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Member
Member Since Dec 2022
Location: New York State
Posts: 304
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Jan 01, 2024 at 07:18 PM
#1
Over the past few years, I've been aware of how the historical dysfunction and abuse have begun to show up in my adult children and my relationships with them.
I wasn't the greatest mom, but I always hoped they would be happy. My reaction to stress and triggers is to withdraw and remain in shock. And they have done/said some pretty awful things to me. I can feel myself withdrawing from my children and not really liking them very much. I do know I play a part in this. Lately, when we get together, we end up arguing. Then I think about things. Apologize and try to have a better conversation. Maybe it's time for me to stop trying anymore. If they want to spend time with me then they can call. I just don't know what to do Sent from my SM-A146U using Tapatalk |
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 eskielover
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,816
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Jan 01, 2024 at 07:56 PM
#2
I grew up with totally dysfunctional parents who got their dysfunction from their parents. Then I married a totally dysfunctional husband. I learned coping skills that got me through as a child but those skills were dysfunctional as an adult & my daughter learned dysfunctional ways from the environment she grew up in. Yes, it is generational. However.....
when I finally left my bad marriage & I no longer had any live older generations in my life, I chose to use therapy to learn coping skills that were no longer dysfunctional rather than embrasing the dysfunction. That choice made healed my relationship with my daughter....... Just something to think about 
__________________  Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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 DeeeSchmeee68
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Member
Member Since Dec 2022
Location: New York State
Posts: 304
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Jan 01, 2024 at 08:25 PM
#3
I've been in therapy for years
My kids are not open to healing.... They are very angry people Sent from my SM-A146U using Tapatalk |
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| eskielover
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