Being someone who is supposed to wait for others to initiate contact

Gosh it looks like something I posted. Fellow introverts are certainly more comfortable with silence. After 30 years I still remember a guy I used to date who was so uncomfortable with silence! If I wasn't talking he'd ask what am I thinking about. It got to be so annoying. 10 years later I met someone who was perfectly comfortable with silence. As a matter of fact, someone he met just once ghosted him because he didn't talk enough on the first date! Well it takes time to get used to someone new, especially if an introvert.

Extroverts always butt into conversations and interrupt too, which is rude. I'm not sure but heard since introverts are in touch with their feelings, we have more empathy for others and pick up on non-verbal clues.

I can't say I never vent but will about something not personal, like how I had trouble getting through to customer service at the bank or something like that. Hopefully something most people would relate to.

You're right sometimes waiting is the best option, depending on the circumstances. Honestly I'm literally exhausted from chasing after people.


Unfortunately I don't think I mastered it and what little I did went out the window the last 3 years. (3 years?!!) My bs radar is rusty, due to the mostly isolation of the last 3 years. If I'm not around people or even talking to them, I get out of practice.

I think I posted that here or in a similar thread so sorry if repeating myself. It's just this subject is something I'm so adamant about: Communication. Say what you mean and mean what you say. It reminds me of that line from the song "Games People Play."

You said earlier about COVID and weird people, how they got weirder. I agree. There's always been weird people. But COVID made them even weirder, or made people weird who weren't that way before. This virus didn't just make people physically sick. It hit people mentally too.

And on that note, I'd have lost my mind years ago if not finding out others have similar experiences. That way I know it's not just me and it's a relief.

Putting my hand up, I think I got weirder - well more withdrawn anyway. On the surface I don’t appear to be but I definitely am doing less socially because I don’t want to. I wouldn’t reject anyone who came forward as a friend however.

I agree about being comfortable with occasional silences - to me it’s a sign of being at ease but some people can’t bear it and they jump to fill it. Often my brain is still processing stuff already said.

Same here, in some ways. I do want to do more socially but it has to be with the right people in the right places. And inexpensive. That's the hard part. I don't need more acquaintances, and what connections I thought I had weren't that at all. And it took COVID to bring that to light. If it didn't happen, I'd probably still think they were friends.

Yep introverts are definitely more in tune with their emotions, they seems to pick up on social cues better. It really is rude to interject yourself into conversations, not to sound rude but I've seen extroverts do that and some honestly seemed oblivious or just didn't care about the fact that they were clearly not wanted and they tend to assume friendships are closer than they really are which I used to have that problem at one point so I'm more understanding in that aspect.

In that aspect, yes I've become more socially withdrawn too. I started withdrawing after I learned some pretty painful lessons and of course Covid didn't help, I would never reject a friendship with someone else though.

Yes it's a good trait to have and I think it gives us an advantage.

Interrupting and talking over someone is similar or maybe the same. I think the latter is when someone talks at the same time you're talking, while an interruption might give you a few seconds before they butt in.

I bring it up because people do the latter a lot to me and I have to say "I'm talking" and they SHUT UP. Can't they see my lips moving?? It was really hard wearing masks because I have a soft voice but we're unmasked now. So SHUT THE EFF UP!!!!!!

Yep introverts definitely have an advantage in terms of reading social cues.

This is a bit off topic but still among the lines of people calling as they said they would. My hairdresser said in February she’s going out of town either in March and April but not sure for how long. She said she’d call everyone letting them know so they could see her before she leaves or wait until she returns.

Well I waited and waited, then called last week as it was mid April. She said “Oh I changed my mind, I’m going in May.” Well she SHOULD have told me. Thankfully she wasn’t booked for the rest of April as my hair is getting too long, lol.

Anyway even though I think she should have told me, it’s not a deal breaker. She has reasonable fees, does good work, and is close to home. So I’m letting it go, plus I don’t feel like looking for another hairdresser again. It seems this is how people are.

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Yeah that is annoying, I know they're probably not required to say anything but it would've still been nice to inform you. Yeah I wouldn't cut someone off just because they did that once or twice, now if it became a serious habit and it had some effect on you then a change would be necessary.

Yeah it was not professional and happened just once.

But I quit going to another hairdresser because she was always late or forgot about our appointment altogether. She never even apologized when late or explain. Her excuses, when given (rare), were lame. When I said I won’t come back because this has happened multiple times, she grabbed her purse and stormed out of the salon.

Another one didn’t show nor call to say she has to cancel. She later claimed an emergency and she was distracted. So I gave her the benefit of the doubt as these things do happen. So I gave her another chance and guess what, she pulled that again! She even confirmed it the night before! She didn’t apologize again as she knew it was pointless and I’m already looking for someone else again.

I’ve had a hard time finding someone and now that I’ve done that, I’ll keep going to this one unless she pulls the same crap. I don’t think she will because I told her about my previous ones and why I left them. They both did good work but I need them to be on time and have professional courtesy to call if canceling or running late…..

Thank goodness for this emoji as banging my head for real would hurt lol.

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Yeah it was unprofessional and the one who stormed out of the saloon was unprofessional too. I can understand not wanting to tell customers and even other coworkers about what's going on in your personal life but the way these hairdressers are going about it isn't very appropriate.

I’m not sure but I think another hairdresser I had before those was too involved with his customers. He was always telling me how he went to that person’s wedding or with that person to a concert or joined someone on their vacation. He once offered me a ride since I live on the way but said I need the exercise. That part is true actually lol.

After being a steady and loyal customer for years, he called me around 9pm the day before my appointment and said he doesn’t want to do my hair anymore. I tried to find out why but he was breaking up so much I couldn’t make much out (he was using his cellphone). I did hear “Good luck to you” and he hung up on me. I hate how he waited till the last minute to tell me that. And I hate calls that late from anyone.

I only made out something about his clients lives and I think he was pissed I never confided in him or got him in my personal life but I didn’t feel comfortable. He was yelling into the phone….I thought he was tell him stuff. I also think he was offended when I said he’s abrupt sometimes when telling me how to handle my hair. He then said “I’m not talking to you anymore.” So he finished my hair in silence but had to speak when I booked the next appointment. He could’ve told me then but maybe he’s too cowardly. He never apologized to me for his demeanor or say he didn’t realize he comes off that way or SOMETHING.

I think it was stupid for him to turn away steady business, since he’s self employed. I even accommodated him on occasions when he preferred cash!
And this is how I get treated. He did do good work and had reasonable fees but I’m not obligated to open up to him, if that’s what pissed him off. I’m just guessing as I don’t know what else it could be. I was on time, I knew about when I wanted my next appointment to be, etc.

Again I know I’m a bit off topic but I wanted to make a point that even a business relationship may not be as solid as you think.

In hindsight it’s funny but just in a dark humor way. I mean wtf??



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Oh yes in this scenario he was way too involved with his clients, he offended too easily as well. I find it so cringy when people open up about their personal lives whether it’s between coworkers or between employee and client, they act like they’re best friends. Most people really don’t care, although sharing positive stuff like weddings and graduations isn’t as bad as negative stuff. Overall, I agree that even professional relationships aren’t as solid as they seem.

I’ve always believed in that old adage, “Don’t mix business with pleasure”. I once had a hairdresser I went to for 27 years but then she retired and moved back East. She was a confidante and she shared some personal stuff with me as well. It was unique in that sense and the exception to not mixing business. Besides I didn’t socialize with her outside the salon. She was like a big sister.

I too cringe at oversharing between coworkers or boss and employee. Or client and customer. In other words I have boundaries whether they like it or not. Even in court you can plead the Fifth Amendment lol. The only thing I missed was he’s two years younger than me and it was great to talk to someone in my generation. There’s no one else and the people at the senior center are much older than me. And as a result they patronize me.



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I forgot to say I unfortunately recommended this guy to a lady before all this happened. Hopefully she didn’t go to him; I’d hate to bring him more business after he told me he doesn’t need mine.

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Yep I follow that adage too, most stuff is no ones business. Even in the rare times I do open up about something, I keep it very basic. For example, if a coworker asks how my weekend or summer was then I’ll say it was good. If they ask if I did anything fun, I just tell them either I chilled out at home which is what I usually do or vaguely mention I went somewhere like to a friend’s house or beach without going into detail.

Perhaps she didn’t stay long.

Or go at all.

I also keep stuff vague when talking about something I did. Or say nothing worth talking about then redirect the conversation to them. People love to talk about themselves.

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Yep same here since I don't want to divulge stuff no one gives a crap about.

I’m sure the receptionist at the dentist didn’t really give a crap about all these questions she was asking me. Stuff like am I retired, what books do I read, am I doing anything fun today, etc. Some of these things are striking a nerve.

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