A birthday present????

My husband had come back to KY to take 1/2 the dogs back to California with him, so I would have time to fix up my house here & then get my furniture moved in. He had manulipated his way here at Christmas, so we packed up all the dogs & drove here for Christmas (longer story than this really).

After about 1 month of his arguing with everything I said, or pointing out some other bit of information that had absolutly nothing to do with the conversation, & the worst was never communicating about anything (except for the above way of communicating), I kicked him out....thinking I could handle fixing up the house I taking care of the 12 dogs....boy was I wrong, so I told him to get back here & take at least 1/2 the dogs with him until I got the house fixed up.

Anyway, he arrived here last Thursday & we got all the dogs washed & the basement dog area cleaned up. While he was here, he would go out & pick up my mail. There was a box sitting on the counter in the kitchen addressed to me. I couldn't figure out where it came from so I opened it & there was a swiss army knife. I looked at it wondering where it had come from because I hadn't ordered he. He asked me if it was ok & then explained that he got it for me for my birthday because he heard me say I wanted one the last time he was here. Now here goes.....I had already purchased a similar type of knife. Add to that the fact that I was having to transfer more of my money to him so he could pay his utility bills (which I don't have the money for). Add to that the fact that he had been constantly fighting with me & playing his childish word games & won't communicate about anything & doesn't want to make the marriage work because he "can't change" from being that 17 year old high school boy I married 32 years ago. He just can't seem to let go & was asking me all kinds of questions about my farm, finances, the size of my pool that I have to replace. He can't communicate about things that matter & all he does is ask questions that beat around the bush to get other information out of you....games, games, games.

So I'm supposed to accept a birthday present from someone who is just giving me something because it's the nice thing to do.....he can't give of himself to make the marriage a partnership & thought that all he had to do was make the money & that would make the marriage ok.....it's always things, things, things.

I told him he shouldn't spend money he doesn't have in the first place & that I didn't want anything from him if he couldn't give of himself to make the marriage work, I didn't want things from him. He keeps telling me that I should just tolerate him like I have done for so many years & everything will be just fine.....then came, but you said you wanted one, so I got it for you. Then I told him I wanted a million dollars but wasn't going to get that either.

He just didn't get it & played the hurt feelings game. Honestly, I was insulted that he would even bother trying to give me something when he can't even afford his own bills let alone the fact that he can't give of himself to make the marriage work I finally refused to accept his monitary things he keeps throwing at me.

He left tonight & a peaceful feeling comes over me everytime he is no longer around me.

I have to admit, it's rather sad spending my birthday all alone here away from everything & everyone, but it's better than fighting all the time & the stress of being around him. His birthday is right after Christmas & stupidly, I took him out to dinner for his birthday....but that was mostly because I wanted to go to the restaurant anyway & he just came along.

I think I will take myself to that awsome restaurant for my birthday dinner. It is the dining room at Shaker Village & the food is awsome. I have never tasted such flavorful normal food before in my life. It was the first restaurant I went to just after I purchased my farm & a place where it's very comfortable to go all by yourself.

So much for my venting about the birthday present.....I can't wait until all my ties with him are over with.....getting rid of the California house is going to be a project & since I refuse to be around him, not sure how it's all going to work out right now. If I didn't want my furniture so bad (I designed it & bought it with inheritance $$$), I would never go back to CA again or ever see him again.

I will have a much happier birthday now that he isn't around me,
Debbie

((((((eskie)))))))))

We will all be here to help celebrate your birthday, don't worry!

It sounds like he was trying to do something nice. Give him his balls back?

When he asked was it all right I would have told him, "I already purchased one for myself, but thanks for thinking of me," and left it for him to take back or not. I wouldn't have gotten into the whole relationship.