[galadriel]

I wanted to know how come although I have not met the people I know online, one guy has been messing with me claiming he'll do stuff and not doing it and then shutting me out, which ok is as Doc John says a message and with further help ok this guy is just stringing me along. So I am backing as far off from him as possible.

But the question is how come I end up getting emotionally involved with someone I have not met in reality. I tried online dating sites to meet some new people and going in I thought I'd be ok reminding myself in some ways it is all a bit false until you meet the person. But then no matter how I tried I end up with this chap sort of under my skin and well all upset. Where did I go wrong and how come do I get emotionally involved with this person I have not met.

I mean I do know other people online and I do have an emotional attachment to them, ok so far these others have not messed me about but I just worry about how I do get attached to what in someway is just words over a screen.

Also is it better if getting to know anyone to not use chat too much, I mean maybe that is one place I go wrong it can be very informal and with the almost real-time response does this lead to a greater emotional attachment, I just don’t know.

I just wish I knew why I end up with this emotional attachment.

As for the guy who’s upset me I'm backing off, I've told him how I feel but I am keeping my distance while I work myself out and yes I am reducing cyber land time as well to rest from it, but I still don’t understand why I become so emotionally attached to someone I don’t really know and I only meet in cyber-land or how I see it at the moment (as I am dealing w a bit of negative emotions) the cyber-sham?

"I will not fear. Fear is the Mind-killer. Fear is the little death that causes total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. Where it has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain"

[Sesquix]

Maybe it is is safer for you emotionally than taking the full plunge. Try to establish a meeting as soon as you know you might want to form an attachment, rather than attach to some persona fostered and built by online anonimity. That way you can tell who is real and who is just there for the ride. I know many couples who have met and married online, so it can be done. Good luck and keep your head up.

[galadriel]

I agree meeting as soon as posible is a good idea. Sometimes things just go wrong online like with this chap, he cancelled the meeting we were going to have about a month ago, i think if we had meet thinks would have been better. I have a few online friends and learning from the mistakes with this chap I am trying to be far more careful.

It is intersting that you have known of success in regards to online romance, a friend of mine was very negative about it. I would like ot meet some of the people I know online but not necessarily for romance but to see if we work well as friends, I just think it is very hard and sometimes without meaning it to I get sucked in to something and then it all goes wrong as it will do on the internet because I have not meet the person in reality. As for the chap I know I am waiting to see how he replies to my email saying exactly how I feel and if he does not reply fine.

"I've learnt so much from my mistakes I think I'll make another"
"Thou shall not meddle in the affairs of dragons thou are crunchy and taste good with ketchup."