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  #1  
Old Mar 22, 2022, 07:08 AM
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lovethesun lovethesun is offline
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Many probably saw my previous post regarding my daughter and her group of so-called friends that have turned toxic. The pattern of harassment seems to be continuing. Yesterday, someone phoned in a fake order to a pizza place and put it under my daughter's name and our address. It was a $200 order. They made it a cash order to avoid credit card identification and marked it as delivery. They used another kid's name from the school as the "orderer" and used a fake number for him. We declined the order but my daughter was horrified and upset. This is wreaking havoc on her self-esteem. many things go through my mind with this situation. First, how do you catch someone and punish them for this when they stay in the shadows and use other peoples names and addresses to file fake orders and reports? There's no proof to go to police with because we don't know who is doing this. Second, they know our address. Very scary to me! I'm terrified that this could escalate to someone filing a false report with a SWAT team who would show up at my house and blast through our door. or worse, this disturbed person could have someone else show up at our house to do worse things. And if I go to the school administration and just name all their names, will this demon in the shadows retaliate? This is a nightmare. I don't know how to handle it. I just wish this person would go away and leave us alone. My daughter is a quiet kid who's only offense (if you can call it that) was sticking up for a disturbed kid at school.
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  #2  
Old Mar 22, 2022, 07:29 AM
Bill3 Bill3 is offline
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I am so sorry that you and your daughter and family are dealing with this.

I myself would tell the police if someone made that fake $200 order to my house. The police especially need to know of this issue if there is a possibility of a fake SWAT team report. The pizza shop is also being harassed and perhaps their phone records can help the police locate the caller.

I would also tell the school. Idk if they can help but word does get around, kids brag...
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  #3  
Old Mar 22, 2022, 08:29 AM
ArtleyWilkins ArtleyWilkins is offline
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So you know who these kids are? You call them anonymous, but you also said you have their names.

Honestly, you and your daughter need to sit down with the administrators of her school. If the school has a resource officer, the resource officer needs to have the information also.

This is harassment and needs to be addressed before it goes any further. If administration doesn't respond immediately and effectively, go above their heads. Specifically refer to the terms harassment and bullying (if that applies) because schools are legally bound to intervene.

I am a public school teacher, and this is exactly the kind of behavior that can get so out of hand, but if we aren't told what is going on we often aren't even aware of it because we are working with no information or only partial information. Too often it is only after the fact that we are finally made aware of all of the information.

I would recommend putting it all in writing, including names and dates where you can. Schedule a conference with administration and your daughter needs to be there to speak for herself as much as possible. Administration should be able to tell you exactly what their plan of action will be to handle the situation. They will not be able to discuss specific information about other students with you; there are laws that keep us from doing so. However, they can tell you what they will be doing generally. For instance, they should be able to say they will call in the individuals involved to speak with them and will tell students to cease their actions. They should be able to tell you that they will contact the parents of these students so that those parents are aware that their kids are being put on notice to cease their behaviors within the school environment. There should be a code of conduct in place. Inquire to what the code of conduct procedures and steps are if any further problems occur.

Where possible, schedules can be changed to lessen contact during school hours.

The resource officer (actual police in our district) can tell you how you can proceed outside of the school -- they have different rules/laws that we do inside the school environment. The school has no jurisdiction outside of school property unless it is a school function, so if this harassment is occurring outside of school, law enforcement should be able to tell you what you options are and how they can assist you.
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  #4  
Old Mar 22, 2022, 06:13 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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You need to file a police report. You need no proof to file reports. Also go to school and talk to a principal asap. If you know who the kids are, it’s not anonymous. Not telling anyone is always worse than retaliation because it escalates.
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  #5  
Old Mar 23, 2022, 11:40 AM
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lovethesun lovethesun is offline
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****UPDATE******

Thank you all for your responses. Thank you Artley especially! And yes, I do have names. I only said "anonymous" because I am not sure which of the 4 people is behind this harassment, although after events of yesterday I think I now know who it is. I've taken the following action: 1.) I have spoken to managers at pizza shops where fake orders were placed (yes another fake order was placed yesterday, so now there are multiple shops that have been affected by this). I explained what was going on and took photos of all the receipts for the fake orders as evidence. On the receipt from yesterdays order, the person who ordered actually put there name in the delivery instructions saying "tell them its from (first name) (last name)" so this person is either getting very brazen or is getting ready to escalate and fears no punishment. We also found out another student is getting fake orders made in his name as well so another person is also being targeted. 2.) I have spoken to the assistant principal at the school and advised of all this activity. We have a meeting scheduled at the school for tomorrow morning with the assistant principal, counselor and resource officer (who is also a police officer). I plan to show all my evidence at the meeting.

I'm also going to speak to the resource officer about police options as far as reporting and what can be done. The resource officer is with the local police department.

oddly, the pizza shop receipts showed orders that were in great detail like "hold the jalapenos", "cut in 12 squares". The fake attack report was also in great detail. The detail of these fake orders and reports has me alarmed. it means the person doing this is putting alot of effort and time into it and seems to be deriving pleasure from that. Also the frequency with which it is happening and that it's happening to someone else too. This seems way beyond a school age prank.
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  #6  
Old Mar 23, 2022, 02:14 PM
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unaluna unaluna is offline
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"Tell them its from xxx yyy" could be a prank within a prank, trying to put the blame on another person.

Have they found the real source of the orders yet (computer address)? This doesnt sound like a smart perpetrator to me, just egotistical. Hopefully they are very computer-savvy, as they may soon find themselves in some trouble.
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  #7  
Old Mar 23, 2022, 03:34 PM
NatalieJastrow NatalieJastrow is offline
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[QUOTE=lovethesun;7192463]I'm also going to speak to the resource officer about police options as far as reporting and what can be done. The resource officer is with the local police department./QUOTE]

These days the police have amazing resources. Not sure if you remember but there was recently a case of these people being harrassed (in a similar way to you) and they didn't know where it was coming from and turned out it was from Ebay employees who had just decided they didn't like the couple. Long story short it got elevated to a federal crime. Now Ebay itself may be charged.

Social media is a treasure trove for stupid people that think the police can't see it if it is on private.

Trust me these things are taken very seriously.
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  #8  
Old Mar 25, 2022, 07:51 AM
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lovethesun lovethesun is offline
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****UPDATE #2****

Yesterday we met with the principal and counselor at the school. I presented a detailed chronological order of events to them including the fake attack report and all the prank pizza orders. I showed photos of receipts for the pizza. I also explained my continued confusion over the fact that the 2 friends that were so worried about my daughter that they went to the principals office to tell admin about it....have been ignoring my daughter at lunch and in the hallways and reacted angrily when my daughter tried to talk things over with them. So another form of mean girl bullying garbage basically. The principal and counselor were horrified at all that's gone on. They offered mediation to my daughter to try to repair the friendships, but my daughter is not interested and would rather just walk away from it. Honestly, I don't blame my daughter. How do you ever come to trust and be-friend people like that again who were so vengeful and hateful and basically gave you the finger when you tried to talk to them? I still would like to know exactly what was so aweful that my daughter did to deserve a month long campaign of harassment. My own personal theory is that one of the girls in the group had a crush on the boy who is troubled whom my daughter had a friendship with prior to cutting things off. So a jealousy thing.

The school administration is going to interview all students involved, speak to parents and the resource officer took the photos of the pizza order receipts and is going to contact the pizza places and try to trace the orders. one of the students involved in this has already been moved to a different lunch hour than my daughter. And for now, the harassment seems to have stopped. The school administration was adament that they will find out who is behind the harassment and they are taking it very seriously. only thing I hope is that there isn't further retaliation against my daughter for speaking up and telling admin about it. But I feel we had a duty to make the school aware of everything in case it were to escalate and anyone who wants to hate my daughter for speaking up is a piece of garbage anyway. Plus we weren't going to just sit here silently and take the abuse.
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  #9  
Old Mar 25, 2022, 08:45 AM
ArtleyWilkins ArtleyWilkins is offline
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I'm glad to hear your meeting went well and that administration appears to be working on it.

My guess is that for the most part this will be the end of things. Students tend to become quite contrite when they realize the adults in the room are on to them and watching, particularly when their own parents and law enforcement have been called in.

The kids involved may continue to give dirty looks and perhaps say things to other students if they think they can get sympathy for themselves, but the actual pranks and direct harassment will probably ease up because they know direct actions/attacks will be dealt with. If your daughter can do her best to just ignore the looks, etc., they'll lose interest and move on. Any direct problems, however, need to continue to be reported (just in case they are slow learners).
Thanks for this!
Bill3, lovethesun, poshgirl
  #10  
Old Mar 25, 2022, 09:37 AM
Bill3 Bill3 is offline
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Great job handling things!
Thanks for this!
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  #11  
Old Mar 25, 2022, 11:20 AM
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lovethesun lovethesun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins View Post
I'm glad to hear your meeting went well and that administration appears to be working on it.

My guess is that for the most part this will be the end of things. Students tend to become quite contrite when they realize the adults in the room are on to them and watching, particularly when their own parents and law enforcement have been called in.

The kids involved may continue to give dirty looks and perhaps say things to other students if they think they can get sympathy for themselves, but the actual pranks and direct harassment will probably ease up because they know direct actions/attacks will be dealt with. If your daughter can do her best to just ignore the looks, etc., they'll lose interest and move on. Any direct problems, however, need to continue to be reported (just in case they are slow learners).
Thank you so much Artley! I appreciate all your advice! The administrators told us their door is always open and to contact them immediately if there is any further bullying behavior or any further incidents of harassment. They are keeping notes on this and want to know of any further incidents immediately. So I think we've got this under control. I've told my daughter to just ignore the dirty looks and don't talk about this with any other students. I also told her to keep her eyes and ears open and tell me anything she hears or sees. I reiterated to her that none of this is her fault.
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  #12  
Old Mar 25, 2022, 11:21 AM
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lovethesun lovethesun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3 View Post
Great job handling things!

Thank you Bill3! Your compliment means the world to this battle weary parent.
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  #13  
Old Mar 28, 2022, 10:17 AM
poshgirl poshgirl is offline
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Yes, you have handled it very well.

Often it's difficult to seek help because it could generate more hostility towards your daughter. Hopefully, the perpetrator will be found quickly and dealt with appropriately.

It's a strange world when we can't show someone some love without being ridiculed just because the recipient is different.
Thanks for this!
lovethesun
  #14  
Old Apr 03, 2022, 01:15 PM
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lovethesun lovethesun is offline
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***UPDATE #3****

It's been a week since our meeting with the principal. one of the "suspects" was taken out of my daughter's lunch hour and was seen sitting in the hallways with a teacher during lunch. This was the case for about 4 days, and now this "suspect" is back in the lunch room. this is the person I've suspected of being the one behind the harassment but never had any proof to show it. the principal has not been back in contact with me to tell me if they ever figured out who was behind the harassment. Should I be bold and call and ask her? I have my suspicions, but hearing a confirmation would be nice. or should I let this lie as the harassment has stopped?
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  #15  
Old Apr 04, 2022, 05:34 PM
ArtleyWilkins ArtleyWilkins is offline
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They cannot discuss other students with you. The most they could say is a vague “we investigated and have handled the issue” kind of answer.
Thanks for this!
lovethesun
  #16  
Old Apr 04, 2022, 06:04 PM
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Buffy01 Buffy01 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovethesun View Post
Many probably saw my previous post regarding my daughter and her group of so-called friends that have turned toxic. The pattern of harassment seems to be continuing. Yesterday, someone phoned in a fake order to a pizza place and put it under my daughter's name and our address. It was a $200 order. They made it a cash order to avoid credit card identification and marked it as delivery. They used another kid's name from the school as the "orderer" and used a fake number for him. We declined the order but my daughter was horrified and upset. This is wreaking havoc on her self-esteem. many things go through my mind with this situation. First, how do you catch someone and punish them for this when they stay in the shadows and use other peoples names and addresses to file fake orders and reports? There's no proof to go to police with because we don't know who is doing this. Second, they know our address. Very scary to me! I'm terrified that this could escalate to someone filing a false report with a SWAT team who would show up at my house and blast through our door. or worse, this disturbed person could have someone else show up at our house to do worse things. And if I go to the school administration and just name all their names, will this demon in the shadows retaliate? This is a nightmare. I don't know how to handle it. I just wish this person would go away and leave us alone. My daughter is a quiet kid who's only offense (if you can call it that) was sticking up for a disturbed kid at school.
It sound like your daughter is being stalked by someone who has become obsessed with her and your family. Have you consider relocating and changing your name as a precautious? Have you consider hiring a private investigator?
__________________
Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
  #17  
Old Apr 04, 2022, 06:07 PM
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Buffy01 Buffy01 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovethesun View Post
***UPDATE #3****

It's been a week since our meeting with the principal. one of the "suspects" was taken out of my daughter's lunch hour and was seen sitting in the hallways with a teacher during lunch. This was the case for about 4 days, and now this "suspect" is back in the lunch room. this is the person I've suspected of being the one behind the harassment but never had any proof to show it. the principal has not been back in contact with me to tell me if they ever figured out who was behind the harassment. Should I be bold and call and ask her? I have my suspicions, but hearing a confirmation would be nice. or should I let this lie as the harassment has stopped?
Have you consider asking the police if they could have someone go undercover at your daughter school to see who it might be?
__________________
Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
  #18  
Old Apr 04, 2022, 06:30 PM
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lovethesun lovethesun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Buffy01 View Post
It sound like your daughter is being stalked by someone who has become obsessed with her and your family. Have you consider relocating and changing your name as a precautious? Have you consider hiring a private investigator?

Thank you Buffy. I did consider the possibility that it's someone acting out due to an obsession. The intensity of the behavior of the person doing this stuff caused me to wonder if it's some kind of misguided attraction of some sort. The resource officer at the school is also a police officer and the principal has gotten him involved so technically the police are a part of this. I also know some of the local police officers know the resource officer at the school well. So I feel like if we had to pursue further action with police involvement it would be easy to do. The principal said she will make sure my daughter is safe. All of the aggression has stopped since our meeting with administration. I'm going to leave things as they are now. However, if anything further happens I will be back on top of it immediately and my daughter texts me from school everyday telling me everything she sees and hears.
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