[StephenT]

What's with someone (close) who wants the dynamic to be that I'm special.

For example they're trying to explain something to me and in a moment of frustration they say 'normal people don't act that way', or 'normal people don't have trouble understanding this'.

I'm not perfect but I sense there is more to this than I can know. I feel hurt, angry and frustrated.

[Yaowen]

I don't know exactly what "normal" is but by any definition I doubt that the people criticizing you are normal themselves. Sorry you are going through this!

[AliceKate]

Did you let them know these comments hurt you?

[StephenT]

Yes. In the process I endure a few rounds of blame and hurt.

In the end, two things. I'll always have to be the one to remind myself where this is coming from.. and there may be a genuine feeling they're trying to express but I may never know what it is.

[mote.of.soul]

Yes, it sounds like a classic case of the 'gaslighting' going on there StephenT. I obviously don't know the full details but at some point you might want to tell them to cut it out, to stop it, for the simple fact that you don't appreciate at all, what they're inferring and saying. Tell them to just worry about themselves would be my advice, friend. 🙏

[StephenT]

I had someone tell me they were gaslighting me, and I asked them what they were doing, what it was about, why they were doing it.. but they went quiet. Should I worry about thing like that?

I'm not sure what it means.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by StephenT

I had someone tell me they were gaslighting me, and I asked them what they were doing, what it was about, why they were doing it.. but they went quiet. Should I worry about thing like that?

I'm not sure what it means.

If they went quiet it sounds to me like they don't know what they're talking about. Or else they'd have some snotty response ready, like some smart a s s comeback.

Sounds like THEY should be worried someone's on to them.

[mote.of.soul]

Yeah, I agree with nonightowl: they don't know what they're talking about really. If they had no response then, no, I wouldn't worry @StephenT. Sounds like they're doing it for 'fun' - which for me, if/when that happens, I never get the joke or why they'd even bother in the first place.

'Gaslighting' is basically when someone knowingly tries to make you think you're 'mad' or doing/saying something inappropriate when you're actually not. It can be confusing and annoying.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by mote.of.soul

Yeah, I agree with nonightowl: they don't know what they're talking about really. If they had no response then, no, I wouldn't worry @StephenT. Sounds like they're doing it for 'fun' - which for me, if/when that happens, I never get the joke or why they'd even bother in the first place.

'Gaslighting' is basically when someone knowingly tries to make you think you're 'mad' or doing/saying something inappropriate when you're actually not. It can be confusing and annoying.

And if this is their idea of "fun", what psychos they are.

I think the term comes from the old 1940's movie called Gaslight, where the husband tried to drive his wife insane or convince her she was, when she wasn't. Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer. Or maybe the term predates the movie; I never looked it up.

[StephenT]

I tend to ignore what these individuals are driving at when they do this. It makes them mad and they become obsessed with getting me to "understand".

It's almost like they want to know something but don't trust they'll get the truth from me by asking me a straight question.

[Fuzzybear]

I don't know what ''normal'' means.

I agree with mote.of.soul that this sounds like gaslighting

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by mote.of.soul

Yeah, I agree with nonightowl: they don't know what they're talking about really. If they had no response then, no, I wouldn't worry @StephenT. Sounds like they're doing it for 'fun' - which for me, if/when that happens, I never get the joke or why they'd even bother in the first place.

'Gaslighting' is basically when someone knowingly tries to make you think you're 'mad' or doing/saying something inappropriate when you're actually not. It can be confusing and annoying.

[StephenT]

I wonder if I should learn more about why someone might use gaslighting.. and ways I can respond to it when it gets in the way of my life.

[Marie123]

Sometimes "normal" is just the setting on a dryer. People who are judgemental are very insecure. I heard a comment I like when someone is judgemental.......your response can be: Oh, that is what you think. End of discussion.