Being Ghosted By a Friend

One issue with me is that I have a history of certain friends back stabbing me, ghosting me, not trying to resolve issues in a mature way. I'm the type of person who always tries to be there for my friends, not make waves, I generally avoid conflict. But I've had some toxic friendships before, which has affected my trust. Now that I have a couple of what seems to be healthy friendships, I really hope that will stay.

I have very few friends, I'm introverted, often feel misunderstood. So when I do connect with someone, I try to do everything I can to hold onto the friendship and really value it. I reached out to one of my best friends a week ago by text, haven't heard back from her, which is rare. I've been very worried that I did something to upset her and keep thinking back to see if there's anything at all that I could have done wrong. Just sent her a text wishing her a Happy Thanksgiving and said I hope everything's okay. Then there was one of those automated texts sent when someone has it set up that they are driving. But if I don't hear from her, I'm going to really think the worst. If I lose her, I hardly have anyone left.

This might sound silly or overblown, but to me, it is big deal when I sense a change in someone's behavior or if they don't respond to me, because I feel terrible about myself. I don't contact friends constantly or text them my problems all the time, so I don't see the issue being that I drain them.

How do I cope with these feelings? And if she did in fact ghost me, how do I move forward?

There could be many other reasons she has not gotten back to you.

In terms of coping if your worst case scenario happens, how did you cope before?

If she doesn't get back to u in a couple days you could try calling her. Perhaps she's stressed or forgot.

Don’t assume it’s you or anything you did wrong. It may be something your friend is dealing with where she is very busy.

I went through a whirlwind of emotions when this has happened in the past. Anger, self-blame, issues with self-esteem. I've reached acceptance with time. But it subconsciously still affects me in relationships and my level of trust.

I am sorry this challenge caused you so much stress. Unfortunately that’s most likely coming from the history of emotional abuse you suffered from.

This means you will have to be consciously aware of how things can bother you and not assume the worst.

Just be yourself, and be prepared for your future, plan things ahead, and always speak about how you really feel when asked at least.