Dislike birthdays

Anyone have a strong dislike for birthdays and the forced wishes that come with it? I don't like being the center of attention and the wishes are always so forced, coworkers and other people who barely talk to you suddenly act like they're great friends with you on your birthday. I also don't get into the hype and singing, it comes off as childish. I never remind people when my birthday is, if they ask then I tell them but I don't volunteer that information especially at work, it's one thing if a couple coworkers briefly say happy birthday and leave it at that but I think the whole hype around it is too much in a work environment.

Also I'm not the kind of person who gets offended if others forget, I know some adults who throw tantrums when their birthday is forgotten. There's nothing wrong with celebrating but I think it comes to a certain point where you really don't need to, you mature more and treat it as any other day. I used to love birthday celebrations as a kid and thought people who disliked them were weird but now I understand why people dislike them, now I understand what people meant when they say you can be too old for birthday celebrations. It doesn't come off as genuine, it comes off as intrusive and forced.

We have somebody at work who makes a big production with lavish themed parties for her birthdays, invites her coworkers (mostly men) to a restaurant celebration and she in her 40s. Kind of weird.

But in general I don’t care if people celebrate their birthdays or not. In some ways you are celebrating that you are alive one more year so it’s not a bad idea to acknowledge it. I’d not be having themed parties though lol

Yes I agree, themed parties is very weird. It's one thing to recognize that you've been around another year, maybe even have a small cake but an all out party with lots of attention and singing is inappropriate for adults.

I enjoy going out to lunch or dinner with my best friends (2 couples I am close with) & it is always laid back & relaxing. I hated birthdays when I was married. I am not a socialite so don't need crowds of people to make me feel ok & the people in my life now make me feel calm & comfortable

I agree, large crowds are unnecessary.

RD, you always seem to start good topics. I thought I’d see what you started lately. I have mixed feelings about this birthday stuff. Like you I won’t throw a tantrum if people don’t remember but nobody asks me when my birthday is anyway. One or two people remember, the ones that know. Like you, I don’t need a big fuss and singing and cheering. But it’s just nice to be remembered, to be acknowledged of your existence, for someone to be happy that they know you and that you were born.

As a kid, I never had a birthday party. How humiliating is that??! I never had enough friends to have a party as a kid or as an adult never had a surprise party either. Or any party. Ones at work didn’t count. As a kid I was also embarrassed about where we lived even if I did have anyone to invite.

As far as coworkers, I still remember how I used to work at a big company. And the department I worked in, how they used to have a tradition of having parties for birthdays. In hindsight, I see it was just an excuse to pig out on junk food. Like you said nobody genuinely cares about your birthday. At the time I joined the department I didn’t know of it. And I was blindsided by coworkers gathering to “celebrate”my birthday. There was food, balloons, etc. I didn’t even work with these people a week yet. It seems so phony. I wonder how many other people felt the same way.

Now that I’m getting older, I don’t feel too much like celebrating. But it would be nice to share a day with somebody who gives a F about me. But as you know, I’ve posted in your other threads about finding sincere friends. I’d rather be alone than have fair weather friends or acquaintances, pretending to care.

You’re right it’s not genuine and I think not all cultures make a big deal of it like we do. I once knew a woman who didn’t celebrate birthdays though she was American. There’s a kind of pressure to it if you have nobody to be with, yet people who already know ask what are you doing. It’s like the holidays, same bs.

I don’t tell people unless they ask as don’t want to come across as fishing for attention. I guess I could say it’s a low key thing but since nobody asks I don’t have that problem. Thanks for starting this as I got that off my chest.



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I can understand wanting to have birthday parties as a kid, I loved them when I was a kid and it's perfectly normal even though I didn't have friends to invite. Also I agree it's very phony when coworkers do it, that's fine if they want to bring food in for everyone to eat and at times I'll admit it's actually pretty good but the actual "birthday celebration" attached to it is forced and insincere. I also don't like fishing for attention either since it really does come off as looking for attention when you start telling everyone that it's your birthday, it makes you sound desperate and immature even if that's not your intention. I want anyone who does wish me a happy birthday to do so in an honest way because they actually remembered and they care, not because I told them which puts them on the spot and make them feel obligated to say something.

Wait until you get around 60. Another birthday is kind of like an anniversary to check your vitals. Birthdays work best with the very young or when you reach a milestone. After that, not so much. I can get discounts now for movie tickets, so that helps. (;

I’m 61 and still not “old enough” for most so-called “senior” things I care about or not seen as deserving of help. There’s arbitrary age restrictions for stuff like that.

I agree that it’s for the very young or milestone birthdays but even my milestone birthdays passed with little fanfare or attention. There’s cultural pressure to acknowledge certain ages which I hate. I don’t feel my chronological age. And when young or a kid you can’t wait to grow up. Then you wish you were younger.

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All true. I don’t tell people my birthday unless they ask. But then sometimes they expect me to tell them about my big plans.

I also want just sincere wishes and not obligatory wishes. And to remember on their own, without being told.

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I can remember quite vividly resenting being carded for alcohol when I was young. Now I ask to be carded as a joke.

Well I always looked younger than my age according to what I was told. I once was thought to be about 15 when I was 21. Pissed me off.

Now looking younger is a double edged sword. I’ve been told point blank that I don’t belong somewhere.

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I feel a bit embarrassed but I kind of like a small fuss being made of me

At work we celebrate the decade ones and my last biggie I got spoiled and Happy Birthday sung to me - it was genuine though and I have lovely colleagues. If I thought it wasn’t genuine I wouldn’t like it. I have my birthday hidden on Facebook for this reason - if people are part of my life they’ll know and if they aren’t then I’d rather they weren’t prompted by Facebook.

When I was younger I hated anything that made me the focus of attention so would’ve probably felt like you. I’m a certain mature age now lol,

It’s been so long since anyone has made a fuss over me, big or small. So I’d take it, birthday or not.

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Awww! You deserve a bit of a fuss every now and again.

Yeah I do.

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Oh in that case, that's pretty nice. Yeah I've heard of older people getting some perks for their birthday, always nice getting discounts.

[QUOTE=nonightowl;7337369]I’m 61 and still not “old enough” for most so-called “senior” things I care about or not seen as deserving of help. There’s arbitrary age restrictions for stuff like that.

I agree that it’s for the very young or milestone birthdays but even my milestone birthdays passed with little fanfare or attention. There’s cultural pressure to acknowledge certain ages which I hate. I don’t feel my chronological age. And when young or a kid you can’t wait to grow up. Then you wish you were younger.

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Yeah I've noticed some milestone birthdays are acknowledged more than others, it's weird how that works. Also I don't feel my age either, I also wish I was younger too.

Yeah I never have major plans for my birthday and I also don't go on about my plans when other people ask. I'm very calm when it's my birthday and just don't make a fuss over it. I even tell people I treat it like any other day on the calendar since that's what it is. The only other thing that annoys me at times is when someone finds out my birthday already passed and they ask me why I didn't tell them it was my birthday as if it was a bad thing that I didn't tell them.

Haha I can understand this.

Yeah I look like I could be in my late 20's.

Yeah I hide my birthday on my Facebook for the same reason. It forces people to wish you a happy birthday. One thing I'm okay with though are combined birthday celebrations where more than one person celebrates their birthday at the same time. I like this better because not all the attention is focused on you and only you.

Yeah I don't mind combining either. I've never gone on Facebook or Twitter and never was interested in doing so.


With the wisdom of someone decades older.


Yeah you don't have to tell them when it's your birthday. I'd be tempted to say "I didn't think you'd care." Because I don't have anyone anymore, I treat like any other day for that day (just another Sunday for example) except I try to pamper myself and focus on self-care. And avoid people since nobody knows or would care.

Yeah I've been tempted to say that, the most I ever did say way I didn't think to say anything. Basically sending a subtle message that I didn't think I needed to tell them, I can actually understand why older people get uncomfortable when others ask them about their birthdays especially if it's someone younger.

What do you mean by “older” people?

When I was younger I couldn’t wait to be older. Now it can wait, except when it comes to qualifying for stuff.

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