[Blah nlah]

The video showed how they struggle to love their children. I was amazed, thinking my mom was accepting the fact that she is narcissistic and that she finds it tough to empathise with people. Turns out she meant my dad is the narcissist. And she had meant to send it to my sister. This was really painful that she feeding such lies to my sister. It is so heartbreaking to watch. My sister doesn’t talk to my dad much. She is under the impression that me and my dad are selfish narcissists. This is something that my mother had told her. My friends believe I’m a nice person. Three of my friends have stopped talking to me ever since I set boundaries regarding what’s acceptable. People don’t like boundaries. It is perfectly alright for people to dislike you. But when it’s your own mother, it hurts. And my sister.
My sister is getting married in December. After she leaves for Germany, my mother may feel vulnerable since my sister was her only support. Of course, they will continue to speak on call about how monstrous my dad is, and how I am his carbon copy. I have started going to therapy. Currently she is helping me with my routine. I have made a morning routine and am working on the rest of the day’s routine. I plan to study and journal. There’s a catch- my mom comes home and tends to verbally attack me then, since I am most vulnerable then and can’t walk out of the house. Let’s see what happens.

[LookingUpFinally]

Wow, It must be hard living with her. I hope you can find a way to live on your own!

[Crazy Hitch]

You’re doing the best you can in a difficult situation and taking proactive steps forward. Congratulations 😊. Congratulations on seeing a therapist. That is huge! Hopefully they can provide you with some strategies to cope whilst you deal with your toxic mother and navigate your way through studying.

[Blah nlah]

Thank you, for saying that I am doing my best. I needed your love and support. Am currently working on the next part of my recovery: denial. What happened to me? Was it trauma? Was it abuse? Why did I show signs of cptsd? (Distressing dreams, clenching fists when threatened, waking up with a start, crying spells and negative thoughts which is basically a flashback)