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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: U.S
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#141
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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: U.S
Posts: 1,429
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#142
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I understand that. No problem. |
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mote.of.soul
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
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#143
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To me, this is a made up story in your head. We can only speculate on what he did, without truly ever knowing what he was thinking. It's very logical to believe, however, that perhaps he assumed you were a groupie or made certain assumptions about you given how you were up front, that you were alone, and that you had approached the band before they started playing. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Tart Cherry Jam
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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: U.S
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#144
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I felt like I was being tested or toyed with. Like I said, I froze. I don’t understand why people on here can’t understand why I couldn’t just move. Have none of you ever froze before? |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
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#145
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It’s also pointless and actually dangerous to make up scenarios in your head just because you feel certain way. He coerced you to look at him, asked you to go backstage and have private time with you, you rejected him and he took revenge, he assaulted you and sexually harassed you etc But there’s zero evidence of any of it. Feeling certain way doesn’t mean that’s what happened |
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Have Hope
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
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#146
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Yes his behavior would make people feel awkward and uncomfortable but it doesn’t mean he wanted something with you backstage. I wonder if there is a reason you insist he wanted private time and you rejected him? Why do you insist that is what happened with no evidence? |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,799
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#147
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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: U.S
Posts: 1,429
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#148
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I have stayed away from the pit too. I have always stayed way off to the side as well. Things can still get crazy. What other precautions do you take to stay safe? I’d appreciate some tips that might be able to help me stay safe at shows. Although I have anxiety, I still enjoy going to shows. I didn’t completely disagree with other people. I misunderstood what some people said. I stated that a few times & apologized for that. What I’m upset about is having people call me delusional for making the wrong assumptions about his actions. I was there btw, so only I know what really happened too. Instead of callimg me delusional, it’d be nicer to say thst I made the wrong assumptions, but to call me delusional is rude, disrespectful & insulting. I’m receptive to comments, I’m just not receptive to being disrespected. I never expected anyone to agree with me. I simply didn’t understand or completely agree with some people about certain things. Example, this kind of behavior is normal. No, it is not normal, I’ve been to lots of shows in the past & this is the only time I’ve had had something like this happen to me. Also, I have not heard about this happening to other people as well anywhere. People kept trying to convince me that it is normal for some reason. I simply disagreed with them. I’m entitled to my personal opinion too. Disagreeing with why he did this doesn’t make me delusional. I already stated that I’m not entirely sure why he did that either. I didn’t state things as facts. Some people clearly misunderstood me. Only he knows why he did the things he did. None of us, myself included will ever know the truth for sure. I was just trying to get answers. And I was judged by a few people on here which is upsetting to me. I didn’t do anything wrong. I just failefd to react to the situation by moving away. Just because I misunderstood or disagred with other people about things doesn’t mean that I’m delusional or not taking their comments seriously. What am I supposed to do, say that they’re right about everything? Or agree with everything they told me? I can’t help it if I froze. Did no one on here ever freeze in up before? I don’t understand why everyone expected me to just move like it was that simple. |
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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: U.S
Posts: 1,429
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#149
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Making wrong assumptions doesn’t mean that I’m delusional though. I felt disrespected & insulted when you called me delusional before. Can you please not do that again? You could just say that I probably got the wrong impression about things, but delusional is a strong word. You probably wouldn’t like it if someone callef you delusional, would you? |
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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: U.S
Posts: 1,429
4 283 hugs
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#150
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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: U.S
Posts: 1,429
4 283 hugs
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#151
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We’re all wired to react differently that way. Some people fight, some flee, some freeze. Obviously I froze. I thought I already stated that I probably made the wrong assumptions. I didn’t keep insisting that he wanted me to go backstage with him anymore. I thought that was the case at first, but it’s not. And everything else was a wrong assumption too probably. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
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#152
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jesyka
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#153
Well to all honesty since you didn’t see/can’t remember what happened exactly, it might be best to move on from this event. It also might be best to not accuse people of assault if you didn’t see or/and don’t remember what exactly they did. Time to focus on the present.
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jesyka
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Location: US
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#154
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: USA
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#155
I haven’t read anyone calling you delusional. Just that your perceptions and assumptions are not seeming to be based on facts.
You spend lots of time trying to figure out what people were thinking or why they did something, but that’s just not something that can be answered. Instead, focus on what you can do differently to elicit more positive interactions with people. I mean, the only person we really can control is ourself. Someone suggested working (or training toward working) doing something that is interesting for you. It’s an idea. Building your own skills and interests will perhaps help you feel more comfortable in your own life and open doors for meeting people who share your interests. Gaining that level of independence should help your confidence too. Those types of changes will gain you that interpersonal respect you are looking for. |
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divine1966, jesyka, rechu, unaluna
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
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#156
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Also it does happen to other people. Several people on this thread brought up examples of extreme behaviors they personally witnessed during concerts. Behaviors very similar to what you witnessed. Does it make it normal? No. But it happens |
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jesyka
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,225
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#157
I never said you were delusional. I said it is a made up story in your head. There’s no evidence that he asked you back stage, yet you claimed this. There’s no evidence that he felt rejected by you, Yet you claimed this. Yes, these are false assumptions and imagined scenarios. But I never used the word delusional or called you delusional. I think however that you do exaggerate details and assume a lot of false things, ie that it was an assault, that he felt rejected so he did that to you, that he asked you back stage. None of this is supported by any evidence. I don’t mean to sound harsh and I know you said you feel judged. I’m not judging. I’m observing and am reflecting these observations back to you.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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jesyka
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,225
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6 3,681 hugs
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#158
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: U.S
Posts: 1,429
4 283 hugs
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#159
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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: U.S
Posts: 1,429
4 283 hugs
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#160
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Have Hope
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