Greener grass, cheating, pettiness, and blame

How do you not blame yourself for someone who cheated on you? Even if this person was abusive and narcissistic? It hurts when they think the grass is greener elsewhere after they’ve picked petty arguments with you. Pick fights and feel it’s justified of what they make you out to be in their heads in that you are a piece of crap because you didn’t help them pay $1500 in back child support to prevent a license suspension? Never married this person and I have my own bills and if I’d asked him for this type of money and given him less than a week he probably would have blocked me or something. Just wish i could stop turning all this petty crap inward instead of toward him where the problem is. Even at the end of this relationship i still feel ******.

I am sorry this happened to you. Cheating is most painful. So is abuse.

It may help to read more on abusive and narcissistic traits and behaviors. This helps to de-personalize what is happening to you, or what has happened to you. It's not personal, but it is targeted behavior. He would cheat on anyone, not just you.

It has nothing to do with who you are, and everything to do with who THEY are.

So Sorry that things aren't going well! i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters about this not being your fault. Are you currently seeing a therapist? i feel like that may help you to process this. Please do not give up. Hugs. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Ladytmt, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!