices a second guess now. Puts me in control of what I am willing to deal with