Just trying to process and decide best direction

Well some people are good at pretending but typically pretending could only last few months. People aren’t able to pretend for three years. People always reveal who they are, you just have to pay attention.

You also have to look into if you are going for particular type of men. It’s a particular type of man who’d be telling a colleague that “her butt is to die for.” Particular types talk like this and act like this. I honestly cannot even wrap my mind who talks like this to a colleague. It’s not common or normal. You had to see that he lacks boundaries and lacks class from the very beginning. Do you like rough talking rough around the edges having no shame or boundaries kind of men? Maybe you’d be better off going for mild mannered humble soft spoken guys. Are you attracted to rough men?

If all three marriages were with wrong people, you might be going for all the same type of men. How was your family of Origin? How did your dad treat your mom? Were you raised to be submissive? You might need deep kind of therapy exploring how family of origin effected your choice in men.

It might be a good idea to stay single longer or maybe date longer. Not marry these men. You might find out they aren’t appropriate partners and it will be easier to leave. Marrying them might not be necessary at all

Also is he abusing substances like drinking and smoking pot excessively? It often effects ones judgement