[What_the_hell]

Hi lovely people! What's your take on being close friends with an ex? After 5+ years of being in a relationship and given that both people have moved on with their lives and are seeing someone else? Does anypone have an experience of having this kind of friendship and if yes, how do you find it & how does it affect your present romantic connection?

[BigBubba]

I think it sounds risky. The emotional past is like a volcano.

[RoxanneToto]

Some people can do it, but it’s quite individual really. I think the more mature in personality two exes are, the easier it probably can be to maintain proper boundaries (once the dust has settled and there’s no more pain from the break up, I mean). I tried to stay friends with some of my exes but it was too difficult, even though our relationships were very short (3 months on average).

[MickeyCheeky]

i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters that it is risky but also that it depends on the individuals. If the two are mature enough then certainly i think it is possible to stay Friends with them. i think some problems may arise with a new partner though. i am not sure. It really does depend on people i think. Just take into considerations the risks i think. i am not sure what else to suggest though. Sorry if this post wasn't really useful. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @What_the_hell, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[divine1966]

I am friends with my ex husband but we share a daughter. We’d likely not maintain friendship if we had no kids together.

It doesn’t effect our romantic connections. We are both happily married. Our spouses are also friendly with them and with each other

Is there a particular reason you want to be friends with exes?

[mssweatypalms]

It may work, but in my case I never talked with my exes again. I don't want anything to with them. You seem to have a good relationship and moved on completely. I don't know about your recent partner though. If it were me, I wouldn't like my boyfriend talking to his ex.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by What_the_hell

Hi lovely people! What's your take on being close friends with an ex? After 5+ years of being in a relationship and given that both people have moved on with their lives and are seeing someone else? Does anypone have an experience of having this kind of friendship and if yes, how do you find it & how does it affect your present romantic connection?

I mean why though? Usually you only keep that kind of connection if a) you have a kid or b) you’re dissatisfied in your current relationship?

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[What_the_hell]

I don't! I have a friendly relationship with my exes but we aren't close friends. I have met someone awesome though who is showing up for me 100% but is close friends with one of their exes. They broke up more than 4 years ago and never got back together. But I am still concerned.

[RoxanneToto]

I’d be friends with an ex if I liked them as a person but we just didn’t make a good couple - good relationships are based on friendship, but not all friends make suitable partners. I think it’s natural to be concerned about partners being close friends with exes. That’s a tough situation to be in, and I’m not sure how it’s best dealt with.