cutting words or ''needy'' words, supposed to trigger a reaction..

Yeah, I've been on the receiving end of this... a few times.

Mostly, the cutting words. From the ''family'' of origin. Not cool.

Has anyone else experienced this from people who were supposed to be ''close''.... at least I think ''family'' are, ideally, supposed to be somewhat close.

You and I are in the same boat. I too had to leave home at 18, although I also wanted to leave. It definitely sets us apart from the rest of humanity who enjoys warm and close relationship with their family of origin .
I definitely want to find a man who is more like me, different subject.

Fuzzybear, this is very familiar to me and apparently to a lot of forum members too.

My mother has adopted this behaviour over many years. Well documented in another forum topic. Until recently I've ignored it as much as I can. However, I've now reacted more strongly to her behaviour. She's always been difficult; my brother is her favourite because he says what she wants to hear. As she's got older, this type of behaviour has become an obsession.

Her latest outburst was to say "I'd have sought revenge a few years ago for what you've just said". Who takes that stance with their daughter?! I asked her to be specific when saying I didn't show her any compassion. Earlier in the conversation, she'd said I'd been compassionate in taking her to medical appointments, doing shopping. What I haven't done is pander to her various moods, a lot of which is attention-seeking.

For my sanity, I've distanced myself. Should have done it years ago. In our minds, family/those close shouldn't behave this way so it's a massive shock when it happens.

Your self-esteem is very important. Being true to yourself, as you're an individual who may view things differently. Stay strong!

Sounds like something my mom would say, posh girl. She doesn’t talk to me and when she does it’s to remind me how “awful” I was as a teenager.

Let’s see trauma, undiagnosed ld and mood disorder that she punished me and blamed me for having and resulting substance abuse in attempt to self medicate ? Oh yeah, I was really awful alright.

Only time I have used cutting words were mostly with my now ex after feeling like I beat my head against the wall saying the same thing over & over again without his getting it. When my patience is pushed beyond its limit cutting words sometimes are the way I respond & I don't care if conflict arises cause by that point I am usually angry.

My mother would pull the trying the guilt trip on me & my response was either "oh STOP it" or I would just ignore her let her stew in her expecting an apology from me cause she was never going to get it.

Always 2 sides to every story as to why someone responds the way they do. Sometimes broken thinking causes it, other times it can be out of frustration. I am sure there are many more reasons.

I have learned better communications skills however there are some people like the druggie people I constantly deal with up at the barn who just don't comprehend things said over & over again that cutting words just come out after being pushed. I don't hold my anger or frustration inside. I am like a pressure cooker. If I don't let steam off as irritation builds, I will explode & that would not be a good thing. The stuff I get angry about are things like them leaving the gate open & if my horse gets out of the rickety fencing area she would head down the driveway & who knows where she might end up....even with a sign on the gate they don't close it or lock it when they leave. I can only tell people things so many times along with the reason behind what I ask before being ignored triggers cutting words & a conflict especially when my horses safety is at stake