[SprinkL3]

There are many times I've tried to be sarcastically funny. It works well with people I've known for a long time, but not so much for people online or for people I've known IRL for a short while. I suppose it depends on the person and the circumstance.

Still, I get upset at the situation and at myself. I can't be funny, and then I've now upset a person or more.

And sometimes there's not a real opportunity to clear the air when my attempts at being funny were in the middle of something deep, so my explaining about all that would wind up adding fuel to the fire.

Of course, I could try another attempt at being funny about being funny and failing, but then I'd wind up being back here and wondering why it is I can't just be serious or execute a funny statement.

This has been bothering me for some time now.

I know it is a communication thing, but it's also who I am inside.

I'm no comedian, and I don't watch many comedies. I probably should, but I don't.

What is this I'm dealing with?

[poshgirl]

SprinkL3

The simplest explanation is it's the digital age, where unless you do Zoom (or other video calls), the nuance of humour is lost. If you're lucky to establish a brain connection then all should be well.

I have a friend, we've never met in person or by video call. In this case, experience (age and interests) mean that we can indulge in humour that others may find difficult to accept or understand. That's the brain connection.

Sadly and it can't be blamed on mobile phones, texting, etc, I've found people today just don't develop either a sense of humour or understand the finer points of irony or sarcasm.

You're not alone in this. However, it depends on how well you know the people as to whether you indulge in this type of humour or leave it alone. It's called "knowing your audience".

[Rive.]

If people don't know you, the risk of misinterpreting what you say (e.g. a joke), is higher. Also, some people just don't 'get' another person's joke. I see that more as an individual differences thing between human beings rather than it meaning there is something wrong with you.

If it is online, you can always add emoticons. If it is people you have not known for a long time, maybe use caution about how the 'jokes' are phrased or how it will be perceived to even make a joke. Restraint may be more appropriate for newer relationships, to avoid hurt feelings on both sides. I see it as more about editing rather than censoring yourself.

[unaluna]

Real life, one time a neighbor who is a doctor said to me, "...that's a joke." I was like, "Im the comedian here - i will tell YOU when youve made a joke!"

You ask, what is this? Im sure youve heard that brevity is the soul of wit. Your talent lies in explication.

[divine1966]

It depends.

I like to joke and like other people’s jokes but there are people who joke nonstop (that’s their defense mechanism or their coping ways and their mask). In this case it annoys people regardless if a joke is funny or not.

Now on people “not getting jokes”. They possibly get it, just don’t find it funny or simply don’t like it. In addition if they don’t even know you at all, they might not enjoy your jokes for that reason.

Also with constant jokers it is sometimes useful to pretend not to get the jokes so jokers back off and stop their jokes.

So there are many different situations at play. General observation based on experience. Not about you as I don’t know you.

[ArtleyWilkins]

Sarcasm doesn't translate well in writing - it is often misinterpreted as literal.

[RoxanneToto]

I’ve often been taken seriously when I was joking, and vice versa. I think it was because of my intonation and the differences between individuals thing, as I can be very deadpan, but some of the stuff I’ve said as ‘jokes’ that got taken seriously still beggar belief.
I agree though it’s very difficult to read ‘tone’ in text. Emoticons and perhaps additional context worked in can help, where possible.