Home Menu

Menu



advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
jesyka
Poohbah
 
jesyka's Avatar
 
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: U.S
Posts: 1,280
3
270 hugs
given
Default Aug 23, 2023 at 02:52 PM
  #81
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tart Cherry Jam View Post
I hope you get one of the FT jobs with benefits.
Thanks. Same here. It’ll be tough as most employers are cheap. I probably won’t get anything but a measly 10% discount working at a p/t job
jesyka is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Tart Cherry Jam

advertisement
rechu
Magnate
 
rechu's Avatar
 
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,222
8
1,040 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 23, 2023 at 06:36 PM
  #82
It's understandable to be anxious. At the same time, I think you need to try and it's admirable that you are. It doesn't sound like you can trust your husband, and him not having any savings is concerning. From what I've read about the U.S. lately, it sounds like there's a worker shortage in quite a few sectors, so that should work in your favor.

Last edited by rechu; Aug 23, 2023 at 07:05 PM..
rechu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Tart Cherry Jam
divine1966
Legendary Wise Elder
 
divine1966's Avatar
 
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,384 (SuperPoster!)
9
1,277 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 23, 2023 at 07:46 PM
  #83
Quote:
Originally Posted by jesyka View Post
Thanks. You’re right about what you said. Even if I started working now, I won’t make enough to live off let alone save toward our retirement. I made a huge mistake not doing anything about things sooner.

If one or both of us gets sick or injured, we’re screwed. What would be our options then?

For my husband, he had HIS family to fall back on. He could go live rent free in Israel on the kibbutz. I would HATE it thete as the people are cliquey & there’s not much privacy there, I can’t stand his mother, and I don’t speak the language.

Hopefully nothing will happen to him. I can barely care for myself as it is. Thank goodness that I never had any kids! I always knew that would be the worst decision that I could ever make for myself l! I’m so glad that I didn’t succumb to pressure from my husband, my family & society.
Most people in Israel speak English. It’s ok not to speak Hebrew. But you could take a class. It’s a hard language to learn but never too late to start.

He is 60. His mother can’t be that young. Do you really think she’ll be alive by the time he is too old to work? I

Are you 50? My mother completely changed her career path at 51. It’s never too late. Your SS certainly will increase if you start working. If you don’t even have 10 years of work in your entire life you have a power to change it

Well if you will have no where to live and nothing to eat, kibbutz would look like paradise. Id not be knocking it.
divine1966 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
divine1966
Legendary Wise Elder
 
divine1966's Avatar
 
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,384 (SuperPoster!)
9
1,277 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 23, 2023 at 07:53 PM
  #84
Quote:
Originally Posted by jesyka View Post
Thanks. Same here. It’ll be tough as most employers are cheap. I probably won’t get anything but a measly 10% discount working at a p/t job
It depends. I think previous poster meant health care benefit, not discount. You do need health insurance.
divine1966 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
divine1966
Legendary Wise Elder
 
divine1966's Avatar
 
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,384 (SuperPoster!)
9
1,277 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 23, 2023 at 07:57 PM
  #85
If you have difficult time with interviews you’d really benefit from disability vocational service. They’ll help you.

It’s nice to make friends at work but most people work because they have to eat, not because they want to make friends. Work is a necessity unless one is independently wealthy.

Ton of jobs don’t require much interaction and shyness isn’t a factor.

If people who needed companions for elderly didn’t call you, you call them . Don’t wait
divine1966 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
jesyka, rechu
jesyka
Poohbah
 
jesyka's Avatar
 
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: U.S
Posts: 1,280
3
270 hugs
given
Default Aug 24, 2023 at 12:13 AM
  #86
Quote:
Originally Posted by rechu View Post
It's understandable to be anxious. At the same time, I think you need to try and it's admirable that you are. It doesn't sound like you can trust your husband, and him not having any savings is concerning. From what I've read about the U.S. lately, it sounds like there's a worker shortage in quite a few sectors, so that should work in your favor.
I don’t trust him.
jesyka is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
jesyka
Poohbah
 
jesyka's Avatar
 
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: U.S
Posts: 1,280
3
270 hugs
given
Default Aug 24, 2023 at 12:18 AM
  #87
Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Most people in Israel speak English. It’s ok not to speak Hebrew. But you could take a class. It’s a hard language to learn but never too late to start.

He is 60. His mother can’t be that young. Do you really think she’ll be alive by the time he is too old to work? I

Are you 50? My mother completely changed her career path at 51. It’s never too late. Your SS certainly will increase if you start working. If you don’t even have 10 years of work in your entire life you have a power to change it

Well if you will have no where to live and nothing to eat, kibbutz would look like paradise. Id not be knocking it.
I’m afraid that we might end up living there in the near future if we end up loosing our house maybe. Right now he says we’d end up in a crappy area, ugh.

Hopefully that won’t happen. I would rather not live mear his friends & family. They annoy me. Most of them ignore me.

I have tried learning Hebrew, but it is an extremely difficult language to learn. I wouldn’t want to live in an area to where suicide bombings & fighting occur
often too.

And of course I’d miss being around the friends I have here.
jesyka is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
jesyka
Poohbah
 
jesyka's Avatar
 
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: U.S
Posts: 1,280
3
270 hugs
given
Default Aug 24, 2023 at 12:18 AM
  #88
I’m 51 btw.
jesyka is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
divine1966
Legendary Wise Elder
 
divine1966's Avatar
 
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,384 (SuperPoster!)
9
1,277 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Crazy Aug 24, 2023 at 07:12 AM
  #89
Quote:
Originally Posted by jesyka View Post
I’m afraid that we might end up living there in the near future if we end up loosing our house maybe. Right now he says we’d end up in a crappy area, ugh.

Hopefully that won’t happen. I would rather not live mear his friends & family. They annoy me. Most of them ignore me.

I have tried learning Hebrew, but it is an extremely difficult language to learn. I wouldn’t want to live in an area to where suicide bombings & fighting occur
often too.

And of course I’d miss being around the friends I have here.
Why would you lose your house? Your husband can’t afford it? You might need to downsize. Two people with no kids could live in a small place

Yes Israel isn’t an easy place to live. I am just saying that if you have no source of income you might have no choice where to live.
divine1966 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
rechu
Magnate
 
rechu's Avatar
 
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,222
8
1,040 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 24, 2023 at 09:33 AM
  #90
Living outside your home country isn't for everyone. It can come with a lot of challenges, especially if you don't speak the language. I've been living outside the U.S. for over 20 years. Generally, it's been a good experience for me, although the country is going in the wrong direction currently. I spoke the language before moving here, which did help a lot.
rechu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
jesyka
Poohbah
 
jesyka's Avatar
 
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: U.S
Posts: 1,280
3
270 hugs
given
Default Aug 24, 2023 at 10:30 AM
  #91
Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Why would you lose your house? Your husband can’t afford it? You might need to downsize. Two people with no kids could live in a small place

Yes Israel isn’t an easy place to live. I am just saying that if you have no source of income you might have no choice where to live.
Because he can’t afford to pay the iRS. And he’s behind in making the mortgage payments too. That’s what I’m afraid of. Israel definitely is not the safest plave to live in.

Hopefully we won’t end up loosing our house.
jesyka is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
jesyka
Poohbah
 
jesyka's Avatar
 
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: U.S
Posts: 1,280
3
270 hugs
given
Default Aug 24, 2023 at 10:31 AM
  #92
Quote:
Originally Posted by rechu View Post
Living outside your home country isn't for everyone. It can come with a lot of challenges, especially if you don't speak the language. I've been living outside the U.S. for over 20 years. Generally, it's been a good experience for me, although the country is going in the wrong direction currently. I spoke the language before moving here, which did help a lot.
Where do you live? That’s good that you speak the language.
jesyka is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
jesyka
Poohbah
 
jesyka's Avatar
 
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: U.S
Posts: 1,280
3
270 hugs
given
Default Aug 24, 2023 at 10:34 AM
  #93
Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
If you have difficult time with interviews you’d really benefit from disability vocational service. They’ll help you.

It’s nice to make friends at work but most people work because they have to eat, not because they want to make friends. Work is a necessity unless one is independently wealthy.

Ton of jobs don’t require much interaction and shyness isn’t a factor.

If people who needed companions for elderly didn’t call you, you call them . Don’t wait
I can wing it sometimes. Sometimes not. I understand that about work. My experience has been that hardly anyone ever tries talking to me which kind of hurts as I end up feeling rejected.

I mostly go to work to make money too. I tend to keep to myself too most of the time,

The job regarding the elderly person didn’t include a number, so I just emailed them.
jesyka is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
rechu
Magnate
 
rechu's Avatar
 
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,222
8
1,040 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 24, 2023 at 10:39 AM
  #94
Quote:
Originally Posted by jesyka View Post
Where do you live? That’s good that you speak the language.

Chile, at the end of the world.
rechu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
jesyka
Poohbah
 
jesyka's Avatar
 
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: U.S
Posts: 1,280
3
270 hugs
given
Default Aug 24, 2023 at 03:42 PM
  #95
Quote:
Originally Posted by rechu View Post
Chile, at the end of the world.
What’s it like over there?
jesyka is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Tart Cherry Jam
Magnate
 
Member Since Mar 2021
Location: California
Posts: 2,589 (SuperPoster!)
3
1,171 hugs
given
Default Aug 25, 2023 at 06:37 PM
  #96
Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post

Are you 50? My mother completely changed her career path at 51. It’s never too late. Your SS certainly will increase if you start working. If you don’t even have 10 years of work in your entire life you have a power to change it
You are 51, @jesyka. 51 is still young. I am 52. You can still change your future social security award in significant ways. There are at least more than 10 years ahead. There are many things to learn. You can take classes. I am not familiar with this area, but maybe the Employment Development Department and local adult schools have free or nearly free courses where you can learn skills so that you could work in jobs that require skills, earning above minimum wage. I think you will live longer without dementia if you challenge yourself in coursework and on the job. At 51 you can still start a new career. As they say, fifties are the new forties. And forties are the new thirties, etc.
Tart Cherry Jam is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
jesyka
rechu
Magnate
 
rechu's Avatar
 
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,222
8
1,040 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 29, 2023 at 08:03 PM
  #97
Quote:
Originally Posted by jesyka View Post
What’s it like over there?

That’s not so easy to answer. I guess like anywhere, it has its good points and bad points.

Geographically, it’s kind of like the West Coast of the U.S., but the other way around. The north is desert and the south is lush and green. There’s a lot of nature. We have the Andes and beautiful (although cold) beaches. Patagonia, in particular is amazing. The climate is also quite mild apart from the far south.

We have a lot of good, fresh ingredients for cooking like produce and seafood. The wines are also excellent. Chilean cuisine has typically been quite bland, but restaurants seem to be experimenting more. We also have a lot of Peruvian restaurants due to Peruvian immigration. Peruvian cuisine is considered one or the best in the world.

For a while we had been the most economically and politically stable country in the region and it was also among the safest. I quite liked living here.

Unfortunately, we had the so-called social uprising in late 2019. It was played up in the media as spontaneous. In the interest of not getting to political, all I will say is that it now doesn’t seem so spontaneous, more like an intentional attempt to destabilize the country. It was a very hard thing to live through – looting, burning and rioting. We had curfews and military guarding supermarkets.

Then, the pandemic hit and we had some of the toughest restrictions in the world. That was again a lot to experience.

Now, things are just sad. A new government took office last year. Since then crime has gone up, the economy isn’t growing and these issues aren’t being addressed. The problems felt in many parts of the world like inflation, a housing crisis and uncontrolled immigration have also intensified.

I am at least pretty fortunate in my personal situation. To buy a house, my husband and I moved out of the capital, which is experiencing the worst of the crime wave. I work from home for a U.S.-based company that pays in dollars and my employment situation is pretty stable. My husband’s work is also steady since he works for the government. Unfortunately, he’s working hybrid and has to go into the city weekly to a not too safe area.

We have a decent house, much better than where we were renting, and our neighborhood is gated with security. When we bought the house, security wasn’t a major consideration. Now it is. When we moved, we had hoped to go more to the city or have people visit here, but that really hasn’t happened. The long COVID lockdowns and curfews eliminated that option for a while. People are still not staying out too late, in part because of that habit, in part because things are less safe. The last few times I had to take the train in the city, I didn’t feel comfortable at the train station and that’s the main transportation to here.

Yeah, the last few years sound kind of depressing, but I try to focus on the positives. There are a lot of projects to do around here, like gardening, and we have our dogs and cats. This area is much more peaceful. We are able to do some exploring in our new area, which I appreciate. If we had stayed in the city, we’d never have get to know these places. I’m trying to convince some of our friends to do a day trip out here. If not, we have to go to the city next month, so I will see if I can meet up with a few people.

Well, that ended up being a novel. Going back to the US isn’t something I want, and my husband’s career is not exactly portable, So, I’m making the best of it all and hoping things get back to some normalcy in the coming years. Maybe we’ll check out Uruguay some day. He can practice his profession there.
rechu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
FloatThruThis
jesyka
Poohbah
 
jesyka's Avatar
 
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: U.S
Posts: 1,280
3
270 hugs
given
Default Aug 29, 2023 at 08:14 PM
  #98
Quote:
Originally Posted by rechu View Post
That’s not so easy to answer. I guess like anywhere, it has its good points and bad points.

Geographically, it’s kind of like the West Coast of the U.S., but the other way around. The north is desert and the south is lush and green. There’s a lot of nature. We have the Andes and beautiful (although cold) beaches. Patagonia, in particular is amazing. The climate is also quite mild apart from the far south.

We have a lot of good, fresh ingredients for cooking like produce and seafood. The wines are also excellent. Chilean cuisine has typically been quite bland, but restaurants seem to be experimenting more. We also have a lot of Peruvian restaurants due to Peruvian immigration. Peruvian cuisine is considered one or the best in the world.

For a while we had been the most economically and politically stable country in the region and it was also among the safest. I quite liked living here.

Unfortunately, we had the so-called social uprising in late 2019. It was played up in the media as spontaneous. In the interest of not getting to political, all I will say is that it now doesn’t seem so spontaneous, more like an intentional attempt to destabilize the country. It was a very hard thing to live through – looting, burning and rioting. We had curfews and military guarding supermarkets.

Then, the pandemic hit and we had some of the toughest restrictions in the world. That was again a lot to experience.

Now, things are just sad. A new government took office last year. Since then crime has gone up, the economy isn’t growing and these issues aren’t being addressed. The problems felt in many parts of the world like inflation, a housing crisis and uncontrolled immigration have also intensified.

I am at least pretty fortunate in my personal situation. To buy a house, my husband and I moved out of the capital, which is experiencing the worst of the crime wave. I work from home for a U.S.-based company that pays in dollars and my employment situation is pretty stable. My husband’s work is also steady since he works for the government. Unfortunately, he’s working hybrid and has to go into the city weekly to a not too safe area.

We have a decent house, much better than where we were renting, and our neighborhood is gated with security. When we bought the house, security wasn’t a major consideration. Now it is. When we moved, we had hoped to go more to the city or have people visit here, but that really hasn’t happened. The long COVID lockdowns and curfews eliminated that option for a while. People are still not staying out too late, in part because of that habit, in part because things are less safe. The last few times I had to take the train in the city, I didn’t feel comfortable at the train station and that’s the main transportation to here.

Yeah, the last few years sound kind of depressing, but I try to focus on the positives. There are a lot of projects to do around here, like gardening, and we have our dogs and cats. This area is much more peaceful. We are able to do some exploring in our new area, which I appreciate. If we had stayed in the city, we’d never have get to know these places. I’m trying to convince some of our friends to do a day trip out here. If not, we have to go to the city next month, so I will see if I can meet up with a few people.

Well, that ended up being a novel. Going back to the US isn’t something I want, and my husband’s career is not exactly portable, So, I’m making the best of it all and hoping things get back to some normalcy in the coming years. Maybe we’ll check out Uruguay some day. He can practice his profession there.
It sounds like a nice place to live with a few exceptions.
jesyka is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
rechu
rechu
Magnate
 
rechu's Avatar
 
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,222
8
1,040 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 29, 2023 at 08:57 PM
  #99
I've been able to set up a life that generally works for me, despite the negatives, which I am working on.

I've had inquiries from some people in the U.S. that want to come here now, and, honestly, I discourage it. Immigration is overwhelmed, so getting a visa takes forever. Without a visa and ID, you can't do basic things like set up a bank account.

The housing crisis also means that landlords are increasingly demanding. Many don't want to rent to foreigners. Even years ago when I arrived, it took some work to find a rental when my permanent residency was being processed. I'm glad we have our house now and don't have to deal with the rental market.
rechu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
jesyka
Reply



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
My husband took my nsme off our joint account w/o my consent, can he do that? jesyka Relationships & Communication 62 Jan 17, 2023 11:35 PM
Husband constantly accuses me of cheating.... pregnewlywed Relationships & Communication 0 Jan 12, 2014 12:48 PM
Controlling husband threaed to take my name off our joint account, help! Anonymous37893 Women-Focused Support 34 Aug 17, 2013 12:16 AM
Important: Husband accessed my account youOme Other Mental Health Discussion 13 Aug 23, 2008 07:40 PM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:50 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.