[Wherehaveigone26]

This is so hard for me to even write. I have been married for 20 years, have known my husband for almost 28 years. I am just now starting to feel restless. He works so much, I am so alone most of the time, we have a special needs adult child. He was the love of my life, I just started to now feel like every day is just passing time waiting to die. Is this what is a mid-life crisis? I am past mid life-closer to the end of it. I totally let myself go, my health, my looks, because I had/have a special child to care for. All hubby does is work, eat, sleep, and leaves me his messes to clean. He can’t do anything for himself regarding a computer, he doesn’t do much to help manage with our child. We haven’t had sex in so long, because I no longer feel I am desirable. I am trying to start this new year on a new note, being positive, I also think my hormones are changing now, it may be causing this shift. I told him about some of this, my hormones changing, but he still sleeps all day when he is home. He kind of was like this at the beginning of our marriage, not really paying attention to us as a family. I know he has a very physically demanding long work hours job, but it doesn’t take much energy to sit on the couch and talk to me. He’s a good man, but I am basically very bored. I never realized it until now.. am I being ridiculous?

[Tart Cherry Jam]

No, you are human, not ridiculous. You have a very hard life.

[Rive.]

You are not being ridiculous.

This is not how life, or relationships, are meant to be. It seems that you have lost connection with one another. It *is* possible to rekindle that connection but only if he is willing to put in the 'work'.

Communication is the first step. Otherwise, unfortunately, you will both be like strangers sharing a common space.