[galadriel]

This chap I am having toruble with online said in a quick reply to a very long email giving all my concerns that like him i had an usual view on friendships. Now I do not understand what he meant. I do wonder if in his view flirting alot with female friends is what he does and that's how he becomes their friend, I do not know. But well in the time I have known him I have not treated him as I would treat someone who is purely a friend, male friends I am careful with how much I flirt and so on. I treated him like a potential date, not a serious relationship as of yet as i needed to meet him a few times, but seeing him more on the romantic side I flirted more and put alot of energy in to being with him online, at times with friends I will give them time but if we are not online at hte same time i may not go outof my way to find them by say staying up late, instead I'd email them or text them or call them.

So I am not sure what he meant or if he really knows how I view friendship so here it is and am I unusual. In my view friendship starts with trust and respect. I am always reliable and I am loyal to my friends even those who I do not contact much. I respect them and I treat them as much as I can as I want them to treat me, basically with kindness and respect. If I ever say I will do something I will do my best to do it and if I do not explain why not. I in some way expect the same in return although I realise my standards can be quite high and so I dont expect the smae of them as I expect of myself. I iwll give alot of myself to a friend, alot of love and attention, and if they need me make sure I am there for them. If I know my friends home address I make sure to send thoughtful cards and gifts at birthdays and christmas. This is what I feel it is to be a good friend and how I view friendship.

So is this unusual or is it just he has no idea of how I view friendship and if I continue to know him I will be sure he experiences this, although for a while until trust returns he will not be treated as a good friend and I will be sure to keep away from any flirting. I will treat im as more of an acquaintance sure replying to his emails but not going the extra mile because if he does not view friendship in the same way as me and his way is a way that I find upsetting it is silly to open myself up to more harm.

"I will not fear. Fear is the Mind-killer. Fear is the little death that causes total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. Where it has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain"

[shakes]

Angemoon,
You sound like a very sweet and kind person who is very loyal to friends. Everyone has a different opinion on friendship and what constitutes a friend. So inevitably conflicts might arise. If you are happy with how you treat your friends then by all means continue.

Jessica

<font color=blue>The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain</font color=blue>
~Seether and Amy Lee

[galadriel]

I am happy with how I treat my friends its jst hard of someone says its unusual. But if everyone views friendship differently I suppose the question could more be what is usual.

"I've learnt so much from my mistakes I think I'll make another"
"Thou shall not meddle in the affairs of dragons thou are crunchy and taste good with ketchup."

[shakes]

Angemoon,
I love your dragon quote. My friend used to say that all the time and it still makes me laugh. I have to agree with you. What is normal? That is one reason that helps me not be so hard on myself.

Jessica

<font color=blue>The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain</font color=blue>
~Seether and Amy Lee

[galadriel]

Yes the dragon quote is fun. Yes realising that there is no actual normal can help me as well.

"I've learnt so much from my mistakes I think I'll make another"
"Thou shall not meddle in the affairs of dragons thou are crunchy and taste good with ketchup."