I get really upset and uncomfortable if someone doesn't call me love

emily1890 · Sep 05, 2023 at 03:39 PM

even if that person is only a friend.

to me, when they talk to me and don't call me love, it makes me feel that they are sick of me and want nothing more to do with me- and when I get emails from people, I always check to make sure it says hi love at the top (and recently I've been checking for kisses at the bottom of messages, too!)

is anyone else like this?, like you need to be called love or something to make your friendship feel like it means something

Tart Cherry Jam · Sep 05, 2023 at 04:25 PM

This is really unusual. On and off, I have read this forum a lot and have never seen anyone with this need be called love.

Tart Cherry Jam · Sep 05, 2023 at 04:26 PM

How many people do call you love in emails?

I only have one person in my social circle who is in that habit. And I have a wide enough social circle which includes many true long term friends.

divine1966 · Sep 05, 2023 at 04:59 PM

No. It’s unusual expectation

I call my husband that and my daughter calls hers. But not all the time. I don’t call anyone else that and no one calls me that. My husband prefers other forms of endearment.

I find term “love” is used more in UK than US but not like everyone calls all their friends that

Would it be ok if they called you something else affectionate?

eskielover · Sep 05, 2023 at 05:34 PM

Nope....I always hated "terms of endearment" because actions never matched which basically made the term meaningless. Even now that I live almost in the south no one around my circle of friends ever use those kinds of terms even the normal "Southern" ones

Nammu · Sep 05, 2023 at 06:06 PM

I’d be turned off if a friend called me love, or honey or anything else like that.

divine1966 · Sep 05, 2023 at 06:57 PM

My husband says I call him “love” when I am annoyed. “Love, why the shoes are in the middle of the hallway?” Lol

TishaBuv · Sep 05, 2023 at 08:32 PM

I don’t feel I need that much reassurance, but I can relate to feeling insecure and fearful about my close relationships.

Tart Cherry Jam · Sep 05, 2023 at 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

I find term “love” is used more in UK than US but not like everyone calls all their friends that

The man who sometimes call me "love" was college educated in the UK.

divine1966 · Sep 05, 2023 at 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tart Cherry Jam

The man who sometimes call me "love" was college educated in the UK.

Yeah it’s more common there.

SpaghettiLegs · Sep 06, 2023 at 01:26 AM

Like others are saying, in Britain where it's common but it's barely even a term of endearment, more likely they forgot my name. Here in the Netherlands I very rarely get called love, sweethear, dear. I think it's considered very sexist these days? My family also very rarely use the terms although I look for "I love you" at the end of a message or card, especially from my son. With family (son, siblings, parents) I'm guilty of convincing myself that they hate me or can't be bothered with me.

Discombobulated · Sep 06, 2023 at 02:37 AM

I think it depends on where you come from, and there’s huge regional variance within uk, I’ve heard dear, duck, pet (north), my lovely, hen (that’s Scotland) - personally I like it but enjoy the words and dialects more than implying any deep meaning. There’s only my husband calls me ‘my love’ and means it.

Do you talk to your friends about your liking to be called love?

Nammu · Sep 06, 2023 at 10:27 AM

I think the regional difference makes a lot of sense plus nationally. Not only am I a northern midwestern I’m from German-Nordic background which is not very demonstrative. I purposefully raised my daughter with lots of hugs and endearments that didn’t come naturally to me and she is very outgoing with her love, but because of where we live we don’t say or write endearments in print.

Molinit · Sep 06, 2023 at 12:46 PM

I think you’ll need to work on getting used to not hearing it too much in the future, as someone mentioned above, someone using that term in conversation can run into trouble, it’s way too familiar to use with most people and someone may object to being spoken to that way.

AzulOscuro · Sep 07, 2023 at 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emily1890

even if that person is only a friend.

to me, when they talk to me and don't call me love, it makes me feel that they are sick of me and want nothing more to do with me- and when I get emails from people, I always check to make sure it says hi love at the top (and recently I've been checking for kisses at the bottom of messages, too!)

is anyone else like this?, like you need to be called love or something to make your friendship feel like it means something

Emily, is this a custom among your friends?

The word love from what I hear is a term whose usage is largely spread between an assistant and a customer . Addressed by the former to the latter.

Here, in Spain is the same. My hairdresser call her customers “darling” but it has no other meaning than being polite or friendly.

If someone called me by text, or in person, even a friend, love, I would be shocked.

There must be a reason why you feel uncomfortable if this not happen. Which people this issue happen to you with? Unknown, friends, acquaintances?

Tart Cherry Jam · Sep 07, 2023 at 10:47 PM

Yes, I have often been called hun for honey by service providers. It does not mean anything.

Tart Cherry Jam · Sep 08, 2023 at 12:18 AM

@emily1890, do you call other people LOVE in person and over email?

Crazy Hitch · Sep 08, 2023 at 02:22 AM

I’ve never once called a person “love”. It’s not even in my vocabulary.

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I get really upset and uncomfortable if someone doesn't call me love

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Tart Cherry Jam Magnate Member Since Mar 2021 Location: California Posts: 2,685 (SuperPoster!) 3 1,205 hugs given	Sep 05, 2023 at 04:25 PM #2 This is really unusual. On and off, I have read this forum a lot and have never seen anyone with this need be called love.
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Tart Cherry Jam Magnate Member Since Mar 2021 Location: California Posts: 2,685 (SuperPoster!) 3 1,205 hugs given	Sep 05, 2023 at 04:26 PM #3 How many people do call you love in emails? I only have one person in my social circle who is in that habit. And I have a wide enough social circle which includes many true long term friends.
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Nammu Crone Member Since May 2010 Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system. Posts: 71,766 (SuperPoster!) 14 53.9k hugs given	Sep 05, 2023 at 06:06 PM #6 I’d be turned off if a friend called me love, or honey or anything else like that. __________________ *Nammu* …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,481 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,279 hugs given	Sep 05, 2023 at 06:57 PM #7 My husband says I call him “love” when I am annoyed. “Love, why the shoes are in the middle of the hallway?” Lol
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TishaBuv Legendary Member Since Dec 2014 Location: USA Posts: 10,258 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,879 hugs given	Sep 05, 2023 at 08:32 PM #8 I don’t feel I need that much reassurance, but I can relate to feeling insecure and fearful about my close relationships. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T
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Molinit Grand Member Member Since Nov 2015 Location: Michigan Posts: 850 8 86 hugs given	Sep 06, 2023 at 12:46 PM #14 I think you’ll need to work on getting used to not hearing it too much in the future, as someone mentioned above, someone using that term in conversation can run into trouble, it’s way too familiar to use with most people and someone may object to being spoken to that way.
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Tart Cherry Jam Magnate Member Since Mar 2021 Location: California Posts: 2,685 (SuperPoster!) 3 1,205 hugs given	Sep 07, 2023 at 10:47 PM #16 Yes, I have often been called hun for honey by service providers. It does not mean anything.
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Tart Cherry Jam Magnate Member Since Mar 2021 Location: California Posts: 2,685 (SuperPoster!) 3 1,205 hugs given	Sep 08, 2023 at 12:18 AM #17 @emily1890, do you call other people LOVE in person and over email?
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Crazy Hitch ɘvlovƎ Member Since Nov 2013 Location: Australia Posts: 18,635 (SuperPoster!) 10 12.7k hugs given	Sep 08, 2023 at 02:22 AM #18 I’ve never once called a person “love”. It’s not even in my vocabulary.
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