My wife is a conspiracy theorist and it's destroying our marriage

I'm with AzulOscure on that one. Paranoia can be a sign of the onset of schizophrenia, for instance. If you could get her to see a psychiatrist, that might be worth it. Or go see one yourself, perhaps they have some tips for you.

Don't look down on her though. She has a right to her paranoia, even if it messes with both her own, and your and your son's life. I have a friend who left the country with her husband and kids, to live in a country she doesn't speak the language of, because there they can homeschool the kids. They don't want to wear masks, or get vaccinated. The have a fountain in tha garden and a solar system installed to be independent. We talked about her going to therapy (not because of her believes, but because of her abusive childhood), but she fears they will take the kids away. I'm not sure that fear is unreasonable. And I love her, she has every right to think and decide as she does. We talk about all of it. I do agree with some things, also. I am vaccinated, but I don't agree the state has a right to force people to get vaccinated, for instance.

My point is if you are embaraced because of her, that is really your issue, not hers. But it would be good regardless to ensure she is just changing, not heading into serious mental health issues. If you don't want to stay, it is of course your right to leave, but it is not your right to demand she stay the person you married 20 years ago. And you can share custody, of course

I completely disagree - when an issue becomes intrusive to a marriage and life, it's an issue. It's not a matter of whether she has any right. It's that her beliefs are isolating her from friends and family and have become problematic. She is ostracizing everyone from her because of her beliefs. And her beliefs arose after a major life event that impacted her negatively. And I don't think the OP is demanding that she be the same person he married. He wants the person he once loved and she has changed to the point where he can no longer relate to her. That's a problem. If you yourself are a believer in conspiracy theories, then it makes sense that you would defend her right to believe these things. Sure, she has a right I guess, but at what expense? It's ruining her entire life and marriage. That's a problem, so the way I see it SHE'S the problem, not him or what he thinks of this whole situation.

If you have minor children you can’t possibly argue that you have rights to do absolutely anything regardless how it effects them. That isn’t how it works.

Of course if her paranoia is caused by mental illness then she has a responsibility to seek help and proper treatment. When you become a parent, your rights to do whatever the heck you want are suspended at the very least until their are grown up.

Saying “she has rights for her paranoia even if it messes with her son’s life” is just quite awful. It sounds extremely irresponsible. That’s not how parenthood works at all

I agree 100% with divine.

I understand and I hear you guys. For the record, I am not a believer in conspiracy theories, I am a believer in everyones right to have an opinion of their own. She has a right to hers, no matter what. I agree that her paranoia (or whatever) causing troubles with the state and the police is an issue and she absolutely has a responsibility not to cause that sort of disruption to her son's life. But she does not have a responsibility towards her son regarding keeping her friends or staying this side of the public opinion. A parent is always also a parent, never solely a parent.

The expense her belief causes her is for her to weigh, not us. That holds true no matter whether it refers to political or religious or any other type of belief.

Going through a tough condition, right?

If a parent is ALIENATING family and friends due to their beliefs, don't you also think that is not being a good role model for a son? Isn't it the parent's responsibility to be a proper and good role model? In my opinion, writing letters to oust the chief of police, blasting social media with your extremist opinions, losing friends to the point of having NONE and alienating your own husband and his family members is NOT being a good or proper role model. Your beliefs in someone having the right to an opinion are harmful, in my opinion. Her opinions and beliefs are to the extreme, and that can actually harm a child's development.

Well, we disagree, Have Hope. While I am not saying that believing that Bill Gates is implanting chips in us when we get vaccinated against a fake virus is very helpful(to be clear, I don't think corona is fake at all, nor do I believe Bill Gates to have the power or interest to do such a thing), historically accurate statements (such as the earth being round, not flat) have upon occasion proven to be correct, though they started out as being seen as incorrect. As such I applaud people who think for themselves, even if I don't agree with much of what is currently flaunting social media. I don't care if they are parents. Galileo was a parent. He did us a great service.

I think the current environment is toxic. A democracy grows by promoting it's citizens right to their opinion. The current culture in the west is killing that fundamental atmosphere of open communication and discussion.

Well, we can agree to respectfully disagree then. And I don't think one single conspiracy theory has ever been proven to be correct. Not to my knowledge at least, or else we would all be one.

I like that High Five!

15 Conspiracies That Turned Out to Be True

Note: I’m not supporting belief in conspiracy theories at all and certainly not the context of the OPs family issue but it’s truth that there have been cover ups and lies throughout our history. It’s good to be aware of possibilities imo. There were dishonest things that happened throughout covid too, at least in the UK, a lot of contracts given to politicians associates. If we can see the thought pattern someone might be following we can talk to them about it.

I notice however that the OP Mr Bojangles hasn’t returned to this thread so I’m not sure at this point that it’s helpful to add anything. I do wish him well.

Here's what my favourite online therapist (and his wife) says about a related subject: