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#26
Mar 17, 2023, 03:04 PM
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I have always doubted my mum had something, a personality disorder, cluster B perhaps. And she is haughty and is perfect in her own eyes.Yep,sure thing that everyone around her pacified her, put her on a throne, so to speak. She was able to put blinders on other's eyes.Once she decided to scapegoat me and put my sibling on pedestal as designated golden child,everyone else followed suit.
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 ArmorPlate108, Open Eyes, SlumberKitty
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#27
Mar 17, 2023, 06:34 PM
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Because the trauma started very early in the childhood and how others behaved in conforming ways towards the abuser,I lost trust in this world.
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| ArmorPlate108, Open Eyes
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#28
Mar 17, 2023, 09:20 PM
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From what you shared it’s not surprising.
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 ArmorPlate108, Mendingmysoul
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#29
Mar 17, 2023, 09:34 PM
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Most of the people who are adults have snippets of joyful memories during their childhoods ,they look back and chuckle and feel joy now.I have piles and piles of trauma.I need that hit of dopamine desperately. I try to find if I have had some joyful events back then.They are sparse,almost nonexistent.
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| ArmorPlate108, Open Eyes
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#30
Mar 18, 2023, 05:00 AM
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How old is your mother and grandmother?
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#31
Mar 18, 2023, 06:20 AM
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From what you have shared it really sounds like your mother is a narcissist and is the golden child of your grandmother.
These kind of individuals do not have the kind of awareness that you are asking about. They can’t be honest and genuinely remorseful. They lack the ability to have genuine empathy. Instead their empathy is faked and self serving for their own needs. |
| ArmorPlate108, Mendingmysoul
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#32
Mar 18, 2023, 11:13 AM
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Regarding my mom being the golden child of my granny...hmmm,I think all of them are golden children for my granny.I can for sure say,granny didn't play the sick game of favouritism. She was there for everyone of them.
Last edited by Mendingmysoul; Mar 18, 2023 at 12:02 PM. |
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#33
Mar 18, 2023, 12:01 PM
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And when I compare notes of dynamics between parents and children,i.e grandparents and their children v/s my parents and us.Its completely different.In our own family system,there were clear roles assigned, parentified scapegoat, golden child, forgotten child etc. It's not there in grandparents family system.I know all were treated equally. That makes it so confusing. Where did my parents get it from?
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| ArmorPlate108, Open Eyes
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#34
Mar 18, 2023, 12:23 PM
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What’s the age of your parents?
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#35
Mar 18, 2023, 02:19 PM
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My dad late sixties and retired.My mom I don't know.I know it's weird to say but that is a fact. I don't know the exact age of my mom,but when put two and two together, I assume she is in her sixties too.
I would like to add in this context that she maintains so much ambiguity around her age,date of birth and her health .I never had meaningful conversations with her, but remember some weird interactions regarding those aforementioned topics.Circular conversations and half truths.She mentioned many dates ,months or years as possible date of births to different people and always insisted the one on her Id's is a typo and she didn't care to correct it.If anyone insists to know she would say she forgot and she is forgetful about important things.Honestly she looks older to my dad. |
| Open Eyes
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#36
Mar 18, 2023, 03:32 PM
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Very vain women tend to hide their age.
Unfortunately a person can be raised in a loving home and still become very narcissistic. There is a lot of insecurity and jealousy with those who have a high level of narcissism. I noticed that in my piers, I’m 66. I saw parenting styles I did not agree with and a lot of self centered behavior in my generation. Hitting a child the way you describe? That’s deplorable and I am very sorry you experienced that. |
| ArmorPlate108, Mendingmysoul
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#37
Mar 18, 2023, 06:10 PM
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Nothing was off limits,when in rage to use as a tool.The whip disappeared mysteriously after she used it on me.Specially grannys place was a danger zone as she owned a lot of old fashioned tools that were family heirlooms.I remember granny had this switch she wielded to shoo away birds and small animals from the farm.It was used once and man ,do I remember that like it was yesterday. Granny got rid of that too.I wonder if granny was kinda getting rid of the evidence in case I died of injuries?
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| ArmorPlate108, Open Eyes
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#38
Mar 18, 2023, 07:11 PM
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There must be some kind of disorder in your mother that went unaddressed. They did not really know as much back then like they know today. Could be your mother was prone to have these meltdowns even as a child.
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| ArmorPlate108, Mendingmysoul
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#39
Mar 18, 2023, 08:50 PM
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I agree with you what you said about grannys generation. Most probably they were clueless.She seemed smart but naive in some ways.Granny never talked about my mom's childhood much.And my mom never did too.Its possible something's are swept under the rug by maintaining silence about her childhood.
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| Open Eyes
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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