[Aviza]

I told my mom I could watch her dog if her and her boyfriend wanted to take a trip. I meant a weekend. She's going to be gone two solid weeks. I told her that's too long, most of my summer, I can't watch the dog that long.

She says you get him when I die get used to it. I said I don't have to keep him. Ask someone else to watch him.

I'm struggling with work and other stuff. I don't need a dog right now, during 3 work weeks. I can't get her to back down. I don't mind a few days. Like 3 or 4. But 14 is far too long. Plus drop off days and pick up days more like 15 or 16.

What do I do she's not taking no for an answer? She's bullying me, manipulating me. But not listening to me.

[MickeyCheeky]

In this specific case perhaps ask someone else to help you with the dog if possible? i am not sure if she'd approve but perhaps ask her. i think it is good to stand up for yourself if you can't do something. Unfortunately i don't have a lot of adice to give. Try to be kind but firm to her. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Aviza, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[divine1966]

Don’t be home when she drops off the dog. She’d be forced to look for different solutions. She can’t make you watch her pets. She could take her dog with her too. Not your problem

[bpforever1]

Dear Aviza,

You should stress to your mother that taking care of her dog for so long is a burden and ask her to pay to put the dog in a boarding place. If she refuses, then send her the bill after she returns. I would try to tell her you are in no situation to look after her dog for so long. She is your mother and it is probably best not to antagonize her. You said you have a brother? Where is he in this situation? Just be firm and gentle with your mother. And, tell her you need to take care of yourself first otherwise you will become sick and fall apart. You need to stress that your health is a priority and that she should help you defray the cost of taking care of her dog while she is gone enjoying her life. I think she will come to her senses after awhile. Sometimes repeating the important part about taking care of yourself first could make an impact on her. She knows you have to take care of yourself so negotiate with her and see how she responds. May be, after the third time of hearing from you that you need to prioritize your health, she will bend a little. I don't think she wants to see you fall apart.

[poshgirl]

Oh, the same mother who has got involved with someone who is already trying to call the shots!

Good suggestion for you not to be in when she arrives with the dog. Perhaps the health route would be a better choice. A considered rather than knee-jerk reaction. Divine 1966, please don't take my comment as a personal criticism. It amused me because that would be my first reaction to such a request.

Has your mother behaved like this before, or is it just because of the new man in her life?

[ArtleyWilkins]

Hold your boundaries. "No, I will not take care of your dog. Find a kennel to board your dog while you are on vacation." And I kind of agree with Divine - be conveniently inconvenient on the day they will be dropping off the dog. Sounds like a good day to sit in a book store and read, or a nice coffee shop.

[Aviza]

New man but my therapists are always telling me to create boundaries with her. She doesn't respect my boundaries. She's codependent. And one therapist suggested I cut her out of my life. I fired him.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by poshgirl

Oh, the same mother who has got involved with someone who is already trying to call the shots!

Good suggestion for you not to be in when she arrives with the dog. Perhaps the health route would be a better choice. A considered rather than knee-jerk reaction. Divine 1966, please don't take my comment as a personal criticism. It amused me because that would be my first reaction to such a request.

Has your mother behaved like this before, or is it just because of the new man in her life?

I did not suggest to not be home as a first reaction or ultimate plan A. lol It’s more like since Aviza already told her mom she cannot do watch her pet and mom refuses to listen and plans on showing up with the dog, then what else there is to do? It’s like if people want to come over and you tell them you are busy and they insist, then the only solution is to not be home.

[Britedark]

Aviza, how is your relationship with your mother in general? Are you girls friendly and close? In which case you could try to meet her for coffee, treat her to her favourite snack and then explain to her nicely that it is impossible for you to take care of her dog for so long. I have often found people to be more reasonable just after they have eaten something comforting. If possible you can offer to visit her house x times a week, feed the dog and take him/her out for a short walk. For the rest she can arrange another minder. Will that be helpful? If nothing works, take a leaf out of Divine's page and go mia. Stop taking her calls, don't reply to her texts and when the day comes, go visit your favourite restaurant.