[Jessii]

When my husband is on his phone and using it for work he ignores me. I try and talk and engage and he blanks me then snaps and says to leave him alone when he's on his phone.
I suggested him tell me when he has pressing work things to do or go to another room but he said no, why should he and I need to stop telling him what to do and say.

He says I'm overcomplicating things.

He was sending a photo to his friends and then I was in a playful mood and he ignores me and gets annoyed.

I hate my relationship

[SprinkL3]

Originally Posted by Jessii

When my husband is on his phone and using it for work he ignores me. I try and talk and engage and he blanks me then snaps and says to leave him alone when he's on his phone.
I suggested him tell me when he has pressing work things to do or go to another room but he said no, why should he and I need to stop telling him what to do and say.

He says I'm overcomplicating things.

He was sending a photo to his friends and then I was in a playful mood and he ignores me and gets annoyed.

I hate my relationship

Have you considered marital counseling to help both of you?

Does your husband work from home, or do you both work together?

Has your husband always done this, or is this new behavior?

There is such a thing as "emotional cheating," where you are left out of certain conversations that he has with other people. Partners/marriages are based on this idea that you two are "partners," so you tell one another everything or most things, and you make a pact or agreement about how you want your partnership to go. Some people have an "opened marriage," others have a polyamorous one, and most nuclear families try to have a monogamous one (no infidelity). Relationships work best when you are both on the same page with your expectations.

As far as him being busy on the phone while at work, I can understand that. But if you didn't know he was on the phone for work, or if that has changed in some way recently, then it would be good to have a conversation and some solution to that. Using labels like "complicated" doesn't help resolve the situation; they are just name-calling labels that minimize your feelings, or gaslight you when you are noticing that something has upset you about his behaviors in your partnership/marriage. It sounds like sending photos could be something that he could share with you, too, even if it is work-related. Many partners discuss their jobs with one another, unless they are confidential or something.

Your husband sounds rude, from the way you described him. You were just wanting to be in a playful mood and probably expected him to have a playful mood in return. Perhaps you both could compromise, where he shares things with you when he gets off of the phone and is done with work at the end of the day. But he still should know that the way he snapped at you hurt your feelings and wasn't appropriate - especially if he said that while the other person was still on the other line. If he was just texting, then he could have easily shared that info with you, it seems.

I'm sorry you are struggling in your marriage.

I've never been married, by the way. I just learned a lot about family systems in college, so every once in a while I'm read something and try to respond here. I'm no professional either. I'm disabled and only have a bachelor's degree. I just wanted to offer some possible tips that could help.

[Crazy Hitch]

If my partner is on the phone I don’t interrupt. He can’t multi task so wouldn’t get anything I’m saying whilst he’s on the phone.

[sarahsweets]

Are you saying he said he was on the phone with work but he was really sending his friend a picture?

[Marie123]

No one wants to be interrupted when on a phone call.

[poshgirl]

My sister-in-law used to do this. My brother would be talking to me on phone and she was constantly chipping in, often wrongly guessing what had been said.

No wonder your husband is irritated if you keep interrupting his business calls. Business is far different from chatting to a friend/relative. You should find something else to do whilst he's on a call.

His job may depend on you not distracting him, especially if his boss is on the phone.

[RoxanneToto]

I think it would depend on how he is with you outside of using his phone? If everything else is ok, then I’d just leave him alone if you see him on his phone. If this is a symptom of a wider problem, it might be worth having a conversation or consider what you want to do, if he doesn’t want to change.

[AzulOscuro]

The big evil nowadays. People used to be stick on their phones all day, no matter if they are in company of others physically. Their minds is on Instagram, on the pic they are gonna post, twiter and so on.

You will have to make decisions. I don’t see normal that a person with his/her spouse or partner, pay more attention to a what’s app from a friend or a post in the forum over their partner. You will have to bring out your needs and your limits and make things clear.

[Rive.]

If he is using his phone for work, I would leave him alone. I don't see why he should go to another room...

If you ''hate your relationship'' you can either both try to 'fix' it (e.g. counselling, communication with him) or leave the relationship.

[BigBubba]

Originally Posted by Marie123

No one wants to be interrupted when on a phone call.

Hail to that, Marie!

[divine1966]

Are you still in couples therapy? Could you bring this topic up?

[lizardlady]

Years ago I ran a business from home. My husband would interrupt trying to get my attention. It pissed me off. I was working. Jessel, if your husband worked in an office outside the home would you go there and try to get his attention?

[AzulOscuro]

He was not working. He was sending a pic to a friend.