Challenging Family Relationships

Her age reflects a very different generation often with very deep cultural traditions that are not flexible and understanding as current knowledge about things/behaviors that are considered toxic and unhealthy.

This time, I did not have the intense meltdown. We did not have the “reward”. I eliminated that part of the toxic dance, the reinforcement.

Things are calm here, back to normal.

I realize part of the problem is that I experienced trauma with intimacy in a few key ways before him, and then in this relationship with him. It was not dealt with properly and I didn’t get the support I needed. It all got compounded worse.

My husband is willing to take a break from the intimacy and just let me exist here without the triggers. I just need some time without being triggered. I feel I can be alright if I avoid them.

I don’t know what will happen after that. I pray for more patience with him. I will look at it as he just has a very different way of seeing things and terrible communication skills.

It’s the strangest thing in the world. I have never seen another relationship like it, where we get along so well aside from a HUGE issue that makes me seriously ill.

I am sorry for my callous posts of recent on this thread. I am grateful and do value him. I’d say I feel ashamed (I do), but I don’t want to beat myself up.

I feel like I am making some progress.

@TishaBuv it’s ok to vent frustrations. You are correct in that it’s important to figure out how certain things trigger you that are part of your history. Part of personal healing is in understanding self better and that can take time and patience.

The other thing to come to terms with is the fact that others may not have the ability to understand us like we want. That can be due to brain wiring, something I have had to work around in my 42 years of marriage.

Thank you for all your emotional support. You rock, OE!

I live with and care for my 87 year old mother. I have grown used to her taking me for granted and treating my surviving sibling and even her dog better than she treats me. She is totally unappreciative. I found out today that she has betrayed my trust by revealing to several people what I told her in confidence. I’m so upset and hurt and angry. I feel like moving out and leaving her there to fend for herself with my sibling’s help. I won’t do that of course. I have too much character. So unnecessary.