FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Account Suspended
Member Since May 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 1,200
4 7 hugs
given |
#21
Mean thing's doesn't do it justice. He was down right disrespectful, machiavellian and abusive. I would never have put up with it, if it was not for the disarming powerful stigma I underwent from being in rehab as a teen. Still, I couldn't ignore him and I did fight back and stand up for myself. That's why we argued. I never looked at name calling as invading boundaries before.
|
Reply With Quote |
Open Eyes
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,147
(SuperPoster!)
13 21.4k hugs
given |
#22
Quote:
Truth is, human beings have been studying and trying to understand the reasons for different human behaviors for a very long time. We want to understand ourselves and our human history and there are individuals who dedicate their entire lives to learning and understanding human nature. And as we dig into human history we learn that human beings can be very violent and cruel and intrusive and controlling and destructive and preditory. Quote:
YES!! you would not have put up with that treatment you received had you been able to have more time to develop more self understanding and knowledge. Quote:
Quote:
People who behave like this are showing you WHAT THEY CANNOT DO. Believe them!! because if you don't you will end up fighting that same battle with yet another person that has the same problem. |
||||
Reply With Quote |
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,147
(SuperPoster!)
13 21.4k hugs
given |
#23
Can I ask how old you are Lynatyc?
|
Reply With Quote |
Account Suspended
Member Since May 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 1,200
4 7 hugs
given |
#24
The only thing he was truly
Right about was that I had terrible friends When I met him. My parents not far behind. He knew I had Nothing to fall back on, And at the same time He knew I was used To picking myself up again And dusting myself off. It was second nature to me. I did not depend on him. I chose to move in with him. I'll give him credit Where it was due. He realised how frustrating It was for me to Be stuck in a dead end job. He was not Fully conscious of How hard hitting his Moods and jokes were. After work every day. He would simmer down. It was predictable, And I learned how to cope with the routine. I highlight all the bad times. But I would not Have stayed if I Did not think there Was a possibility He would soften up or change. I know I'm not an angel. But I went off the Rails as a teenager. I can't be judged, On one small snippet of my life. I rebelled for a reason. |
Reply With Quote |
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,147
(SuperPoster!)
13 21.4k hugs
given |
#25
Lunatyk, how long has it been since you walked away from this individual? How long where you in a relationship with this individual?
|
Reply With Quote |
Account Suspended
Member Since May 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 1,200
4 7 hugs
given |
#26
I don't think the time scale matters.
To reach the truth, And search the soul, The journey should Be left to unfold at it's own pace. |
Reply With Quote |
Account Suspended
Member Since May 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 1,200
4 7 hugs
given |
#27
I can't breathe
I can't breathe, and I'm terrified of falling asleep To meet the shadows that've been haunting my dreams A reflection of all that I am for all to see (Shed my skin, for all to see, shed my skin) I want to drown my lungs in plastic I want to fill this gaping hole And when it all comes back to haunt me I want the pain to take its toll Another trophy for the hall of regrets Another night to forget (Another night to forget) Another consequence of actions repressed Waking up in sweats Mend me. Make me proud. Motivate me Bend me. Break me down. Suffocate me Take all of it. Take all of me Shed my skin. Take me from my home I give all I am. I give all I own Shed my skin. Steal my heart again Take from me my bones Cast me down into the depths of depravity Cast out to where the wanderers roam Praised by the angels of tragedy Loathed by the demons of hope Take all of it, everything I own (everything I own) Take all of it, come and steal my soul Shed my skin. Take me from my home I give all I am. I give all I own Shed my skin. Steal my heart again Take from me my bones Take from me my bones Take from me my bones Take from me my bones Take from me my bones |
Reply With Quote |
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,147
(SuperPoster!)
13 21.4k hugs
given |
#28
It actually does matter @Lunatyc because you are still reliving it. It’s very possible you may be struggling with ptsd. That is not a diagnosis but instead just my personal opinion of something you may be struggling with. I have this challenge myself and I think you deserve to heal instead of revisiting it so much.
|
Reply With Quote |
Account Suspended
Member Since May 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 1,200
4 7 hugs
given |
#29
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |
Open Eyes, seesaw
|
seesaw
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,147
(SuperPoster!)
13 21.4k hugs
given |
#30
The first two lines are just what I experienced myself. I too feared sleeping because I had bad dreams and I woke up very upset and often more exhausted then I felt before I slept.
It took time for me to understand why I was struggling so much. I can tell you are still living something you need to finally heal from instead of what you are doing. You deserve to heal and allow yourself to finally walk away from this challenge. ❤️ |
Reply With Quote |
Account Suspended
Member Since May 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 1,200
4 7 hugs
given |
#31
I wish I could put it
Away in a drawer. Relax and concentrate On my fictional offering's. But I see the pile Of unopened debt letters And I know that I have no option But to make a blog, Make some revenue From the advertising space. And focus on the semi-autobiographical memoir centred on Relationship with old flame And the hospital stigma. Only snippets of early memories. Not to mention I will be left on the Shelf forever if, I don't act soon after the vaccine rolls out. I can't move my Deadline any further forward. If I were a terrible person I would have published Long before now. I spent so long working On this project so I could Protect the ones I care about. Now I must care for myself. |
Reply With Quote |
Account Suspended
Member Since May 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 1,200
4 7 hugs
given |
#32
We would also have split
Up for good when He said that he would not Take a break or be friends as He would always want more. The reason was loud and clear. That put sex off the table. I grew up quickly After being in rehab. I went off the rails But I had alway's Been responsible and self sufficient. I could let the hospital Rob me of everything, Or I could look At it from a different perspective. |
Reply With Quote |
Account Suspended
Member Since May 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 1,200
4 7 hugs
given |
#33
I have a more sophisticated taste in music than 30Seconds to Mars. Metal is an acquired taste. I listened to Grunge, Nu-Metal, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Sabbath and so on in my youth. I still listen and follow bands in similar veins to August Burns Red, Parkway Drive, Amity Affliction, Breakdown of Sanity, For the Fallen Dream's, Architect's, The Devil Wears Prada, the Dillinger Escape Plan, Periphery, Underoath and Mastodon.
|
Reply With Quote |
Account Suspended
Member Since May 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 1,200
4 7 hugs
given |
#34
The post beginning: I can't breathe
That is lyric's from a metal band named: make them suffer. On borrowed time. |
Reply With Quote |
Account Suspended
Member Since May 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 1,200
4 7 hugs
given |
#35
For respect and my self-worth.
I can't separate them. Resolving this in court of law, Is the only inevitable conclusion. Last edited by Lunatyc; Jan 01, 2021 at 07:53 AM.. |
Reply With Quote |
Human
Member Since Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,348
(SuperPoster!)
10 1,272 hugs
given |
#36
__________________ What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
Reply With Quote |
Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,377
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.3k hugs
given |
#37
Quote:
__________________ |
|
Reply With Quote |
Reply |
|