Thoughts on my life circumstances

I finally figured out why I attract losers it's because with my immature way of acting it makes sense that the sensible ones would be of putted by me. It's not so much the mental health issues but most men want a responsible woman that works and has her life together. Those sensible types would think I'm not reliable since I haven't held a job and would see the potential red flags. Also a sensible man even though I do have caring qualities would want someone more dignified and consistent. I don't behave my age and I think there's a part of me that acts younger than my age due to the fact I didn't have a childhood. So I think maybe subconsciously I'm behaving that way to be babied. Which is a very bad thing to admit but also this way of behaving isn't gonna get me far in terms of prospects. The fear is that I don't have the qualities to stay in a job. I see myself as a person with an impairment and I think that excuse makes me not try. When the fact yes I don't have a mental illness but no tests said I had an intellectual illness. So a part of it would be indeed my lack of will wanting to hold onto comfort.