Why did this rock star harass me?

Perhaps we’re all wrong about what his intent was. Maybe I was right, maybe not. Maybe other people are right, who knows. I’m only going off what I experience. That doesn’t exactly make me delusional. Only he knows why he did what he did.

Probably. Performers shouldn’t disrespect fans like this. It’s rude. It was univited too.

I understand that. No problem.

What makes you think there was an invitation to go back stage from him, when he did not verbally express this to you? Did he gesture for you to go back stage? Did he look directly at you while smiling and gesturing for you to go back stage? And what makes you think that he did what he did simply because in your mind, you were rejecting him?

To me, this is a made up story in your head. We can only speculate on what he did, without truly ever knowing what he was thinking.

It's very logical to believe, however, that perhaps he assumed you were a groupie or made certain assumptions about you given how you were up front, that you were alone, and that you had approached the band before they started playing.

Thanks. Cocered isn’t the right term then maybe. He definitely put me in an awkward position.

I felt like I was being tested or toyed with. Like I said, I froze. I don’t understand why people on here can’t understand why I couldn’t just move. Have none of you ever froze before?

That’s the whole point: only he knows. So when you create posts asking why random people did this or that decades ago all we could do is suggest you focus on your actions as there’s no way to know who did what years ago.

It’s also pointless and actually dangerous to make up scenarios in your head just because you feel certain way. He coerced you to look at him, asked you to go backstage and have private time with you, you rejected him and he took revenge, he assaulted you and sexually harassed you etc But there’s zero evidence of any of it. Feeling certain way doesn’t mean that’s what happened

Yes I felt frozen before and didn’t immediately reacted but no one forced you stay there. He couldn’t predict that

Yes his behavior would make people feel awkward and uncomfortable but it doesn’t mean he wanted something with you backstage. I wonder if there is a reason you insist he wanted private time and you rejected him? Why do you insist that is what happened with no evidence?

I’d say that since it happened over two decades ago Jesyka perhaps doesn’t remember all details herself. And she was very young. What she perceived then and what she remembers now and what really happened might be three very different things. And her perception of what happened was clouded by a combination of Valium and alcohol

I’m glad to hear that you had fun at those shows. Snd it’s good that you take safety precautions too.

I have stayed away from the pit too. I have always stayed way off to the side as well. Things can still get crazy.

What other precautions do you take to stay safe? I’d appreciate some tips that might be able to help me stay safe at shows.

Although I have anxiety, I still enjoy going to shows. I didn’t completely disagree with other people. I misunderstood what some people said. I stated that a few times & apologized for that.

What I’m upset about is having people call me delusional for making the wrong assumptions about his actions. I was there btw, so only I know what really happened too.

Instead of callimg me delusional, it’d be nicer to say thst I made the wrong assumptions, but to call me delusional is rude, disrespectful & insulting.

I’m receptive to comments, I’m just not receptive to being disrespected. I never expected anyone to agree with me. I simply didn’t understand or completely agree with some people about certain things.

Example, this kind of behavior is normal. No, it is not normal, I’ve been to lots of shows in the past & this is the only time I’ve had had something like this happen to me.

Also, I have not heard about this happening to other people as well anywhere. People kept trying to convince me that it is normal for some reason.

I simply disagreed with them. I’m entitled to my personal opinion too. Disagreeing with why he did this doesn’t make me delusional.

I already stated that I’m not entirely sure why he did that either. I didn’t state things as facts. Some people clearly misunderstood me. Only he knows why he did the things he did. None of us, myself included will ever know the truth for sure.

I was just trying to get answers. And I was judged by a few people on here which is upsetting to me. I didn’t do anything wrong. I just failefd to react to the situation by moving away.

Just because I misunderstood or disagred with other people about things doesn’t mean that I’m delusional or not taking their comments seriously. What am I supposed to do, say that they’re right about everything? Or agree with everything they told me?

I can’t help it if I froze. Did no one on here ever freeze in up before? I don’t understand why everyone expected me to just move like it was that simple.

OK, so I made a few wrong assumptions then probably. I FELT these things though. It seemed like that was what was going on.

Making wrong assumptions doesn’t mean that I’m delusional though. I felt disrespected & insulted when you called me delusional before.

Can you please not do that again? You could just say that I probably got the wrong impression about things, but delusional is a strong word.

You probably wouldn’t like it if someone callef you delusional, would you?

True. My mind was a bit hazy. I only recall that he was onstage mostly. I blanked in fear due to my anxiety when he approached me, so I didn’t see what he did exactly or recall what his facial expression was like.

Idk why I stayed there. I froze like I said. People don’t act logically st times when the flight, fight or freeze system kicks in.

We’re all wired to react differently that way. Some people fight, some flee, some freeze. Obviously I froze.

I thought I already stated that I probably made the wrong assumptions. I didn’t keep insisting that he wanted me to go backstage with him anymore.

I thought that was the case at first, but it’s not. And everything else was a wrong assumption too probably.

I am not questioning why you froze. We all do that at times. What I am saying “you froze” doesn’t equate to “him forcing you to stay and look up”.

Well to all honesty since you didn’t see/can’t remember what happened exactly, it might be best to move on from this event. It also might be best to not accuse people of assault if you didn’t see or/and don’t remember what exactly they did. Time to focus on the present.

I’ve never called you or anyone else delusional at all. Yes it’s a strong word and I’ve never used it whatsoever. Where do you see it?

I haven’t read anyone calling you delusional. Just that your perceptions and assumptions are not seeming to be based on facts.

You spend lots of time trying to figure out what people were thinking or why they did something, but that’s just not something that can be answered.

Instead, focus on what you can do differently to elicit more positive interactions with people. I mean, the only person we really can control is ourself.

Someone suggested working (or training toward working) doing something that is interesting for you. It’s an idea. Building your own skills and interests will perhaps help you feel more comfortable in your own life and open doors for meeting people who share your interests. Gaining that level of independence should help your confidence too. Those types of changes will gain you that interpersonal respect you are looking for.

I don’t think anyone says it’s normal. People said that similar extreme behaviors happen with some performers, but not that it is normal. No one said it’s normal.

Also it does happen to other people. Several people on this thread brought up examples of extreme behaviors they personally witnessed during concerts. Behaviors very similar to what you witnessed. Does it make it normal? No. But it happens

I never said you were delusional. I said it is a made up story in your head. There’s no evidence that he asked you back stage, yet you claimed this. There’s no evidence that he felt rejected by you, Yet you claimed this. Yes, these are false assumptions and imagined scenarios. But I never used the word delusional or called you delusional. I think however that you do exaggerate details and assume a lot of false things, ie that it was an assault, that he felt rejected so he did that to you, that he asked you back stage. None of this is supported by any evidence. I don’t mean to sound harsh and I know you said you feel judged. I’m not judging. I’m observing and am reflecting these observations back to you.

Agreed. It is rude. I would have felt the same way. Just want to also validate how you felt.

On a previous post. Sorry if I misunderstood what you said.

Thanks. It was very rude & inappropriate.