Cuckolded

Yourself · Feb 13, 2021 at 04:24 PM

Nobody actually said I had to choose but I know I can’t have both... no matter what I choose someone will be disappointed and I don’t see an option where I’m actually happy.

guy1111 · Feb 14, 2021 at 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yourself

My fiancé at the time and I were trying to have a baby for years with no luck, we weren’t doing well and she cheated and got pregnant by accident with protection with one try. Now she’s having his baby but still wants to be with me and he will be in the picture to some extent..... this is my only chance for a family with the women I love but I don’t know what to do... help

Why were you trying to have a baby outside of marriage? Why would your fiancé give you details about her affair such as that she was using protection? Why would she not want you to adopt the child and completely eliminate the biological father from the picture until the child is an adult if he doesn't want the baby? Why is this your only chance to have a family with her when there are fertility enhancements and adoptions?

Yourself · Feb 14, 2021 at 01:12 PM

Well, the more I read what every one has to say I’m starting to realize I just don’t want to let go. Even if there isn’t anything there left to hold onto I wasn’t ready to lose so much of my life all at once. Every day we don’t fight is just a tease I’ll never have again... I know a lot of you are frustrated with my dilemma because apparently everybody on here and in my life I’ve talked to has said the exact same thing to me.... I’m just not ready to accept it yet I guess. Nice guys finish last and I’m the apex of pathetic in a world of users. I got lost in something I didn’t know about and now that I’m so far in and gone not only do I not know how to get out but I’m not sure if I even want to. I’ll admit, obviously, I have several mental ailments I’m dealing with that are not helping with my situation at all either. Nothing dangerous or even medicated(anymore) so it’s not an immediate issue as far as I can see.

Werewoman · Feb 14, 2021 at 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yourself

Well, the more I read what every one has to say I’m starting to realize I just don’t want to let go. Even if there isn’t anything there left to hold onto I wasn’t ready to lose so much of my life all at once. Every day we don’t fight is just a tease I’ll never have again... I know a lot of you are frustrated with my dilemma because apparently everybody on here and in my life I’ve talked to has said the exact same thing to me.... I’m just not ready to accept it yet I guess. Nice guys finish last and I’m the apex of pathetic in a world of users. I got lost in something I didn’t know about and now that I’m so far in and gone not only do I not know how to get out but I’m not sure if I even want to. I’ll admit, obviously, I have several mental ailments I’m dealing with that are not helping with my situation at all either. Nothing dangerous or even medicated(anymore) so it’s not an immediate issue as far as I can see.

For what it's worth, everyone said I shouldn't marry my husband because he was an out of control alcoholic and I had a young daughter. He was a complete wild man who had no concept of moderation and had a tendency to collect DUI's. He kept asking me to marry him and I kept telling him to get bent because I had responsibilities to my daughter and my career.
Then his friends started asking me what I had done to him. They said he changed and suddenly started behaving responsibly. I was very skeptical, but that soon passed.
He is my best friend and soulmate, and we have been together 30 years.
Sometimes, people are wrong.

*Beth* · Feb 14, 2021 at 04:29 PM

When I was much younger and before I was married my then-boyfriend and I separated for some months. During that time I became pregnant from a man I was dating. But my then-boyfriend had second thoughts about he and I splitting up and made his thoughts known to me. In the meantime, the baby's father opted to be out of the picture.

My then-boyfriend wanted to raise the baby with me. We decided to get married. We raised our daughter together and, a few years later, had a son. Ironically, my daughter and my husband have always been especially close.

As for her biological father, he has very occasional contact with my daughter, just to basically say Hello, how are you. But my daughter fully considers her adoptive father (my husband) her "dad." She's now almost 36 years old.

If everyone in the picture is mature about the situation and never uses the child as a pawn - never - the situation can work out to be wonderful.

Every child deserves to be loved and cherished. It's only our selfish egos that stand in the way of that.

Feb 15, 2021 at 04:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

During that time I became pregnant from a man I was dating.

The key words. I wonder if it'd go the same way if you became pregnant from a man you f*cked behind your husband's back.

Have Hope · Feb 15, 2021 at 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MisterPaul

The key words. I wonder if it'd go the same way if you became pregnant from a man you f*cked behind your husband's back.

An excellent distinction and point.

*Beth* · Feb 15, 2021 at 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MisterPaul

The key words. I wonder if it'd go the same way if you became pregnant from a man you f*cked behind your husband's back.

Although your question is rudely worded, I'll answer it: Yes. My husband has a big heart, a small ego, and room to love any child. And vice-versa; I would feel the same way were he to conceive a child outside of our marriage. 'Nuf said.

Yourself · Feb 16, 2021 at 08:27 AM

She says the same thing to me that if it were the other way around she would gladly raise my child with someone else but 1. I don’t believe that for a second. And 2. I can’t have kids anyway so it’s very easy to say that when it’ll never be an issue anyway...

AzulOscuro · Feb 16, 2021 at 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yourself

She says the same thing to me that if it were the other way around she would gladly raise my child with someone else but 1. I don’t believe that for a second. And 2. I can’t have kids anyway so it’s very easy to say that when it’ll never be an issue anyway...

So, If you don’t believe her, please, think it twice about go on with her. You have the right to find happiness.
You are the right one to know how your future with her could be, not us.
In marriages, in couples, there aren’t rules that say this is good or bad (this is updated as a user stated) only the one the members of the couple decide.

Wonder yourself if you are gonna be happy in these circumstances. You have the right to think about what it best for you. Do you feel she loves you? So go ahead. This is the most important but if you have a doubt, let her cope with the consequences of her acts.

I wonder why she in the earth told this guy she was pregnant?

I also wonder why you have so clear that she would never raise a kid you conceived with another woman? The History is full of examples like this. You could have more clues about her that you don’t share with us. So, it’s necessary that you follow your guts since you are the one who knows her better.

AzulOscuro · Feb 16, 2021 at 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

Although your question is rudely worded, I'll answer it: Yes. My husband has a big heart, a small ego, and room to love any child. And vice-versa; I would feel the same way were he to conceive a child outside of our marriage. 'Nuf said.

Your case is not under the same circumstances. You were separated from your ex. You can’t compare.

*Beth* · Feb 16, 2021 at 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro

Your case is not under the same circumstances. You were separated from your ex. You can’t compare.

My point is not about adult egos, but about the innocent child in question.

Yourself · Feb 20, 2021 at 02:54 PM

I think I messed up... I’m sleeping with a pregnant woman... I am weak 😔 and confused, everyday feels like a nightmare I thought I woke up from but never did...

Feb 20, 2021 at 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yourself

I think I messed up... I’m sleeping with a pregnant woman... I am weak 😔 and confused, everyday feels like a nightmare I thought I woke up from but never did...

But.. with your pregnant woman or did you find another one?

divine1966 · Feb 20, 2021 at 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

My point is not about adult egos, but about the innocent child in question.

Good point. My grandfather was a wonderful man, husband, father and grandfather, great person all together. He wasn’t my mom’s bio father. But he was her father. We never even think about that he didn’t conceive her. I think people put too much emphasis on who biologically conceived a child, instead of who is actually being a parent.

divine1966 · Feb 20, 2021 at 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yourself

I think I messed up... I’m sleeping with a pregnant woman... I am weak 😔 and confused, everyday feels like a nightmare I thought I woke up from but never did...

So did you decide to stay together?

Have Hope · Feb 20, 2021 at 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yourself

I think I messed up... I’m sleeping with a pregnant woman... I am weak 😔 and confused, everyday feels like a nightmare I thought I woke up from but never did...

Love is supposed to be a happy and fulfilling experience.. not daily emotional torture and certainly not a nightmare.

*Beth* · Feb 20, 2021 at 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

Good point. My grandfather was a wonderful man, husband, father and grandfather, great person all together. He wasn’t my mom’s bio father. But he was her father. We never even think about that he didn’t conceive her. I think people put too much emphasis on who biologically conceived a child, instead of who is actually being a parent.

Exactly.

Yourself · Feb 21, 2021 at 07:59 AM

Yes it’s with my pregnant woman haha I didn’t find another. We are trying to be together but now that it’s getting better I’m getting worried I had nothing to do with it and I’m just waiting for her... I feel selfish but if I don’t have any say or control over my own relationship am I really even part of it? To be fair my current situation seems to laughingly scream no in my face but I could be over thinking. Or I could be a terrible person I don’t know...

Have Hope · 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yourself

Yes it’s with my pregnant woman haha I didn’t find another. We are trying to be together but now that it’s getting better I’m getting worried I had nothing to do with it and I’m just waiting for her... I feel selfish but if I don’t have any say or control over my own relationship am I really even part of it? To be fair my current situation seems to laughingly scream no in my face but I could be over thinking. Or I could be a terrible person I don’t know...

Plain and simple dear @Yourself. Are you happy in this relationship? Can you move forward right now given your current state of mind? Or are you unhappy, confused, conflicted, in turmoil and in pain and anguish in this relationship?

It's really simple. A happy and healthy relationship does not involve so much anguish and turmoil. An unhealthy relationship involves the above kind of negative emotions. I know you say you love her no matter what, but at what cost to you? No need to answer... just to ponder. If you're happy or truly believe you can be in this relationship, then great! And if not, then maybe think on this a bit more.

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Yourself Member Member Since Apr 2015 Location: New York Posts: 43 9 14 hugs given	Feb 13, 2021 at 04:24 PM #61 Nobody actually said I had to choose but I know I can’t have both... no matter what I choose someone will be disappointed and I don’t see an option where I’m actually happy.
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Yourself Member Member Since Apr 2015 Location: New York Posts: 43 9 14 hugs given	Feb 16, 2021 at 08:27 AM #69 She says the same thing to me that if it were the other way around she would gladly raise my child with someone else but 1. I don’t believe that for a second. And 2. I can’t have kids anyway so it’s very easy to say that when it’ll never be an issue anyway...
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Yourself Member Member Since Apr 2015 Location: New York Posts: 43 9 14 hugs given	Feb 20, 2021 at 02:54 PM #73 I think I messed up... I’m sleeping with a pregnant woman... I am weak 😔 and confused, everyday feels like a nightmare I thought I woke up from but never did...
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