[Azoey281]

Hello,

I am new here and don;t know where to start. I have been separated form my husband for almost a year now. We have done counseling and I have given my all and tried everything, He has done so much damage and i feel like i have lost myself. He has been emotionally and verbally abusive for some time and it has had its effects. I am finding that I have so much anger and don;t know where to put it or do with it. I feel like one minute I am screaming and then the net minute I am crying. I feel like I am in so much pain it is awful . We have a three year old son and the last thing I ever wanted was for him to grow up in a divorce home. My mom suggested I join one of these groups so I thought I would try. Thanks for listening.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Azoey: Thank you for bringing your concern here to MSF. Welcome to the forums.

Here's a link to the Divorce & Separation forum, just in case you haven't already noticed it:

https://mysupportforums.org/divorce-and-separation/

I hope you find being here to be of benefit.

[Open Eyes]

You are doing the right thing because you don’t want you child to grow up witnessing you husband treating you badly. They copy behaviors not understanding these behaviors are wrong.

Give yourself time to mourn the fact that your marriage relationship did not give you what you wanted. It’s going to take you time to recover yourself from all the bad experiences you have dealt with. Be patient with yourself.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by Azoey281

Hello,

I am new here and don;t know where to start. I have been separated form my husband for almost a year now. We have done counseling and I have given my all and tried everything, He has done so much damage and i feel like i have lost myself. He has been emotionally and verbally abusive for some time and it has had its effects. I am finding that I have so much anger and don;t know where to put it or do with it. I feel like one minute I am screaming and then the net minute I am crying. I feel like I am in so much pain it is awful . We have a three year old son and the last thing I ever wanted was for him to grow up in a divorce home. My mom suggested I join one of these groups so I thought I would try. Thanks for listening.

I am going through the same process; my husband has been emotionally and verbally abusive for the last 3 years. We've been separated since Nov. We got back together for 2 months early in the year, then I broke it off again because I knew he couldn't change. They very rarely can and do change and not without years of intensive therapy.

I, too, have a lot of anger that I don't know what to do with. Journaling hasn't helped me too much - only a little.

What I did do to help myself which has worked is I approached my local domestic violence center and got myself connected to an abuse counselor who speaks with me for one hour every week. She doesn't counsel me as a therapist would, but she offers support and strategies around how to manage the abuse, my pending divorce, and communications with my husband. I also attended a few sessions with an abuse survivors support group - it helped. I also reach out to my friends and family members who can support me through the divorce, and I have my own therapist as well.

My advice is to reach out for support and to develop a support network/system. We need a lot of support through an abusive situation and marriage, even long after the marriage has ended.

I hope you can find the resources and support you need - feel free to PM me.

[Marie123]

I am sorry you are going thru all of this. Igot a divorce after 31 years of verbal abuse. The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life. Keeping a journal and seeing a therapist could be valuable.

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry you're struggling! Please do not give up! i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters about Hoping that things will improve for you and taking the time you need. i'd also suggest to see a therapist if you aren't already. Check out the divorce and separation forums if needed. Please do stay Safe. Hugs. Take things one step at the time. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Azoey281, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!