Roommate Etiquette

The_little_didgee · Apr 29, 2021, 08:49 AM

Here are a few things I learned about living with roommates:

1. When you are sharing a place with another person you must let them know that a guest will be spending the night and for how long.

2. Don't leave dishes in the sink.

3. Respect the routines of others.

4. Keep the common areas clean.

5. Discuss who does what chores and when.

6. Don't touch things and food that doesn't belong to you.

7. Wipe pee dribble off the toilet seat.

8. Don't be excessively noisy. Don't do things that disturb others late at night.

9. This is the most important tip. Communicate, it can prevent nasty arguments.

These ones are specifically for guests:

1. You must keep the common areas clean and free of your stuff. It isn't your home.

2. Don't come expecting to do batch cooking. That is just rude and interferes with the routines of others living in the house.

3. Don't cook meals in the middle of the night. (Yes, a guest really did this).

Apr 29, 2021, 09:34 AM

There are no universal rules for every person in the world. Communicate. Everyone's different.

The_little_didgee · Apr 29, 2021, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MisterPaul

There are no universal rules for every person in the world. Communicate. Everyone's different.

No they are not. These ones worked for me. There are definitely others that I didn't include on my list. If you have any, please include them. I would appreciate that a lot more than being reminded that they are not universal.

Apr 29, 2021, 10:15 AM

Admit your situation when you f*** up. Apologize.

Also, try to befriend people you share the apt with. It smooths things out by A LOT.

MickeyCheeky · Apr 29, 2021, 10:21 AM

Those seem like pretty good rules to me although i don't think i have ever been with a roommate outside of my Family i think. i think that rule is particularly important as Well. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @The_little_didgee, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

seesaw · Apr 29, 2021, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

No they are not. These ones worked for me. There are definitely others that I didn't include on my list. If you have any, please include them. I would appreciate that a lot more than being reminded that they are not universal.

The key, that you identified, is this is how you prefer the etiquette and so clearly communicating this with a roommate, and compromising where possible, is essential.

I think one or two dishes in the sink (As long as cleaned or loaded in dishwasher by end of day) is fine. But what's a deal breaker for me is passive aggressive behavior. If someone can't come to me openly and discuss something bothering them and expects me to either tiptoe or hound them to tell me what's bothering them because they are behaving passively hostile, no way. Grow the **** up.

Also respect that your roommate may have a different lifestyle or limitations. I had a roommate once and I was on medication that made me extraordinarily fatigued. She was visibly angry all the time at me for sleeping as much as I did, like it had any impact on her? She knew I was on these meds, and disabled, and she was a total jerk. But she was just a total jerk anyhow.

leomama · Apr 29, 2021, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

Those seem like pretty good rules to me although i don't think i have ever been with a roommate outside of my Family i think. i think that rule is particularly important as Well. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @The_little_didgee, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

You are fortunate . Not everyone is so fortunate.

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MsLady · Apr 29, 2021, 12:13 PM

Quote:

2. Don't come expecting to do batch cooking. That is just rude and interferes with the routines of others living in the house.

If one is living with a roommate, chances are they can't afford living on their own. Batch cooking saves money in the long run (and you don't have to be poor to cook in batches).

This rule I disagree with. It's a personal opinion to see it as rude. Having said that, it's all in the communication that can be sorted out. I used to batch cook once per week so if I had a roommate, I'd explain this and compromise on a schedule that works for everyone.

leomama · Apr 29, 2021, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MsLady

If one is living with a roommate, chances are they can't afford living on their own. Batch cooking saves money in the long run (and you don't have to be poor to cook in batches).

This rule I disagree with. It's a personal opinion to see it as rude. Having said that, it's all in the communication that can be sorted out. I used to batch cook once per week so if I had a roommate, I'd explain this and compromise on a schedule that works for everyone.

The batch cooking rule was for guests and I agree with it. When I had roommates I had conflicts with them over the kitchen, specifically one roommate left the kitchen a complete mess. That particular roommate ended up moving out as the prior roommates didn’t care so I changed things when I protested the mess.

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divine1966 · Apr 29, 2021, 06:03 PM

I am confused on guest situations. Guests are cooking in your houses?

The only guests occasionally cooking in my home are our adult kids when come to visit. Particularly my daughter loves to cook and it’s good with me. But even then it wouldn’t be batches. My stepdaughters aren’t big on cooking, they might make something small when visiting, they sure wouldn’t make big meals in my kitchen. But OK it’s family.

I never had other house guests cooking anything major. Especially in batches. I mean make cup of coffee and fry an egg. Do you have house guests cooking lots in your houses? In batches?

Your roommates rules are reasonable. For me excessive noise is unacceptable and of course smoking inside. And I am clean freak so no mess is tolerated.

MsLady · Apr 29, 2021, 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

I am confused on guest situations. Guests are cooking in your houses? .

Ya, I'm not understanding this, either.

The_little_didgee · Apr 30, 2021, 08:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

I am confused on guest situations. Guests are cooking in your houses?

Yes, I was specifically referring to guests, not roommates. I don't have issues with roommates doing batch cooking at all.

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

The only guests occasionally cooking in my home are our adult kids when come to visit. Particularly my daughter loves to cook and it’s good with me. But even then it wouldn’t be batches. My stepdaughters aren’t big on cooking, they might make something small when visiting, they sure wouldn’t make big meals in my kitchen. But OK it’s family.

I never had other house guests cooking anything major. Especially in batches. I mean make cup of coffee and fry an egg. Do you have house guests cooking lots in your houses? In batches?

Your roommates rules are reasonable. For me excessive noise is unacceptable and of course smoking inside. And I am clean freak so no mess is tolerated.

One roommate had his girlfriend over for the week. She decided to cook enormous amounts of food to take home with her. This certainly wasn't dinner or any other small meal. If it was I wouldn't have cared. This was hardcore cooking that involved use of the entire kitchen and went on for 4 or 5 hours a day.

The guest seemed unaware that she was in the way and disruptive to others who needed to use the kitchen. Plus she packed the entire fridge and freezer with her groceries and plastic food containers with no respect for the other tenant. She even filled two big 45 L garbage bags with her garbage in 3 days. The two tenants normally filled one bag in 7 days.

The lady had her own place. Why couldn't she have done this at her place? I don't know. Maybe there was a conflict with her roommate about kitchen use.

Kitchens and cooking seem to cause a lot of conflict.

divine1966 · Apr 30, 2021, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

Yes, I was specifically referring to guests, not roommates. I don't have issues with roommates doing batch cooking at all.

One roommate had his girlfriend over for the week. She decided to cook enormous amounts of food to take home with her. This certainly wasn't dinner or any other small meal. If it was I wouldn't have cared. This was hardcore cooking that involved use of the entire kitchen and went on for 4 or 5 hours a day.

The guest seemed unaware that she was in the way and disruptive to others who needed to use the kitchen. Plus she packed the entire fridge and freezer with her groceries and plastic food containers with no respect for the other tenant. She even filled two big 45 L garbage bags with her garbage in 3 days. The two tenants normally filled one bag in 7 days.

The lady had her own place. Why couldn't she have done this at her place? I don't know. Maybe there was a conflict with her roommate about kitchen use.

Kitchens and cooking seem to cause a lot of conflict.

Wow. That sounds crazy inconsiderate. Batch cooking in someone else’s kitchen.

unaluna · Apr 30, 2021, 08:59 AM

Thats too much! She stole a week's utilities (gas, water, electric, sewage) from your landlord! Thats not just etiquette.

leomama · Apr 30, 2021, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

Yes, I was specifically referring to guests, not roommates. I don't have issues with roommates doing batch cooking at all.

One roommate had his girlfriend over for the week. She decided to cook enormous amounts of food to take home with her. This certainly wasn't dinner or any other small meal. If it was I wouldn't have cared. This was hardcore cooking that involved use of the entire kitchen and went on for 4 or 5 hours a day.

The guest seemed unaware that she was in the way and disruptive to others who needed to use the kitchen. Plus she packed the entire fridge and freezer with her groceries and plastic food containers with no respect for the other tenant. She even filled two big 45 L garbage bags with her garbage in 3 days. The two tenants normally filled one bag in 7 days.

The lady had her own place. Why couldn't she have done this at her place? I don't know. Maybe there was a conflict with her roommate about kitchen use.

Kitchens and cooking seem to cause a lot of conflict.

Yeah not cool

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