Drama in my social scene

So, I am learning my way around socially while being alone and single these days.

My ex husband isolated me from a social life for five years, and now that we are divorced, I am branching out all on my own, learning my way around a larger social scene, making new friends, but also running into some drama.

A new-ish friend is the one I wish to write about here. She is transgender (she used to be male). She and I became friendly through my divorce process over the last year. We had lunch 1:1 on two separate occasions. But that to me did not mean that we are close friends. Otherwise, we would bump into each other at music events and would have some conversation. I still did not consider us "best friends" or even close friends. More like acquaintances getting to know each other better. However, I've heard from other people that she considered us to be "great friends" and "best friends".

This person is stirring up a lot of conflict with many different people, including myself.

Not too long ago, she approached me when she saw me hanging out with a new guy. She told me she hates him and why. She claims that he had date raped a girlfriend of hers, and that several women in fact have complaints about him.

Well, I had heard very differently about this date rape situation, so I decided to proceed with him, but with extreme caution.

The alleged date rape victim wants to still hang out with her alleged perpetrator and continues to contact him repeatedly. She even asked if she could crash on his couch one night, and she wanted to hang out with us one weekend, all of us together. He had said no.

So, my new-ish acquaintance got angry with me as soon as she saw a photo of me and this guy together on Facebook at a music festival. She confronted me, then decided to write about me TWICE publicly on Facebook, when I had explicitly said for her to address any issues with me privately.

After this guy and I broke up this week, I contacted her to let her know this, but also to address her public posts about me.

And, she was completely unapologetic!

She had the nerve to tell me that she is NOT sorry for posting about the situation because SHE needed and wanted support over it, and that that took precedence over my need and expressed desire to handle things privately!

So I told her that she violated my boundary and disrespected me. I said that it was very selfish of her to place her need for support over my desire for privacy. She did not care. I also said it was a very immature thing for her to do. She is over 55 years old. She needs support on Facebook? Why not call a good friend and talk on the phone instead??????

Well, she is losing friends left and right and has been alienating herself from our whole community. She even got herself kicked out of a campground at a festival this past summer because she was creating conflict with so many different people.

And, now this includes myself as well.

I do NOT like conflict and I hate confrontation.

But in this situation, I confronted her and I stood up for myself.

I told her that it was unacceptable to post about me and this situation with this guy on Facebook, against my wishes and desires for privacy. I said it was selfish, self serving, and immature. Then I blocked her.

I bet she's now probably posting publicly about THIS incident!

I will have to see her around my social scene, and I do not wish to see her at all or even speak with her ever again.

This same person punched a wall outside at one music venue because her ex had shown up. And, every show I've been to with this woman, she is always angry and seething about someone or something having offended her. She is ALWAYS angry!!!!

She's taking hormones, which could be messing with her head, I do not know. But given all the drama I've heard that she's stirring up, something is going on with her.

The last thing I want is to alienate myself from my own social scene or from anyone in my scene. However, I'm guessing she's going to go blab about this to everyone she knows, creating negativity and spreading her poison.

What can I do, if anything? Just go about my business, not speak about it to anyone and let it go?? What if she IS posting about me on facebook again? She's blocked me, so I cannot tell.

Argh., I truly truly truly hate drama.