[StephenT]

Is it normal for women to employ a made up story if they want to see how you'd react to a situation? Is it normal that they'd use a made up story if they didn't want to tell you what they have been doing or what they have been thinking?

It's just that I notice when something doesn't make sense.. but what if they are trying to communicate something else which I'm not noticing?

[StephenT]

I want to clarify I'm trying to understand if there are legitimate reasons, if this is just a way of communicating that is fine but isn't logical. Or whether it is more likely used for not so good reasons.

[divine1966]

I don’t think making stuff up is specific to women or is “normal” for women. It’s not a gender specific way of communicating. Not sure where you are going with this.

There could be many reasons why this person makes stiff up. Want you to leave her alone or isn’t interested to share with you? Or they might have some other agenda.

How close are you to this person and what’s the nature of a relationship? I mean if my husband made up stories I’d be concerned. But if a coworker tells me they went to ABC place but in reality they went to XYZ then I don’t really care. They don’t have to tell me.

[Rive.]

There is a lot of generalizing here. One person said one thing to you (scenario very vague and hence unclear from your post) and you conclude it is what people from Venus do?!

Well maybe she reacts this way towards you because you are from Mars.

[Breaking Dawn]

Hi, StephenT! Someone in my past who made stuff up turned out to be a pathological liar. It seems that people who do a lot of that can't help it. It's like an obsession or a compulsion. Do you think that might fit your lady?

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

Hi, StephenT! Someone in my past who made stuff up turned out to be a pathological liar. It seems that people who do a lot of that can't help it. It's like an obsession or a compulsion. Do you think that might fit your lady?

Hi StephenT. I have found the same as Breaking Dawn. Someone (more than one someone in fact) from my past made a lot of stuff up. Two of those people were male, 3 or more were female. I did later find out that they all were pathological liars. Apparently they can't help it, and it goes along with OCD sometimes (obsessive compulsive disorder) or ''obsessive personality disorder'' sometimes. Maybe this does fit the person you are posting about? Can you provide any more details?

[divine1966]

I wouldn’t jump to a conclusion that this person is a liar. She might have her reasons not wanting to report to OP what she is doing or what she is thinking. We don’t know enough about the situation to conclude anything

[StephenT]

I seem to be drawn to a certain kind of person since a young age, nothing unusual about becoming familiar with your role models I guess.

It's possible my idea of what's 'normal' is unique to me and I don't always see when I'm being treated badly. However I also notice that women have a high emotional intelligence and I see them use it, I'm just not smart enough to tell why. So all I see before me someone who is telling fairy tales. I don't know if I'm being fair to them.

[poshgirl]

StephenT, woman is a very complex being!

Joking aside, we do have a different emotional make up to men. Realise that's a simplistic explanation but it seems the most straight-forward. An example, when asked what colour his partner's dress is, he'll say blue. To him, that's how he sees it. Ask his partner and her answer will be it's royal blue, because she has a wider descriptive ability.

A woman will naturally elaborate on what she's saying by telling a relevant story to support. How far she goes with credibility is either her enhancement of the topic based on true personal experience, or exaggeration/lying for whatever reason. Stuff can be made up by anyone with good or bad intentions.

It could be she wants to provide a detailed scenario to enhance what she's saying. Or worst case, she is lying. Unfortunately, because we are all different and far more complicated than Mars/Venus, it can take time before we "call them out".

[StephenT]

Thanks, that helps.

I've often been in the position where I don't know what is being said, and if I say that... then I get "if you don't know then that's a problem". Or if I try to guess then I hear "oh, why would you think that I'd do that" ..makes me feel like I'm something that I know I'm not.

I'd like to know how to ask for answers, or to avoid offense (if that's what it is). Or maybe I can just learn to ignore what I can't find out but I want to find a way to tell someone that I heard it but I'm going to ignore it because I don't understand and you won't tell me. (I try hard and I feel disappointed when I can't get there)

[sarahsweets]

Originally Posted by StephenT

Thanks, that helps.

I've often been in the position where I don't know what is being said, and if I say that... then I get "if you don't know then that's a problem". Or if I try to guess then I hear "oh, why would you think that I'd do that" ..makes me feel like I'm something that I know I'm not.

I'd like to know how to ask for answers, or to avoid offense (if that's what it is). Or maybe I can just learn to ignore what I can't find out but I want to find a way to tell someone that I heard it but I'm going to ignore it because I don't understand and you won't tell me. (I try hard and I feel disappointed when I can't get there)

Easy enough. Just ask “can you give me an example of what you mean “
Or “I’m not understanding you the way you need me to can you explain it differently “ stuff like that.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Fuzzybear]