The God complex

Mendingmysoul · Apr 28, 2023 at 10:32 PM

It is really unbelievable that parents damage and try to destroy their own children's lives. The grief never goes away.I may feel better if I get a hug from my parents and a genuine apology for what they have done to me.But I don't think that is ever going to happen. If they accept that they have caused damage to me, that makes them imperfect. In their own eyes. They are more than perfect and never made mistakes and they believe it strongly. They are haughty and put themselves on high pedestal. They suffer from" God complex".

jesyka · Apr 28, 2023 at 11:16 PM

Sorry to hear that. Your parents sound like mine do. They are both narcissistis. They act like children ar times with tantrums, denial & more.

TishaBuv · Apr 29, 2023 at 06:46 AM

Same goes for me, too.

I don’t think they tried to ruin my life, though. It’s more just a case of they are who they are, and I am just a byproduct of that. They didn’t care enough about me to try to ruin my life. They certainly did not give any thought to the idea that they are harming me in any way. I was not a separate identity to them that was even seen that way.

The whole family has distanced themselves from my mother. Her response to this is to say she has bad daughters (which she says directly to me every time I call, like the good daughter I am). She would never consider that she is a bad mother.

Pinny · Apr 29, 2023 at 08:10 AM

I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this

.

I can relate to this too, sadly.

I went through a period of grieving about the loss of the mother I never actually had but always hoped I had. It still bothers me sometimes but I’m dealing with it in a much healthier way.

My husband has noticed it too, he is very supportive which is helpful.

Do you have someone in your life that you can open up to or vent to about this? It really helped me when I was going through the worst of my grief.

Blueowl · Apr 29, 2023 at 08:27 PM

It sounds very painful. I have met people in my personal life like that and as for me, I had expectations of them that were unrealistic. I try to take care of myself and avoid these people. It's hard, especially them being a part of your immediate family. I've been trying to take care of myself rather than seek for something I won't get, but it still sucks.

Mendingmysoul · Apr 29, 2023 at 09:56 PM

I am sorry jesyka,that you too have narcissistic parents.My mom throws tantrums and behaves like a toddler. My dad gets pouty and gives silent treatment if does not get his way.

Mendingmysoul · Apr 29, 2023 at 10:07 PM

I am so sorry TishaBuv that you went through similar childhood like me.For long I thought my parents were naive and they caused damage not knowing they were doing it.I was on denial because my own mind couldn't accept the fact.How can a parent destroy her child's life?My own mind explained it away being naivety. But eventually I had to come to terms with the reality.My parents acted with intent.There was active smearcampain. They isolated me from my siblings and extended family and friends. They told everyone I was a difficult child.And heck,they gave away my personal details to my stalker.Because he was being nice to them and he was a faux son to my parents.

Mendingmysoul · Apr 29, 2023 at 10:21 PM

So sorry Pinny,you too are experiencing grief and loss.For long I thought all of us children were treated bad.I tried to share my feelings with my sibling, not realizing she was the golden child. She got angry at me and told me mom was a good mother.I was so confused by her reaction.I then really thought I must be really a bad child and unlovable. If she was a good mother,but treated me bad,then I must really deserve it.I felt worthless.Not until recently, when I read about narcissism, that I realized I was the scapegoat and my sibling is the golden child.She was treated well that's why she got defensive when I talked about my parents.She was treated differently. Since then I didn't dare speak out to anyone else in real life.More over my parents are very nice outside the home,even to strangers. That makes it hard to tell on them to outsiders because they only see the good side.My parents have carefully crafted their fake nice images for the world to see.

Mendingmysoul · Apr 29, 2023 at 10:30 PM

Yes it is very painful 2ndDivorce, I too try to take care of myself.I have zero expectations and I know they will not change.But when the wave of grief hits,it thrashes me like a wave of tsunami. I try to distract myself, but feel helpless sometimes.It helps when I write here and when the compassionate posters respond.It truly helps.

Tart Cherry Jam · Apr 29, 2023 at 10:37 PM

haughtiness puts me off, too! I have experienced in both with parents and non-parents and both times it hurt a lot. I am sorry you are suffering, MMS.

Mendingmysoul · Apr 29, 2023 at 11:04 PM

I am quite the opposite of what my parents are, specially my mom.I am simple minded and a truth seeker. May be that's why I am hated by them.

TishaBuv · Apr 30, 2023 at 07:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mendingmysoul

I am so sorry TishaBuv that you went through similar childhood like me.For long I thought my parents were naive and they caused damage not knowing they were doing it.I was on denial because my own mind couldn't accept the fact.How can a parent destroy her child's life?My own mind explained it away being naivety. But eventually I had to come to terms with the reality.My parents acted with intent.There was active smearcampain. They isolated me from my siblings and extended family and friends. They told everyone I was a difficult child.And heck,they gave away my personal details to my stalker.Because he was being nice to them and he was a faux son to my parents.

When parents taught you can’t trust them, this insecurity then extends to everyone else. It’s hard to trust anyone, if one can’t even trust their own parents to love them and have their back.

How are you with other relationships now?

Mendingmysoul · Apr 30, 2023 at 03:04 PM

Yep,I agree what you said about trust.I do have trust issues and have hard time trusting anyone.The insecurity has seeped into other aspects of my life for sure.I cannot show my vulnerable side to anybody because of trust issues.I don't speak out about my abuse in real life in fear of judgement. So I walk around with this gigantic weight in my heart.

Fuzzybear · Apr 30, 2023 at 03:15 PM

I can relate to this too (sadly)

(the parental units and their ''God complex''

)

Also unbelievable deceit and a smear campaign against me.

It has caused trust issues and more.. (who can I trust if they s. me over like that with such callous indifference

Mendingmysoul · Apr 30, 2023 at 03:18 PM

I am sorry Fuzzy that you have the same experiences. Hugs.

Pinny · Apr 30, 2023 at 03:35 PM

I’m so sorry to hear of your and every one else’s pain in this thread. It’s so heart breaking.
I completely understand about not trusting people, I struggle with that too. When the relationship you’re supposed to be able to depend upon the most is tarnished, how can you trust anyone?
But the good thing is, that there are good people out there. So I urge you to keep looking, if you feel able to. Friends, partners, family, whoever they are, there is someone.

I too have the whole thing that my siblings have been treated differently. My mum is proud of them, but me, Im a disappointment. I work in mental health and my mum actually said to me “I don’t know why you work with “those people””. And that is the reason I can never tell her of my bipolar disorder. Even though she knows it’s in our family.
It’s so sad

Mendingmysoul · Apr 30, 2023 at 08:55 PM

I am so sorry Pinny,that you too were treated differently. Narcissistic parents play favourites and like to put wedges between their children,so as to have total control over everyone. I agree there are good people in this world.I do have a few good people in my life,whom I want to keep.I don't confide too many details of my life because I don't want to scare them away or burden them.I keep a courteous relationship..If in pain I prefer to sob into my pillow alone.

ArmorPlate108 · May 01, 2023 at 03:37 PM

Someone once told me something along the lines of what Tisha Buv said, which is that it wouldn't matter who you are, they would have treated you the same way. There was probably nothing you could have done to alter the treatment. If one of your other siblings had been born in the # position that you were, they likely would have been the scapegoat. That may vary slightly diending on boy versus girl, but not by much.

Don't know why, but that made me step back and realize just how much it isn't me. It still hurts because who doesn't want to be loved and accepted by their parents?

Mendingmysoul · May 01, 2023 at 07:58 PM

Probably true Armorplate108, now thinking about what you said I remember wailing in emotional pain not knowing what else I could do in order to stop it all.Yep,anyways it could've happened, come what may. I feel like I have a cursed existence .Not only that it hurts not having love and acceptance, it also has a domino effect of getting abused by siblings and extended family. When others see parents don't care,they become opportunistic abusers.It just becomes too much to bear as a child..Everyone taking turns to pounce on you.

Blueowl · May 02, 2023 at 02:51 AM

It pains me to read this. I have a close family member by marriage whose family had enough and disowned her. My family stopped talking to her decades ago. I watched a video on YouTube, one of the short ones, where this guy said you don’t need love and it hit me. These types of people don’t change. I, too, want to be accepted and loved and I believe that is normal. When someone does not offer it, and they can, to me, it’s cruelty. Many years ago I learned about co-dependency. I went to counseling for over a year during the demise of my first marriage because I was so sad. Now, my STX wants to drag the divorce and this is causing me anxiety because I want to break free.
Professional help may help but there are many resources out there that are free. Try not to give them power over you.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
I'm getting a complex	Aviza	Other Mental Health Discussion	9	May 16, 2020 05:05 PM
Getting a complex	PerryJeffJoeJimBob	Depression	5	Mar 06, 2018 02:48 PM
The complex is not a oedipus complex but what is it?	black-roses	Sexual and Gender Issues	2	Jul 06, 2016 07:13 AM
Really complex OCD?	Mr Lovejoy	OCD and Trichotillomania	2	Jun 12, 2011 08:13 AM

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

The God complex

My Support Forums

jesyka Poohbah Member Since Jun 2020 Location: U.S Posts: 1,280 3 270 hugs given	Apr 28, 2023 at 11:16 PM #2 Sorry to hear that. Your parents sound like mine do. They are both narcissistis. They act like children ar times with tantrums, denial & more.
	Reply With Quote

Blueowl Member Member Since Jul 2022 Location: West Posts: 423 1 142 hugs given	Apr 29, 2023 at 08:27 PM #5 It sounds very painful. I have met people in my personal life like that and as for me, I had expectations of them that were unrealistic. I try to take care of myself and avoid these people. It's hard, especially them being a part of your immediate family. I've been trying to take care of myself rather than seek for something I won't get, but it still sucks.
	Reply With Quote

Mendingmysoul Grand Member Member Since Aug 2019 Location: Here Posts: 907 4 807 hugs given	Apr 29, 2023 at 09:56 PM #6 I am sorry jesyka,that you too have narcissistic parents.My mom throws tantrums and behaves like a toddler. My dad gets pouty and gives silent treatment if does not get his way.
	Reply With Quote

Mendingmysoul Grand Member Member Since Aug 2019 Location: Here Posts: 907 4 807 hugs given	Apr 29, 2023 at 10:30 PM #9 Yes it is very painful 2ndDivorce, I too try to take care of myself.I have zero expectations and I know they will not change.But when the wave of grief hits,it thrashes me like a wave of tsunami. I try to distract myself, but feel helpless sometimes.It helps when I write here and when the compassionate posters respond.It truly helps.
	Reply With Quote

Tart Cherry Jam Magnate Member Since Mar 2021 Location: California Posts: 2,582 (SuperPoster!) 3 1,169 hugs given	Apr 29, 2023 at 10:37 PM #10 haughtiness puts me off, too! I have experienced in both with parents and non-parents and both times it hurt a lot. I am sorry you are suffering, MMS.
	Reply With Quote

Mendingmysoul Grand Member Member Since Aug 2019 Location: Here Posts: 907 4 807 hugs given	Apr 29, 2023 at 11:04 PM #11 I am quite the opposite of what my parents are, specially my mom.I am simple minded and a truth seeker. May be that's why I am hated by them.
	Reply With Quote

Mendingmysoul Grand Member Member Since Aug 2019 Location: Here Posts: 907 4 807 hugs given	Apr 30, 2023 at 03:04 PM #13 Yep,I agree what you said about trust.I do have trust issues and have hard time trusting anyone.The insecurity has seeped into other aspects of my life for sure.I cannot show my vulnerable side to anybody because of trust issues.I don't speak out about my abuse in real life in fear of judgement. So I walk around with this gigantic weight in my heart.
	Reply With Quote

Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,331 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Apr 30, 2023 at 03:15 PM #14 I can relate to this too (sadly) (the parental units and their ''God complex'' ) Also unbelievable deceit and a smear campaign against me. It has caused trust issues and more.. (who can I trust if they s. me over like that with such callous indifference __________________
	Reply With Quote

Mendingmysoul Grand Member Member Since Aug 2019 Location: Here Posts: 907 4 807 hugs given	Apr 30, 2023 at 03:18 PM #15 I am sorry Fuzzy that you have the same experiences. Hugs.
	Reply With Quote