[jcl76]

How do you let go when you both love one another? Better question is, how do you decide if its right? My GF and I are both in our mid 40’s and we just had our one-year anniversary. We both love one another very much and are best friends. When we met on our first date it was instant comfort, laughing, which last 4 hrs. After our 3rd date she flew across the county to even spend time with my family for thanksgiving. Her kids love me and both of our families adore everyone, so it all seems like all the pros should lineup for a long term future. We have never had a fight at all until the other night. Although it was petty, it did create a long open talk between us that led to questions, our desires, our fears. One being she got out of a really bad marriage a few years ago with a narcissist who has left her with the fear of ever being in a marriage again. While I do want to get to get married, a piece of paper is not going to stop me if that is the case, but it did come out that even the fact of even living with anyone makes her feel trapped and she does not want to go through the same thing as her ex. This is tough to process as I know that I can’t continue with this forever for a hope of that may change. Where I am trapped is know we are just alike, we totally get each other, literally laugh every day, and it all aligns but this one thing. I could go on and on about all the pros of who we are together and how we feel. I did leave it as “I am not your ex and I can’t carry the burden on my shoulders to convince you that”. So now are at a cross road and just processing it but trying to build the strength to just rip the band aid off and move on.

[RollercoasterLover]

Are you willing to be patient and let your girlfriend let your words sink in? You aren't her ex, and now that you've reminded her of that, does she deserve a chance to trust herself enough to trust you not to hurt her? All I'm suggesting is keep talking to each other and give yourself a chance to prove your words are real.
Of course, maybe she's better off without someone who would run at the first hint of things not being perfect. We all know how perfect life and people are right? She's learned the hard way that life and people aren't perfect.

[jcl76]

Originally Posted by RollercoasterLover

Are you willing to be patient and let your girlfriend let your words sink in? You aren't her ex, and now that you've reminded her of that, does she deserve a chance to trust herself enough to trust you not to hurt her? All I'm suggesting is keep talking to each other and give yourself a chance to prove your words are real.
Of course, maybe she's better off without someone who would run at the first hint of things not being perfect. We all know how perfect life and people are right? She's learned the hard way that life and people aren't perfect.

Well I just received the break up email. She said she is not in the place right "now". I am friend with that now, but all I needed to hear that the door is not 100% shut on never wanting more

[Bill3]

I'm very sorry to hear this news.

[RoxanneToto]

I’m very sorry, jcl76.