Friend issue... not sure how to feel

I planned a girls night out since I will be going on vacation soon and wanted to do something before my trip. It involved my best friend, a good friend from childhood, and myself.

My best friend got sick. She did not drink a ton, but we are suspecting alcohol intolerance or allergy since she has been having really bad reactions. She experienced a lot of stomach pain, then it started to pass, but then her stomach was hurting a lot and asked if we can leave. I tried my best to be attentive, and I was nervous about her driving home. She said she was ok to drive and left, but was crying and sounded like she was in pain.

We sent a group text, and I sent her an individual text asking if she was home and safe. She sent a one word text in the group text saying "hospital" the night of. I tried following up with her again and just sent a supportive message, but have not heard anything since.

I reached out to my other friend, and she said although she did not hear anything directly, she's "alive on Instagram." I am glad she is ok. I'm just a little confused about her lack of response. I hope she does not think I did anything wrong or should have done more at the time.

I guess I don't know what to do next.... reach out in a few days? (It happened a couple of days ago). Or just not say anything and wait until she reaches out? I feel a bit guilty for feeling a bit hurt as well

If she's your best friend, then I would keep reaching out to her. It sounds like she feels you don't really care. I'm not saying she has grounds to feel that way. After all, she said she was okay to drive. But she may be in an insecure, somewhat needy frame of mind. You can choose to be the bigger person and send a heartfelt message of concern.

If she persists in not responding, then you've done what you could, and it may be time to leave the ball in her court.

I wouldn't worry too much about it if her Instagram page shows her active and otherwise free of issue. I'm not a fan of people who feel inclined to manipulate others by making them worry unnecessarily by purposely giving broken pieces of information to see how they will react. She KNOWS she left you an ominous message when she only typed "hospital". If she has since moved on and is laughing it up on Instagram then she should explain herself. I don't believe in playing 20 questions to someone who should have the common sense and decency to explain themselves instead of putting a friend they supposedly care about through the ringer "guessing" what happen to them. That's selfish and immature.. If they're looking for attention, that's the wrong way to do it.

I don't understand why she would feel I don't really care, because if anything, I am wondering if she feels I am being too much or overbearing since I have sent her several heartfelt messages through both group text and individual text and have called her out of concern yesterday. I just sent another text just reaching out showing concern and reminding her that I have not heard from her and would just like to know if she is ok. The ball is in her court now.

I am feeling hurt and do agree with the points that you have raised. I guess I just don't understand because if that happened to me, I wouldn't leave my friends worried after something like that happened. Even if I needed space, I would send a simple text back letting them know that I am ok and acknowledging their concern for me.

I don't see what else you can do. It really is up to her now. What she's doing is not very nice. She has her reasons, but I have no idea what they are.

I'm not saying she has any good reasons. I'm not saying you deserve being ignored like this. But this has gone on too long for this to be a case of she forgot or was too busy. My guess is that she's ticked off about something. Or she is extremely rude. Or she likes head games. I never met her, so I have no insight into her personality.

Trying to guess her motive is probably a waste of effort. Maybe you'll never know for sure. That's pretty much up to her.

That’s really strange. Severe stomach pain to a point of crying makes me think of appendicitis. But she could just say after she took care of it. Is she typically attention seeker? Likes to feel important?

My dad likes to do this kind of stuff playing these games (no it’s not age in case someone says it’s because he’s old, he’s been always this way).

He’d not answer the phone repeatedly and when we freak out then he’d send cryptic text “doctor” or “hospital”. We get frantic and he’d not respond after. We don’t know where to go which hospital or doctor. So hours later we drive to his house and he’s just planting flowers outside. “Oh I just had a regular doctor appt” or something.

One time he sent mass text to family text chain with the picture of his forehead covered in blood. No explanation. No replies. We freaked out. Drove there. Turned out it was a small scratch or mosquito bite on his forehead. Nothing requiring any treatment. Fun times.

He often does these things when there’s something important happening to other family members, so he needs to upstage right away

It turns out she did get back to me after I tried 1 more time. She apologized and said she remains in the hospital and meant to get back, but never did. She said a lot has been on her mind, and they've been trying to help her get some pain under control. She did state she is starting to feel much better than before, but is still hospitalized. I was relieved to hear from her and understand that she just has a lot going on. She said it was good to hear from me again, and everything seems to be fine in terms of the friendship. Feeling relieved. Thank you everyone for your support and feedback.

I'm so glad you heard back from your friend. That's a long hospital stay in this day and age. Sounds like something serious. I hope she recovers soon.

It’s concerning that she has been in the hospital for days. I sm glad she reached out and hope it’s nothing serious