Why did this rock star harass me?

I know it. And it’s not my intention to make you agree with me.
Obviously I agree with you in that the better understanding and the more empathic people around us are, the better for us. One part of self-esteem involves also the input gotten from our surroundings, so yes, it helps.

You were asked if you were in the autism spectrum because you mentioned it in a thread? You never answered. It would be a good idea to treat this topic also with your therapist. It could be the reason why you find so hard to read social interactions however this is not the only cause.

There are self-defence mechanisms developed when kids while interact with the environment and are learnt and fixed to let us know how things work and survive. The problem is that some of these self-defence mechanisms are valid until we develop others that are more helpful as we grow, others have to be modulated so I stress again in the need you work this in therapy.

In relation to a reply you gave when you received good advices as to use the posts in this thread, people’s reactions and your own reactions, the pattern to figure out the interferences when relating to others…You replied as if relations among people could be limited to a group of norms and that’s it. In my opinion is sometimes a mistake because of overgeneralisations such as: Not going out alone. And sometimes they fall as short because each interaction takes place in a context. For example, what Disco mentioned about why this woman could have called your attention by touching you because of the noice.
I can’t say: I won’t let anybody to enter my own personal space under any circumstance. Because circumstances vary.

There’s something you repeated on several occasions: Disrespect. This happens when we are on defensive mood. And you have to work this. Obviously, if you are under this mood, any interaction is gonna fail and you are gonna suffer because you are gonna ruminate around it over and over again and get the feeling of angriness that you experimented at that situation.

Have you ever worked in therapy cognitive mistakes? It’s important to consider them. I know it’s not easy to break them down at the sudden. It takes time, I know it. But, are you familiarised with it?

It was loud in there, but not do loud to where I couldn’t hear her. What she did was unnecessary.

I specifically told her to leave me alone & she didn’t, so in that case, she could’ve been kicked out for harassing me.

I wasn’t dancing up front btw.

Disagreeing with people or misunderstanding certain things doesn’t mean that my reasoning is childlike or deficint at all.

I get upset when people are rude & disrespectful. Just because I’m normally shy & timid doesn’t mean that I won’t stand up for myself when I need to do do.

Do you expect shy timid people to never speak up for themselves? I’m confused here.

That lady was in my face and she wouldn’t leave me alone even after I specifically told her to stop touching me. When someone tells you to back off, you don’t continue to touch them.

No I don’t expect that at all but you often describe situations where you are being confrontational with people yet you state you are shy and timid. You also engage in situations which are uncommon for shy and timid people. I am not sure why you perceive yourself as timid.

That was not the point @TishaBuv was making. For example, one point she made had to do with your black and white thinking. You once again misunderstood her point as you misunderstood many points made on the thread and this clearly is present IRL for you.

Obviously no one witnessed what happened at these places. I’ll stand up for myself whenever someone is harassing me or being rude.

Just because I’m normally shy & timid who also happens to suffer from anxiety does not mean that I’m not capable of standing up for myself at times.

Why is that so hard to understand? When people piss me off enough, I get upset. I’m not trying to be rude, I’m just answering your question honestly.

I’m sick of being bullied & disrespected.

Also I honestly feel like I’m being judged, dismissed & not being taken seriously because I was drinking, and that I didn’t just move out if the way even when I couldn’t because I panicked, etc.

I explained all of that many times & people still didn’t seem to understand that it seems like.

Also, I don’t understand why people don’t understand how a shy person can ever be confrontational.

Are shy people always supposed to just be quiet at all times & never speak up at all? I honestly don’t get why people have these very bizarre perceptions of how people should & shouldn’t act.

It’s like peoples heads explode when you don’t fit into these neat little boxes or something like that, lol.

Being shy doesn’t mean that you’ll always be everyones doormat, lol 😆

@jesyka, I can understand how it may feel like judgment, but I don't see judgment or dismissal occurring. I don't think people are judging, dismissing, and not taking you seriously, and not because you were drinking. And, I think everyone is taking what you say seriously. A few people are simply reflecting their observations back to you. People are trying to help so that you can avoid having situations repeat themselves that become upsetting to you. Some people have made observations of your reactions on the thread and are trying to help.

I sense or feel like the issue has been resolved though? We hashed out what happened at the one club. You made certain decisions based on that experience on how you will approach similar clubs in the future. And next time, you are going with a friend.

How else can we support you in your thread? What else is needed here, or what else would you like to discuss and resolve, if anything?

The point I made was very clear. You (Jesyka) twisted it to deflect from yourself in order to say my point was incorrect. Then you say you misunderstood, when called out on it. You’ve done this about several comments from posters on your threads. It feels like you don’t want to acknowledge and take responsibility for any of your actions. But then you become flooded in the end and make radical statements about never doing again some of the things.

If we were just talking irl, we wouldn’t be pointing anything out about communication difficulties with you. Because this is a mental health site, and you posted about your issues, we got into these discussions. It may feel to you like you are being judged. It’s not judgment, it’s observation from people who are focused on mental health issues trying to help themselves and each other.

If we had such a difficult time communicating in-person, in a regular setting, we would just walk away and stop. I know you are here because you want to have better relationships, so that’s why we all tried to help.

I agree, the thread has run its course. I feel like I got something out of it for my own self improvement and I hope you did, too.

I was just putting an example. I can’t say what happened because I wasn’t there.

I only wanted to tell you that there are circumstances in each social interaction and applying a number of fixed norms won’t be suitable.