I'm never right he's never wrong

That said I already know the answer I'm just looking for some explanation.
Whenever I say anything it will be corrected, overwritten, or there will be the same explanation coming but with different wording.
When I said you're correcting me all the time he said he doesn't do it ALL the time. (well hard to argue with for example "it's 1pm" when it is indeed 1pm) As a mathematician I know that proving statements all/every is quite easy you just need to find one occasion when it's not true. Clearly people talk in terms differently in free-talk then in the courtroom which is where I feel like I have to do when I talk with him.
Another case is when I clearly remembered saying things even if a couple of minutes before it was said, then he told me such was never said. When it happens in a drunken occasion here and there you don't really notice. But it kept on happening way too often so I recorded conversations with my phone in my pocket. Listened to the previous minutes in the bathroom after I was told it never was said and there it was.
My point is that he ALMOST got me with these and many more. Where he screwed it up was that it wasn't occasional it didn't just happen here and there (whatever IT is whether is gaslighting, or isolating, or correcting, and and and), but each and every time without exception. And that made me suspicious and made me read online resources about such. Is where I learned terms like gaslighting and other nasty things.
In an extend I'm getting all of these (you should've seen me hesitating to use the term all), but for sure made me think.
Can't post links, so google power-and-control-wheel.png to understand what I'm talking about.
I don't talk to pretty much anyone anymore. He made me to apply for entry level minimum wage jobs that I did think was only to belittle me. I'm a highly experienced and knowledgeable professional in my field. Yet he made me take the jobs that pretty much interns would take. Data entry instead of network architect. Because "the competition is fierce" and "nobody will hire you you're a foreign with no college degree" and "what do you think who you are here, you just got here" even though I have 10+ years of experience in the field.
But it turned out it wasn't just belittling me but also to make me less than enough so I rely on him. "What would you do without me?"
Also when I said I made my jobs always so easy that I could just sit back and relax most of the time. I got "this is America you'll learn the way here. you'll have to work hard here" it felt like a what do you know attitude. Here I am have a job making more than he does, while pretty much watching tv 80% of my work-time sitting home.
Then there are the times when he insists that I make a decision, I do so, and we do something totally different anyways. I stopped caring. I throw in suggestions carelessly knowing we will do something else anyways. Now he claims that I don't even care anymore. Ironic isn't it?
When I say I cleaned my place (oh yeah we don't live together which made us stay together as long as so it was inevitable), he says why don't I clean his house too? When I go over, I bring food, I take out the garbage/recyclable, take in the mail, cook, I drive everywhere, on my birthday we split everything 50:50, on his I pay for everything.
He claims that I stink. Breath, foot, when I go to the bathroom to take a dump. I shower thoroughly and brush my teeth and rinse before arriving always. I understand breath can smell but for sure not less than 10 minutes after doing the above.. He sprays my feet. Makes me brush my teeth again. Turns on the fan in the bathroom. Once I went to the bathroom to fart, which I didn't. As a test. He walks by the bathroom and retch saying it stinks to the high heavens.
I left a pathetic less than 1000 dollars saving in my home country just for visits so I don't need to lose money on exchange. He said he NEEDS that money (I owed him close to $20k by then which was paid back in 3 months when I started to work), because he has to pay off my credit card debt to refinance his house. Made me humiliate myself in front of my friends asking them to wire that money. I get it 20k is a lot. But how does seven hundred some help in that situation? It does not.
He made me get flu shot even though I was not sick since i was like 6. Saying if you get sick and lose your job you're on your own and I won't support you anymore and you can go back to your country. (same went down with the other virus shot) Then "you'll infect me i'll die, you want me to die?" by the book.
Not even mentioning unfaithfulness on the top of this pile. Which he swore on his mothers, fathers, and sisters life he didn't do. Clear as sky he did. Then he said it happened when we weren't together. It did happen when we were. When I found out about it I broke up with him verbally (while staying married) for that very reason. When I say this he comes up with something form the past that I did to distract.
When we go out and I talk he always "helps me". I say something that someone doesn't fully get at first, instead of letting me explain, he takes over and explains it for me. Very humiliating. I asked him not to do it, he gets upset and says "i'm only trying to help you why are you being so rude?" Once I accidentally overhead a conversation he had with his friends saying he had to teach me life from scratch. As if I'd fallen off the sky the day we met and I wasn't already 30 by that time with all life's experience there is and more.
When I drive he always navigates with his google maps, even though I ask him not to because I know my way and I was never lost or confused. He gets mad when I keep on asking him to stop giving me directions. Once again "I'm only trying to help why are you so rude" When I'm already slowing down and signaling right he goes "go right here"
Thank you for reading and making it this far if you did. If you got only half way or much less and jumped down here, thank you too.
My question is if I'm only imagining things being this bad and I'm over sensitive as he claims I am, or these are serious situations and I need to take steps on walking away? I could go on for 10s of pages with examples I kept a diary on but this was too much already. I hope someone will find ease reading these YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
I'm the opposite of who I was when we met. I barely say or do anything, basically vegetating, agreeing on everything he says or wants. Therefore he thinks we're on the good path to recovery and to be together forever.
We're not. I want my life back.
I just don't know how to make the step needs to be taken.
Icing on cake: my English gets corrected all the time. As you see I barely babble the language... What would I do without him?

Of course every situation is different and I understand I got it lighter than others. But abuse is abuse. I forgot to mention that whenever I tried to talk to him about problems, I got shut down with arguments like "you do it too" or picking a poorly picked phrase or word and repeating it in my face until I kind of wanted to be anywhere else but there and regret I've mentioned anything on the first place. Drunken/drugged "fights" took not once 6-7 hours long. I kept on watching the clock sometimes, then he slammed the clock on the ground because I don't get to note the time he repeats his thoughts as much as he wants to.
I have a little thing for rougher than average sex, once at one of the worst "fights" I said I'm leaving and headed to the door, he came after me took my hand and put it on his neck saying "I know you'd like to do it, do it" I quickly pulled my hand away I think he wanted to get bruises and file report against me or threaten me to report me if I'm not X or not doing Y. I somehow wish he once just cut me a tiny bit so I had a legal way out but prove verbal abuse is extremely hard. Especially in CA where one is not allowed to record private conversation without all the participating parties' consent. Clearly whenever anyone is any near us he's 100% normal and nice.
As I'm at the very last stretch of immigration (citizenship interview is months away) I'm unable to leave and can only imagine the nightmares of the time when paperwork is done and I can flee. It all started beautiful, like in the big book. True love. I gave up and sold everything I had where I came from. It's been 6 years now. I have literally nowhere to go back I'd live on the streets. And problems started when I already owed $10+k which I could only pay back with the salary of the country of origin if I'd put aside everything they pay me for 6-8 years. Great money in local terms, but laughable here. That gave him the ultimate power over my life. Especially after threatening me with the flu/cvd shots and when I didn't want to get the most expensive car insurance. "if you cause an accident I won't pay your bills and you can go back to X. You must get the good insurance."
I'm just trying to explain that I'm not committing immigration fraud we've entered the marriage bona fide. And on paper we still live together. I'm at his place every weekend. I did take the required steps all the way through and got into this situation where I either should've left, or report abusive behavior (WAVA) none of the two are good options. I'm terrified if what would happen if he'd know about this post or God forbid I'd report abuse and he'd get to know about it / the government would decide I'm just a sissy and should stand up for myself etc. I guess good thing that in the open world we look perfect.
I read about immigration-abuse a lot and unfortunately it happens more often than you'd think. Having power over someone's existence apparently can be intoxicating for a lot of people. I find it sad and I do feel sorry for all of the abusers and the abused alike.
So frustrating that I'm trapped. At the very end every moment feels like a year.

I read about 80% of it.

What is your immigration status? Do you depend on him for that? Have you been married to him and with a green cars for 3 years?

You clearly do not need him but you should prepare your exit carefully and thoroughly.

Do not rinse your mouth after brushing your teeth as it destroys the fluoride action of the roothoaste. Nothi g in the mouth for 30 minutes after brushing. No food, no drink. Do floss before brushing your teeth and also scrape your tongue after floating and before brushing. If you buy many metal tongue scrapers, say on Amazon, you can just throw them in the Dishwasher and it will all be a painless but very worthwhile addition to your oral hygiene regimen. He may be falsely accusing you of having bad breath, but the steps above are overall very good for dental and general health so it still makes sense to adopt them. Oran health may not cause better general health but it sure strongly correlates with it. Also, do you have dental insurance? Do you get cleaning and preventative care twice a year?

What you wrote about him makes it overdetermined that it will be a gift and huge relief to ultimately get rid of him, but as I said, plan the exit carefully and consult with an attorney as there is a risk that this man will be living off of you while he can be claiming that you have a higher income potential and can support him. Nobody will know that orally he used to humiliate you by saying the opposite. Hopefully the relatively short duration of marriage will not be in his favor if he tries to live off of you.

I am very sorry you are in this awful situation. You are indeed being psychologically and verbally abused, and you need to find a way out of this marriage. I think your post says you don't actually live together, only on paper? Do you have your own apartment, separate from his? If so, then it will be far easier to separate. If you don't have your own apartment or home, do you have any family or friends you can rely on in this country who could take you in? You mentioned possibly being homeless on the streets. There are shelters here for abused women. There are many resources available to help you escape from this horrible person. And I do strongly advise working on an exit strategy and plan. But DO NOT TELL HIM you are leaving. Do not warn him. You must do this without informing him. When you can, research domestic abuse resources in Los Angeles, and contact those resources for help. I was in a similar situation with my ex husband who was abusive, and I contacted my local domestic violence center for help. They assigned me an abuse advocate who guided me out of the marriage. I advise the same for you. You will need assistance and guidance to get out of this situation. Whatever you do, do not think that you are stuck and that you can't leave. You can. There is always a way. And don't stay with this man. The abuse will only get worse as time goes on, and you will disappear completely as a person if you stay. Please do find a way out.

Thank you for all your support
My mouth does not smell. It's just a form of belittling.
There's the ridiculous fact I didn't believe in where if you only talk to one person and he/she keeps on saying something even if it's absolutely BS, you will believe it no matter how hard you try to resist.
It's having absolutely no perspective. That's why they isolate you so you don't get an objective overview of your situation.
Unfortunately like I said I have read and studied a lot on mental illness and abusive relationships.

I'm only making slightly more than he does so living off of me is not the issue "only" the bipolar, borderline, controlling behavior and the trust issues.
I only mentioned $ so you see that he tried to put me down on career-stuff belittling my knowledge/work experience, and he also tried to make me earn minimum wage so I depend on him financially.

I meant if I'd go back to my home country (which I can do at any given moment) I'd be homeless there. Figuratively speaking.
Of course not true because I have friends and family there but where as I had a whole infrastructure of life, fully furnished apartment to my taste, a nice car, steady income, great job, a routine, savings, basically a normal calm life, I'd go back to ground 0 at the age of 40+ having to start my life from scratch as if I was 17.

Where as here I have my own place and pretty much all the above except I'm not "free" which is ironic in the land of the free.

That's another thing, the ILLUSION of doing what I want is what I'm getting from him. We're in a semi-ok situation nowadays but that is only because what you said in your last sentence. I'm the opposite of myself when I'm with him, I'm never telling when I talk/meet someone on a rare occasion, I don't tell much at all, only what satisfies his needs. Extremely carefully watch not to mention a single person ever, because it will 100% come up in a soon enough tantrum.

Like I said the story is 5-6 years old now so I could go on forever and I already wrote too much.
Thanks everyone who is reading it and for the helping support.

Roughly max 6 months away from being a citizen. I need to hold on because once again if I file for WAVA the immigration officer who gets my case can simply say "fraud" or can say "she's just too sensitive" and deny my application. Plus then he'd ask me if how I got the approval without him having to be there. No thank you... I rather stay in the corner for another few months and hope for the best.

I'll plan the exit strategy until then, need a lawyer to see if what's the worst case scenario that can happen.

6 months is a short time. Your freedom is near.

Best wishes on your escape plan. I hope you are free very soon. This sounds intolerable to live with.

In fact, it sounds like my brother. I had to end contact with him some time ago. I can just NEVER say anything right, as far as he is concerned. Even if it's the same thing he just got through saying yesterday, if I say it today, he's going to tell me I'm wrong. He calls it "an intellectually stimulating exchange of ideas," and "trying to explore it from another point of view." I call it picking a fight.

I think Lois Griffin explained it best on Family Guy. Not that I usually watch that show, but she was right about this. Brian had developed that personality trait, and Lois pointed out in these approximate words, "You're just trying to be a contrarian. If you're agreeing with what's been said, then you're not the smartest person in the room." They want to feel smarter than you, so they're going to look for the least little part of your thinking that they can consider a flaw, and pounce on it.

Yes, that's my brother. I got tired of having to justify and defend my every expressed thought and opinion on even the most trivial matters, so I ended contact. He claims it's because I can't stand to be disagreed with and have to have a yes-chamber all around me, and/or he was giving me sound advice that I just didn't want to hear. (Did I ask for advice? No.)

As you know yourself, you need to get completely free of this man. You married him before really knowing him. You're not the first person to do that. But now you know who he is. Stop thinking you need to prove how bad this marriage is. That is not how the law works. Even with a ton of proof, no one is going to step in and rescue you. You know, yourself, that you are not being over-sensitive. You don't need to prove abuse. It itself, that will change nothing. Thank goodness, you have your own place to live.

Get your citizenship. Then file for divorce. Stop visiting him on the weekends. The authorities know that foreigners will sometimes marry Americans to get a foothold in the country. They also know that immigrants often get exploited by native citizens, who marry them and treat them abusively because the immigrant spouse is insecure and vulnerable. Don't assume the authorities will judge you. You are not the first person to be abused like this. Respect yourself.

This guy is a complete jerk. He also may be unscrupulous enough to plot vengence against you and invent lies to get you in trouble. Do not be intimidated by that, but be careful. Tell him nothing about your plans to escape. Don't waste your breath asking him to change. He won't. He can't. This is who he is.

It sounds like your income would allow you to afford legal counsel. See an attorney. (Do this quietly, without telling your husband.) Once you commit to a plan, you will start to feel better because you'll be on a pathway out of this miserable existence. Continue keeping a record of how he treats you. I hope he doesn't have a key to your apartment. If he does, explain to the property owner that you need the locks changed. Call a domestic abuse hotline, and start attending a support group for abused women.

You can end this horror show of a marriage. The only person you have to convince is yourself. Meanwhile, we are here for you. We believe you.

Thank you all for your support!
It's a weird phenomenal when you know 100% and proven that the other is bad/wrong/'the one' and not you but the same time you live in it for so long and have no way of talking about it especially with the one, that you also believe you're the faulty one at the same time. Like Schrödinger's cat.
I don't like to think of my exit strategy (but I still do) because I precisely know the sequence of happenings, and what I will be accused with and how it all will go down. Naturally I can be wrong. There's a version where he'll say "now that you got your citizenship we're done, we've tried it all and this isn't the life i want" but that has a very little to no chance.
If I'll jump out any given time after I'm not depending on him, it'll be like "you were only with me for the papers" and "this was your plan all along" etc where I know he knows it's not like that but every argument (I wouldn't call it arguments when one is going on and on and on and the other has no more than 2 words in a row to say before getting interrupted and being called rude etc) anyways whenever there's any disagreement the facts are bent so I'm the bad one and he's correct using anything necessary to do so. Whenever I ask/say the same in a reply at a later time, then it's explained how it's "different"
So I'm not sure how to address the accusation of the above, and how to deal with the pages and pages long of messages of "I'm having a heart condition and having reactions, I'll die it will be on you" or "What should I tell my family?" and all sorts of making me feel awful leaving him. Playing the victim is one of his favorites. Also projecting. So It'll be "fun" if we go that way. Legally he can't do anything for real, but we know way too much about each other so we could throw dark matter on each other making to look us.. well a couple of 12yrs old. but also very bad. We had no prenup and I don't have a box of matches to my name where as he's got his 2/3paid off condo.
Retiring while divorce papers are already filed, then filing for alimony would be just a good laugh and a quick no for any judge I hope...
Not even any of my current concerns.
I will be the cause of all problems for sure and him stepping aside of our marriage also will be brought up and justified "you weren't there for me" well not sorry for being depressed after he treated me like **** putting me down and humiliating me for months and months when I was on a job hunt. Also there's 0 legitimate reason to look aside and look for someone else's 'love' in a marriage. More to it: in the opposite direction I'd been out of the country within a month. That was when we still lived together but whenever I dared to bring it up he goes "we weren't together that time" I broke up with him for 6-7 months way after this and this was the sole reason for breaking up. But of course I remember wrong.
I'm not looking forward to the "so you just want to give up on us" and "you don't even want to try" shame blaming. We did nothing but try since years. So what'd change? A few months of the "oh honey I love you" and frequent oral in the honeymoon of the abuse-cycle? Not again thank you.
Thank you thank you thank you for listening and making me feel less crazy.

Do not concern yourself with arguing against the stuff that he'll throw at you. What he thinks is his problem. You don't need his permission to leave. In his mind you are totally, 100% wrong and at fault. He'll stick to that 'till his dying day. Let it go in one of your ears and out the other. Avoid provoking his anger for your own safety. Beyond that, you don't need to care what he thinks about anything. You absolutely do need to give up on this marriage.

This may seem too obvious to need saying, but do not get pregnant by this guy. No child deserves this jak-arse for a father. Keep that in mind. You made a mistake putting your trust in this guy, but this is a mistake that you can correct. That's your goal. What he tells his family is his problem. Don't accuse or provoke. Just stick to a good plan for getting the heck out of this marriage. Make yourself as boring as possible when you're around him. Practice being dull. It would be great, if he just lost interest in you.

A support group for victims of domestic abuse would help you to shift your thinking away from accepting his version of what's going on. You would meet others who have endured psychological abuse. You need more support in rejecting all the crap that he dumps on you. Be around him as little as possible. It's hard to heal, when someone keeps rubbing salt in your wounds.

You're not crazy. This marriage is crazy, and you don't have to stay in it. You leaving will probably make him furious, so be careful. Separate your finances from his. Make sure he cannot touch your bank accounts. An attorney can warn you about things you might not think of. Confide fully in your attorney. The support of a good lawyer will strengthen you. You'll get where you need to get by coping one day at a time. For now, you have to be your own best friend.

This whole experience is not a waste. It is teaching you important lessons that you've needed to learn. You will come out of this a much wiser woman. You can learn to empower yourself.

He is wrong, and people who do things like him are abusers. I have similar relationships, now - no friends, no money, no self-esteem... I think I love him, but it's a dependency.
I wish you to pass through this smoothly and with minimal damage.