[What_the_hell]

Have met a really cool person online and have been talking for a few months. over phone, some skype dates and constantly staying in touch by texting. The connection feels so powerful and intense and he treats me in a very considerate way. He is more successful financially and career-wise and has given me some great advice in that area, so it has been inspiring and I notice myself becoming more accountable and progressing with what I want to do in life. He lives across the globe however I have met some people here who actually know him in person (they come from the same country).

Sometimes I notice we don't vibe 100% - we have a different sense of aesthetic, for example but I enjoy the convos so much and especially the attention, feeling so desired and pursued. I have not experienced that level of attentive treatment for such a period of time from anyone before. We also connect on our kinks, sexual preferences and vibe off each others' voices. I tried to pull off the 'friends' card but attraction just feels undeniable. And while I understand I cannot really say anything before we meet in person, I find myself falling for this guy. Who by the way plans to visit me soon!

My question is, how do I stay present and don't invest (mentally) too much in someone I've never met? I am afraid of living in a fantasy world but I find it so hard to pull away :\ Trying to talk to other people online but the level of conversation/connection just seems boring compared to that person.

[blubbbrabbel]

Hej,
if the connection and attraction feels strong, it is easy to drift off into day dreams... and to get very mentally invested. The good thing is that you are aware of that.
Plus, when the stakes are higher, because some is so far, this can have an effect on passion. At least I felt this way at times...
Maybe you can enjoy what you have there and even look forward to the upcoming visit! And stay present not by distracting yourself with other contacts online. But instead with something in real life. Maybe being outside in nature or realy just doing something you enjoy! Or invest in yourself in any other way, that makes you curious or interested. Maybe by learning a new skill, instrument or something. How would you feel about that?

[leomama]

Originally Posted by What_the_hell

Have met a really cool person online and have been talking for a few months. over phone, some skype dates and constantly staying in touch by texting. The connection feels so powerful and intense and he treats me in a very considerate way. He is more successful financially and career-wise and has given me some great advice in that area, so it has been inspiring and I notice myself becoming more accountable and progressing with what I want to do in life. He lives across the globe however I have met some people here who actually know him in person (they come from the same country).

Sometimes I notice we don't vibe 100% - we have a different sense of aesthetic, for example but I enjoy the convos so much and especially the attention, feeling so desired and pursued. I have not experienced that level of attentive treatment for such a period of time from anyone before. We also connect on our kinks, sexual preferences and vibe off each others' voices. I tried to pull off the 'friends' card but attraction just feels undeniable. And while I understand I cannot really say anything before we meet in person, I find myself falling for this guy. Who by the way plans to visit me soon!

My question is, how do I stay present and don't invest (mentally) too much in someone I've never met? I am afraid of living in a fantasy world but I find it so hard to pull away :\ Trying to talk to other people online but the level of conversation/connection just seems boring compared to that person.

I was in a ldr with someone I met online and then it broke down when he actually moved out here.
Is he older ?
Are you sure he’s single?
Ldr are not advised for people with mental illness.
I would never ever in my lifetime get involved with another one , online and long distance, ever .

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[poshgirl]

What_the_hell, I understand what you are saying. Hope my response is not complicated.

Needing to be discreet here, know of a similar situation where there's been a "meeting of minds" on a lot of subjects, even when contact is only by e-mail. It's amazing how versatile the human imagination can be

The elation is wonderful. Your outlook changes, becoming more open-minded especially if emotions have been damped down for whatever reason. All the positives of a new relationship. However, you are right that staying in the real world is essential. That's vital to spare any disappointment with finding out something serious, like he's not single.

The "vibe" as you call it sounds strong. You have to be really lucky to "click" 100% with someone, however long you've known them. Speaking from experience, it can take a lot of effort to, as you say, stay in the present. These situations generate many questions. Some are asked freely, others put off perhaps fearing the answer.

When did life become some complicated!

[What_the_hell]

that´s actually great advice, thank you! I will continue staying present my immersing myself in activities offline and yesss nature helps.
<3

[What_the_hell]

He is just one year older and during out convos, we've shared fb, linkedin... I can see it's a legit person and yes, they are single. I realize I cannot say anything until we actually hang out in person, but what I have seen so far is him being trustworthy and very direct about where he's at in life.

[divine1966]

Never mind. I didn’t read the whole thread before responding

[divine1966]

So is he planning to visit you as bought tickets or requested time off work at the very least or plans to visit as talking about it with no clear plans? Soon as this year, 5 years from now?

[poshgirl]

Originally Posted by What_the_hell

that´s actually great advice, thank you! I will continue staying present my immersing myself in activities offline and yesss nature helps.
<3

That's good to hear! Kept re-reading and what I'd written started to make sense. Trying to be discreet makes it harder to comment. It's difficult at times to do your own thing when all you want is a chat, on whatever subject.

Good luck!

[MickeyCheeky]

That is pretty good news! Please do not give up! i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters about trying to do something in real life perhaps. try not to stress yourself too much about this. It is good that you're feeling this good of course but i think it is better not to get over-invested like you have said. Of course if it works out i think that may be better for everyone. Just take it as a potential new step and try to see if it works out. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @What_the_hell, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[AzulOscuro]

Which country is he from?

[What_the_hell]

yeah planning to come this year, has communicated the dates and checked in with me if those would be okay.